The Hot Barista
by WhyTFNot
Summary: Remus is a tired, hardworking Starbucks barista, and Sirius is a Hot Topic cashier. Slowly, but surely, the two find themselves falling for each other.
1. Chapter 1

3 minutes and 42 seconds.

There was a soft swish as a fourteen year old girl placed a black tank top with a green Slytherin emblem on the counter.

3 minutes and 37 seconds.

"Ahem." She lightly cleared her throat, making Sirius jump.

"Right," he smirked, glancing away from the clock for the first time in about twenty minutes. Gingerly he picked up the tank top and slid the price tag under the scanner, grimacing. "You know Slytherin is for the bad guys right?" He didn't understand why so many fans liked the house. Who wanted to be evil? Besides the world didn't need any more villains.

The little girl grinned. "I like the color green," she said innocently as she handed the scowling boy exact change for her purchase.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, "sell your soul for a color." As soon as she turned away from the counter, he turned back to the clock.

1 minute and 18 seconds. He pushed his shoulder length black hair behind his ears and his brow furrowed as he stared harder, willing the minute hand to move. "Come on, come on." Slender fingers drummed the store counter.

57 seconds.

36 seconds.

15 seconds.

And it was 12:00.

"Yes!" Sirius ripped his Hot Topic employee lanyard off his neck and shoved it under the counter as he hopped over it. Walking out of the entrance he saw a familiar figure making its way towards him from the sports store across the mall.

"What's up man?" The other boy asked, pushing his glasses further up his nose and running a hand through his unruly black hair.

"Hey James. God, that shift could not have gone slower. Ugh, and why does everyone like slytherin so much?" Sirius scowled, while the other boy laughed. "come on, I'm starving."

They walked into the food court, James laughing at a snarky comment Sirius had made. James started wandering off to the Panda Express before he was yanked by the shirt collar into the Starbucks line.

"Fuck mate," James exclaimed, rubbing his neck. "I thought you were hungry."

"I am," Sirius snapped, a dazed look on his face.

"Coffee isn't food, you tosser," He grinned. "Besides, I want Chinese."

"Then get Chinese mate. I'm not your girlfriend, you can get food somewhere else." Sirius still had an dreamy look on his face and it seemed to be directed in the general area behind the Starbucks counter. James stalked off, still rubbing his neck and went to stand in the line in front of Panda Express. He turned around to give Sirius a questioning look but he was still completely focused on…what was he focused on?

"Coffee for Malfoy?" A tall, tired looking, dirty blond called out an order, and a scowling teenager with white blonde hair accepted the drink. If Sirius hadn't been completely focused on the barista, he would have noticed that "Malfoy" was a rather unpleasant classmate of his that was a few years ahead of him. But Sirius was completely focused on the barista, and honestly, you couldn't blame him. It was a busy line in front of the counter but it seemed to only be the one boy and another girl working. Sirius felt himself blush as he watched the boy bite his lip as he scrawled a customer's name on a white and green cup.

The line moved forward as Sirius continued to watch the mesmerizing boy take and fill orders with incredible ease, his blond hair swishing softly as he moved back in forth in a hypnotizing rhythm in sync with the other girl behind the counter. As he got closer, Sirius could see a little gold in the green of his eyes, and that he had a spattering of freckles on his left cheek, and that his nose crinkled when he furrowed his eyes in anger, and-

"HEY!" The blond boy, Remus his name tag declared, snapped his fingers inches away from Sirius's nose. "I don't know if this concept is foreign to you or something, but when you get to the front of the line, you order."

Sirius was suddenly aware of the grumbling noises of the people in line behind him, and the adorable bewildered look on the boy in front of him's face. His own face was suddenly redder than the Panda Express logo on the cup in James Potter's hand, who was snickering a few feet away. Shit, had he been staring that long? He had no idea what he wanted.

"I'll-" he cleared his throat, "I'll have a coffee, um please."

The blond boy, Remus, cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. "You're gonna have to be a little bit more specific than that, pal."

"Right." Sirius's eyes flitted back up to the menu, picking out the first thing he saw. "I'll take a caramel latte please. Oh um tall."

Remus picked up a small coffee cup and clicked the top of the pen in his hand. "Alright. Name for your order?"

"Sirius."

"yes, I'm serious. I need a name."

James was howling now, his Panda Express soft drink nearly spilling on the slightly sticky linoleum floor of the food court.

"No… that's my name. Sirius."

Now it was Remus's turn to blush. "Oh right, sorry." He quickly scrawled s-e-r-i-o-u-s on the cup in hasty cursive letters. "Your total is $4.37."

Sirius paid, his face still flaming and went over to stand next to James and wait for his order.

"Geez mate, the guy was screaming at you for a solid two minutes before you snapped out of it and ordered. What gives?"

Sirius, blushing, wasn't sure how to answer that. He himself didn't even really know why he had been so taken with the boy.

"I mean," James continued, "The barista is cute, but she's not that cute."

"I don't know mate, I think-" Sirius paused. Wait… she? Oh right, the other barista. James didn't know he liked guys. To be honest, Sirius didn't know if he liked guys. I mean, he'd kissed more girls than he had guys, and his one sloppy drunk kiss with a guy he barely knew in a bar he was too young for didn't count did it? Sometimes you just get curious, right? Experimentation is supposed to be normal. And that's all it was, he told himself. Experimentation.

"Serious?" The blond barista called out his name and he hurried to pick up his drink, barely able to look the other boy in the eyes. Still, he had to stifle as a shiver as the boys fingers brushed against his own. This didn't feel like experimentation.

"Let's just eat, eh?" He muttered to James as he hurried, blushing, to the nearest available table, while the barista, Remus, looked on, a bit confused.

James wouldn't let Sirius steal any of his Chinese as they ate, still not understanding why the boy hadn't gotten any food of his own if he was so _starving_. So Sirius sipped his sugary coffee as he tried not to look over his shoulder at the adorable blond boy named Remus, and sat there instead wondering if the boy was looking at him.

If he had turned around, he would have noticed that he was.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a busy day at work today, and Remus was already exhausted. The combination of staying up till 5 in the morning to finish "The Shining" and a 7 a.m. hospital visit wasn't a good one, and the boy felt dead on his feet. Yawning, he rubbed the crease of his elbow, massaging the tiny bruise made by a sleepy nurse that morning. He looked at the clock. He still had 15 minutes until the mall was open and customers began to arrive. Slowly, he leaned forward and rested his forehead on the cappuccino machine he was cleaning. A minute turned into two, and his eyes rolled back in his head a bit as he could feel himself drifting off to sleep.

"Yo! Rem!" A girl wearing the same apron as him slapped him on the back as she took her place behind the counter. "You okay there, buddy?" she asked a little concerned, when he jumped back awake.

"Fucking Christ Marlene. I was trying to sleep." He rubbed his eyes, and grinned up at her. She rolled her eyes.

"Another late night I see. Must have been a hell of a party," she grinned.

"Oh you bet. You don't happen to know Jack Torrance do you? He's a riot. The life of the party last night." Remus drawled sarcastically.

"How about you try not to get fired, and finish cleaning." Marlene handed him a rag and turned around to finish wiping the counter.

The morning rush went by quickly, just a blur of "May I take your order" and "Have a nice day." The next couple of hours went by slow. After 9 o clock, it was basically dead until the lunch rush took over. Remus had one arm on the counter propping his sleep-heavy head up as he listened to Marlene chatter on about her after-work plans with her friends Alice and Lily. Remus was vaguely familiar with Alice and Lily, as they and Marlene all went to his high school. He was trying to remember if he had history with Lily and english with Alice, or history with Alice and english with Lily, but he couldn't remember. It was the start of a new semester, with classes starting tomorrow, and he hadn't memorized his schedule yet. A line started forming in front of the counter. He glanced at the clock, and blinked sleepily. 11:45? Wow, lunch rush already.

He straightened himself out, and took his place behind the register. Most days, Remus would take and handout the orders, and Marlene would prepare them. She liked adding the syrups and things to the fancy drinks, so Rem let her. She said it made her feel like a witch, making potions or something. Today was no exception.

"What can I get for you today?" Remus asked the lady in the front of the line, trying to make his smile seem genuine and not insane. He took order after order for almost fifteen minutes straight, but the line refused to dwindle, instead growing longer and longer until Remus had to consciously fight the urge to groan in frustration. He was so tired he could barely feel his feet, and was a little worried he might collapse at this rate. He groaned internally, mentally asking himself if staying up all night to read a book was even worth it. Then remembering the ending, he couldn't help but grin. Fuck yeah, it was. That was a phenomenal book. And he had another new one waiting for him at home.

"May I take your order?" He asked, looking at the cash register, ready to punch in whatever the next customer ordered. There was no answer. He looked up. In front of him stood a tan, black haired boy with piercing grey eyes, staring straight at him but not making a sound. He was definitely cute and would have been almost majestic if he hadn't had his mouth slightly open and that dumb look on his face. He tried again.

"Excuse me. What can I get for you today?" Again no answer. He turned around to glance at Marlene who shrugged and mouthed "What the fuck?" The boy still hadn't moved. Or closed his mouth. Geez, what was this guy on?

"How can I help you?" Still no answer. The people in the line behind him were starting to get restless, and a couple feet away a boy carrying Chinese food was laughing his ass off. This guy was insane, and Remus was losing patience.

"HEY!" he shouted and snapped his fingers about an inch from the boy's nose. Marlene stifled a giggle. "I don't know if this concept is foreign to you or something, but when you get to the front of the line, you order."

The boy shook his head a little and suddenly turned flaming red. God damn, Remus thought to himself, that only made him cuter. The boy looked bewildered, like he had been called on in class and didn't have an answer.

"I'll-" he cleared his throat, "I'll have a coffee, um please."

Remus cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. Was this guy from another planet or something? "You're gonna have to be a little bit more specific than that, pal."

"Right." the boy's eyes flitted back up to the menu. "I'll take a caramel latte please. Oh um tall."

Remus picked up a small coffee cup and clicked the top of the pen in his hand. "Alright. Name for your order?"

"Sirius."

"yes, I'm serious. I need a name." God first he holds up the line, and then he tries to back talk me? Where does this guy get off?

"No… that's my name. Sirius." The boy muttered, blushing even harder, and looking a little offended.

Now it was Remus's turn to blush. "Oh right, sorry." He quickly scrawled s-e-r-i-o-u-s on the cup in hasty cursive letters. God he was an idiot. "Your total is $4.37." The boy handed him a crumpled five and Remus sheepishly counted out his change, wishing he could disappear. He could hear Marlene behind him trying to hide her laugh behind her hand. The boy took his change and went over to stand next to the laughing boy with Chinese food and wait for his order. God, Remus thought, he could not have made a bigger fool of himself.

"Ahem." The next customer cleared their throat.

"How can I help you?"

When "Serious's" order was ready Remus called his name and watched as he hurried over with his face red and his head down. Their fingers brushed as the boy took his cup and Remus felt himself blushing again. Oh no. You can't have a crush on this one, he told himself. You just yelled at him and made fun of his name in the span of about 45 seconds. I think the ship has sailed on this one, you idiot.

Remus watched the boy and his friend walk away. He blushed again. With an ass like that, keeping a crush at bay was going to be hard work.

"Rem!" Marlene snapped. "We got a line, here!" God damn it. He drew his eyes away from the boy and his friend and back to the next customer in line. But as he took order after order he couldn't help but wonder what the boy was looking at.

It wasn't him was it? Remus chuckled. No, he thought, he was never that lucky.


	3. Chapter 3

Sirius could see Remus the barista from his post behind the register at Hot Topic. The store was never all that busy so while he did ring up the occasional purchase, and helped a few preteens find their favorite supernatural characters on buttons, he spent most of that afternoon watching the snarky blond prepare coffee orders. An equal amount of that time, however, was spent mentally hitting himself over the head for acting so stupid.

Yes the boy was mind boggling cute. Yes the way he moved, and talked, and wrote made Sirius's stomach clench with angst. But staring at him with his mouth open? Really? That was a new low for Sirius.

Sirius, who had never been anything but smooth when it came to flirting, who could get almost any girls number he wanted with a wink and a smile, and who had dated way more than his fair share of girls throughout high school but had never had butterflies in his life, suddenly had butterflies and weak knees over a _boy_? It made him more than uncomfortable.

Sexuality had always been a bit of a question mark for Sirius, but it was one he mostly tried to ignore. Girls were nice. He didn't mind them. And sure disappointing his family had become quite the hobby the past few years, but he definitely didn't want it to become a full blown occupation. He could imagine multiple scenarios involving him bringing home a boy and none of them ended well. Sirius put his head in his hands. Few of them ended with him _alive._

Well, if I don't look at him, I can't get butterflies, the boy decided. Yeah, he though triumphantly, _logic_.

Instead of looking over at the Starbucks every couple of seconds, Sirius's head went back into its usual rhythm of looking at the clock. He realized it was 5:45, fifteen minutes until the mall closed. Relieved, he started closing the store. He folded t shirts, put buttons back into their appropriate containers, rearranged posters, and finally clocked out and locked the door.

"Ah!" James was inches from his face when he turned around. "The hell, James?" But the boy was laughing his ass off and couldn't respond.

Finally in between breaths he replied, "Ready to go?"

"I have never been more ready in my life." James gave Sirius a puzzled look, but turned and headed for the doors side by side with the other boy.

Sirius peeked at James out of the side of his eye. He didn't find James particularly appealing, sexual-wise. He didn't find his other guy friends sexually attractive, did he? Was he really gay?

But walking by the Starbucks, watching that same barista clean the cappuccino machine made his stomach feel weak again. What was going on?

"Sirius!?" James snapped, punching him in the shoulder. "What is the matter with you? I asked you a question like three times!"

God not again. "Sorry mate. What was it?" Sirius mentally kicked himself. What was wrong with him. James followed Sirius's gaze over to the Starbucks. Shit, Sirius thought to himself. I could at least be less obvious.

But James only laughed. "You've got it bad for that barista huh? Why don't you just ask for her number, mate? I've never known you to get turned down."

Sirius looked bewildered. If only it was the girl he couldn't stop thinking about. Things would be so much easier. "Nah mate, it's late. I gotta get home."

James shrugged. "Alright. Oh! Speaking of home, my mom wanted to know if you wanted to come for dinner tonight? She's making shepherd's pie."

"Aw sounds great, James but I should probably get home. I didn't ask my parents, and I don't want to start the new semester with a black eye, you know?" He chuckled but James looked at him worried, with an almost parental gaze. James had noticed a few bumps and bruises on his best friend before, but Sirius was always quick to make a joke about it and brush it off.

"Alright mate, but you know you're always welcome at my place."

"Yeah yeah I know. Thanks man. Listen, I'll see you tomorrow right? First period English?"

"Yep!" James grinned and waved, turning and jogging to his car. Sirius sighed and got in his own car. He would give anything for some of Mrs. Potter's shepherd's pie right now, but if he skipped dinner, he'd be facing a beating when he got home. And he wanted to look nice for school tomorrow.

Starting the car, he caught a glimpse of his clock.

6:10. Shit, he was going to be late for dinner. The Black family ate dinner every night at 6:15, dressed appropriately. It was mandatory except by pre-approved excuse. He knew he was going to get yelled at for being late, but it depended on what mood his mother was in. If she was in a relatively good mood, he would just be yelled at. If she wasn't, he probably wouldn't get to eat. His stomach growled. Why the fuck did he skip lunch today.

Sirius roared into the drive way of his family's giant house at exactly 6:23. He had sped the whole way home and shaved a few minutes of the usually 20 minute commute, but it hadn't been enough. He sprinted out of the car, and ran up the drive way, locking the car over his shoulder by remote. He banged through the front door, threw his keys onto the table in the foyer, and sprinted into the dining room, where he stood in front of his parents and his brother and tried to catch his breath.

"You're late." His mother's cold gray eyes looked him up and down. "And not dressed appropriately." She scowled at his black jeans and converse and his faded black t shirt.

"I'm sorry" Sirius gasped, still trying to catch his breath. "I was at work."

"When you get a real job, you can use it as an excuse to be late to dinner. Until then you will find a way to be on time and in appropriate attire." The chilling voice of his father bounced off the white marble of the dining room.

"It is a real job." He remarked defensively, hating how childish his voice sounded when it followed the terrifying and booming voice of his father.

He could feel his mother's hawk like eyes zero in on him after that remark and he flinched. "Shut your mouth." she barked. "If you expect to eat tonight, you have exactly one minute to go upstairs and change. If you back talk your father again, you won't eat dinner for the rest of the week."

Knowing she would be true to her word, Sirius bit his tongue, turned on his heel and sprinted out of the dining room and up the stairs to his bedroom. Hastily throwing on a dress shirt and some slacks, he sprinted back down the stair case and took the seat across from his brother.

Dinner commenced in silence for a few minutes before his father started up a conversation with Sirius's brother, Regulus, about debate club. Sirius felt his stomach turn as the conversation moved from debate to school, and consequently, to him.

"Sirius, better grades are expected this semester." His mother said, coldly.

"Not expected. Required. And if you wish to stay on that silly sports team of yours, then progress will need to be made immediately." His father added. Sirius bit his tongue harder. School had always been difficult for him, on account of the dyslexia that his parents refused to treat, or even acknowledge. _No Black has ever had a learning disability and it won't start with you._ Soccer, the silly sports team his father so lovingly referred to, was the only thing keeping him going sometimes. "And you can keep your job at the mall until the end of the semester." His father sneered the word mall like it pained him to have the word even touch his lips. "But you will be working in my law firm this summer. I pulled a lot of strings to get someone like you into the intern program, so you will not let me down."

Sirius felt his face get hot. Quit his job? "For the last time," he whispered, not able to make eye contact with either of his parents, "I don't want to be a lawyer."

"I didn't ask, boy" His father growled.

"I like my job!" Sirius felt his voice getting louder. "I'm not leaving it to work all summer in a law firm with a bunch of low life's!"

At the speed of light, Sirius's mother reached across the table and smacked him across the face, making him drop his fork with a loud clatter that echoed through the marble room. Within seconds he could feel finger shaped welts begin to form on his cheek. "The choice isn't yours to make." Her voice was low and terrifying. "It is not evil to have ambitions. It is not dishonorable to aspire to be something. Your father has provided you with a prestigious job, one which you by no means deserve, and you will act grateful or suffer the consequences. Are we understood?" Her voice, quiet but powerful, caused a hot rush of tears to spring up behind Sirius's eyes.

"I have ambitions," He cringed at the whiny sound of his voice, unsure of how to make himself sound confident. "They just aren't your ambitions." He whispered that last part, almost hoping his mother hadn't caught it. But she had.

"You aspire to work in a t shirt shop the rest of your life? Is that it?" She stood up, "I know you can't comprehend this, but you. Reflect. This. Family. And right now you are embarrassing us. You will take this job in the summer, or you will quit your job and your soccer team now and start work immediately." She grabbed his plate out from in front of him. "You are done. Go to bed."

He pushed himself away from the table, unable to make eye contact with any of his family, just in case they could see the tears in his eyes. Biting his cheek to keep from crying he walked up stairs, shut his door, and collapsed on his bed, just in time for a cascade of sobs to be swallowed by his pillow.

After almost an hour his quiet sobs were punctuated with a soft knock on his door. He sat up, dried his eyes, and did his best to look tough and unfazed before he opened his door. Regulus was standing meekly on the other side, holding a plate of food. Sirius's stomach growled when he saw it. He had barely had three bites downstairs.

"I brought you some food," Regulus held the plate out.

"What a hero." Sirius snapped. "If only you could have donned the cape and mask earlier and stood up for me down there." He hated what he had said as soon as he said it. Regulus was his little brother. It wasn't his job to protect him. But he didn't have to be so much _like them_.

"Look, I didn't have to bring you anything, asshole." Regulus put the plate on the floor. "Take it or leave it. See if I care." He got half way down the hallway before he turned around and said, "You know they're not evil, Sirius. They got you a better job and all they want you to do is be better in school. God, man, you'd think they were torturing you for the way you're carrying on." And then he disappeared into his room.

Sirius felt his heart twist as his brother shut his door. He took the plate of food from the floor and tried not to let the fresh tears falling down his face spill onto his dinner. Yes his parent's got him a job, and wanted him to do better in school. But it was a job he knew he'd be miserable at. It was an excuse for his father to watch him all day and berate and belittle him when he did everything wrong. They wanted him to do better in school but they wouldn't get him the help he needed to succeed while living with dyslexia. They fought as hard as they could to find reasons to take away his job at the mall and his spot on the soccer team, the only good things in his life besides his friends. They starved him when he misbehaved, or was late, or stood up for himself. They beat him and left bruises or broke bones when he did something they deemed embarrassing to the Black family name. Of course to his little brother, the parents they shared were strict but loving. They supported Regulus's spot on the debate team, praised his high grades, and his many offers for summer internships. In his mind, they would love Sirius too if he just tried a little harder.

But Regulus wasn't there the many times Sirius had contemplated suicide. Regulus wasn't there the one time Sirius tried it. Regulus didn't see the look of disgust on their mother's face, where there should have been a look of terror, when she found Sirius on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night, covered in tears and blood, with his wrist slit. Regulus hadn't been there in the emergency room when she had scolded him for using her good knives for his childish little endeavor. Regulus didn't know how much it hurt to watch your father give book recommendations to your brother and then break one of your ribs in the same night.

But, Sirius thought as tears streamed down his face and mixed with his mashed potatoes, he didn't want Regulus to know. He was just a kid.

Sirius put the food aside, sick to his stomach from crying, and got into bed. School started tomorrow and he needed sleep. He promised himself he was going to try harder. If not for himself, then for Regulus. Slowly, he drifted off into an uneasy sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Remus and Marlene sank into a natural rhythm of taking and filling orders the rest of the afternoon. The work was mind numbing, but Remus's mind was wide awake and thinking, not about the customers, but about a certain black haired boy who had stared at him a little too long. Remus didn't know Sirius worked just a few stores over, at the hot topic, but if he had he would have noticed that every few minutes the boy behind the counter would look up at him. Instead he was frantically trying to figure out why he had been staring at him, or even if he was staring at him.

He had checked his teeth in his metal reflection off the cappuccino machine, but there was nothing stuck there. His hair looked ok, according to Marlene, but she was too nice to be a reliable source. His clothes were clean, no stains, or tears. Of course, he could have been staring at Marlene. He found himself subtly trying to size her up while he was working. Now, Remus "played for the other team" and had been aware of this for a long time, but he still had eyes. He supposed Marlene was on the above average side of the attractive scale. Her hair was long and blonde, the way most boys liked it. Her eyes were big and blue and kind of doe-y. Her nose and lips were small, giving her a Disneyesque appearance.

Remus groaned. Oh yes it was more than likely that the boy had been staring at her. In fact, it was probably more likely than thinking that the boy had been staring at him.

Finally the flow of customers stopped and the two baristas began to clean the counter, and shut everything off.

"Hey Rem, you know Alice's parents are out of town this weekend." Marlene said as she finished washing the blenders off in the sink.

"That's cool, Marlene." Remus replied, not really sure what this had to do with him. Marlene laughed.

"No, what I mean is that we're all going over there for a party tonight. You know, kind of a back to school thing." She smiled. "Everyone will be there. Frank, Alice, Lily, Me, Peter, you get the idea."

"Well I hope you have fun," Remus stated as he wiped down the counter, and got his keys out to lock up. Marlene laughed again.

"I'm trying to invite you, you idiot." She smiled at him, "Come on, it will be fun!"

"Oh." This wasn't the first time Marlene had invited Remus to something. He always refused, thinking she was just being polite. He wasn't the best at parties, and he was pretty sure she knew that. Besides, getting close to people was a little bit difficult for Remus on account of his condition. "Thanks Marlene," He started hesitantly. Her face fell as she detected the impending refusal. "I promised my mom I'd be home for dinner. I'll see you at school tomorrow." They walked out of the store and Remus locked the door behind him.

"Alright. Eventually you'll be bored enough to hang out with us," She chuckled. "See you at school tomorrow. First period English, right?"

"Yep. See you then," Remus waved goodbye and walked slowly to his car. He was exhausted but he honestly couldn't wait for school to start tomorrow. The routine of classes and homework was his favorite distraction. He rubbed the back of his neck. He was in dire need of a distraction.

After driving home, he walked inside his family's modest house and dropped his keys on the tiny table that stood in their tiny hallway.

"Rem?" He heard his mother shout from the other room. "Dinner's ready!"

He walked into the kitchen and sat down next to his mom, kissing her on the cheek as he did so. He helped himself to food while his mother asked him her usual barrage of questions about his day.

"How was work?"

 _Exhausting. "_ It was good."

"Did anything interesting happen?"

 _Oh no, just developed a monster crush on this cute boy._ "Nope, it was pretty standard."

"How's Marlene?"

"She's good, I guess."

"You know, you should invite her over for dinner sometime."

 _Yeah right._ Remus's eyes shot up to the fridge where his medicine schedule was taped up, and then to cabinet where you could see bottles and bottles of pills, and then back to his mother's hopeful face. He had never had a friend over before. And it wasn't because of his parents, or his small house, or his messy room. Remus was suffering from a medical condition of… no he didn't even want to think the word. The fact is that he had never told anyone other than family. In fact he hadn't even told them, they were just there when he was diagnosed. But by bringing them to his house, it would be impossible to hide his condition. Remus would much rather have a couple acquaintances than have real friends only to lose them because of the stigma surrounding his disease. "Maybe."

He saw his mother's face fall a little as he gave her his standard answer when she suggested having his friends over. She knew it had nothing to do with her, but she also knew she could do nothing about it, and Remus knew she was hurt seeing her son so alone. He choked back the lump in his throat.

"Where's dad?" he asked, desperate to change the subject.

"Oh, work needed him late again. He won't be back till much later." She smiled, but even her smile couldn't hide the sadness behind her eyes. Remus's medical treatments were getting progressively more expensive as he aged. He knew his father had been picking up double and triple shifts to try and pay for it, and he, himself, also had picked up as many work shifts as he could to try and help pay for them. At first, his mother had refused his money, saying that he was a teenager, and he got the job so he could have spending money. She didn't want him to have to carry such adult responsibilities just yet. But the truth was, with only his parent's combined income, they couldn't afford the medical treatments. But the medical treatments couldn't afford to be stopped. So instead of buying books, he bought treatments. It didn't bother him. At least that's what he told himself. He would eventually have to pay for them all on his own so he decided he'd better get used to it.

Remus ate as his mother talked about her day to fill the silence. She worked at an insurance office, and there was apparently some drama between the ladies of her office. Two of them were both trying to win the affection of the same "cute" intern. Remus didn't care about the office drama but he did care about his mother, so he listened for a while, and took his medicine, before he politely excused himself to go take a shower.

Up in his bathroom, finally alone and quiet, Remus breathed a sigh of relief. He took off his work uniform and got in the shower, trying to get the smell of coffee out of his hair. It never seemed to work. Remus seemed to smell perpetually of old books and coffee grounds, despite daily showers. He supposed it was better than the sterile smell of the hospital, and definitely better than the collective smell of the mall food court.

He used a towel to dry his hair after his shower, and put on a t shirt and flannels before crawling into bed. Since he had finished "The Shining" the night before, he decided to start "Flowers for Algernon." He had read the book about a million times, but it was his favorite, and he knew if he started a new book tonight he would read all night. He didn't want to fall asleep the first day of school.

But, tired as he was, Remus only made it past the first chapter before his head drooped and he was asleep on the book itself, drooling ever so slightly on the pages.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hey guys, this is my first fanfiction and I'm really enjoying writing it. But I would like to get better so if you guys could review this, that would be great! I'm open to any suggestions. Feel free to mention things you would change, or things that you would like to see happen. Thanks!

The ringing of Sirius's alarm catapulted him out of bed at exactly 6:00 a.m. Rubbing sleep out of his puffy eyes he got out of bed and walked over to his mirror. He hadn't changed out of his dress clothes last night, and they were crinkled. He had creases in his arms and legs from sleeping in the stiff fabric. He pushed his wild hair straight up, so it was out of his eyes, and unbuttoned his shirt. Catching a better glimpse of himself in the mirror, he saw that his cheek was still red where his mother had slapped him. Shit, he thought. James is going to freak out about this.

Not wanting to think about the endless stream of questions a worried James would unload on him in a few hours, he removed his pants and socks, and went to get in the shower. The scalding water felt good on his puffy face. He stood there for a few minutes, just letting the water soak into him. Today was going to be a good day, he thought to himself. He was going to make it a good day.

After his shower he pulled on clean jeans, a black t shirt, and his old black converse. He had never understood the point of dressing up for the first day of each new semester, but he knew that James would be dressed impeccably. Probably a button down and a vest, or some fancy shit like that. Looking in the mirror to fix his hair, Sirius saw that the hot shower had done nothing to relieve the redness of his cheek. Shit, he thought again. I don't want to deal with this today.

Standing there, he suddenly had an idea. He grabbed his right cheek, the un-slapped one, between his forefinger and thumb and pinched, hard.

"Oww!" He rubbed it. That was harder than he meant. But his idea had worked. Staring back at him from the mirror was a grinning Sirius Black, with not one red cheek, but two. No more interrogation.

His brother ran down the hall shouting, "Come on Sirius, we're going to be late!" Checking the time, and seeing that Regulus was right, he grabbed his book bag off the chair in his room and sprinted down the hall after him.

The two brothers arrived at school only a few minutes before the first bell was scheduled to ring, and by the time they had passed through the front doors, you would not even have known they were brothers. Without speaking to each other, they quickly went their separate ways; Regulus went to stand next to his oily, and shifty friends from the debate team, and Sirius quickly spotted James (in the button down and vest, just as Sirius had predicted) standing next to their other friend Peter and staring at-

"Oh god." Sirius winked at Peter as he slapped James on the back, "School hasn't even officially started yet and you're already pining after Lily Evans again?"

"Huh?" James asked, clearly not paying attention to a word Sirius was saying.

"Wow, maybe this will be the year you actually talk to her, huh?" Sirius remarked and Peter laughed. James had had a crush on Lily Evans for as long as the two of them could remember, but had never actually spoken to her before. They'd been teasing him about her for years, but both Peter and Sirius thought the two would make a pretty cute couple. That is if he ever got enough courage to talk to her.

Sirius had totally forgotten about Lily, and laughed at himself for being worried about what James would think about his red cheek. Clearly the only red James was interested in was Lily's hair, and that would probably be the only red he was interested in for the rest of the day.

Peter grabbed James by the shirt sleeve and Sirius by the collar. "Come on guys, or we're going to be late for english." When they got to the English classroom the three boys took a seat in the back corner of the room. Marlene was sitting with Lily on the other side of the room and she waved at Peter.

"Wait. Peter, you're friends with that girl?" James asked, motioning to Marlene who was now in deep conversation with Lily, her eyebrows moving almost as fast as her mouth.

"Yeah, I guess." Peter replied, unsure of why this had James grinning like it was Christmas day.

"Oh my god. This could not be more perfect." James said, rubbing his hands together. "Sirius," Sirius received a hard elbow to the stomach, "Don't you recognize her?"

Sirius massaged his stomach and looked up. Hmmm, she seemed vaguely familiar, but- and then it hit him. She was the barista that had been working at Starbucks yesterday. The one James thought he had a crush on. "Oh.. Yeah" he said hesitantly, "Wasn't she that girl we saw yesterday?"

"Wasn't she that girls we saw yesterday?" James said, mocking the tone of Sirius's voice. "Yeah right, like you don't remember. Pete, this guy was practically drooling over her. Let's help a brother out, huh? Do you think she'd let us sit with her at lunch?"

"Gee I don't know. Probably. I'll ask her after class." Peter grinned knowingly at James, "You know, Lily will probably be sitting with us too. Is that going to be too much for you to handle?" He asked mockingly.

But James just patted Peter on the back, "Well, in that case, this is going to be the best damn semester there ever was." Peter laughed, but Sirius groaned. Now he was going to have to spend all of lunch pretending to like a girl he wasn't interested in. So much for making today a good day.

The class slowly began to fill until the only available seat was next to Sirius. The teacher, an older, strict woman named Mrs. McGonagall stood at the front of the room waiting for the bell to ring, as the students chatted among themselves. James and Peter were discussing topics James could talk to Lily about during lunch, and Sirius was only half listening. He was thinking about which Starbucks drink he would order after work today, and if that guy would be working tonight.

The bell rang loudly just as the last student stepped into the classroom.

"Well good morning, Mr. Lupin. If you could take a seat, maybe we could start class," McGonagall said sarcastically. She was infamous throughout the school for giving the student's a hard time.

Sirius froze as he instantly recognized "Mr. Lupin." The blond hair, the spot of freckles, the green eyes. His stomach dropped clear to the floor as he realized the other boy was walking directly towards him. Sirius realized that the only available desk was next to his own, and it dawned on him that he was going to be sitting next to this attractive stranger for the entire semester. God, he was going to fail this class.

Remus took his seat beside Sirius, and consciously tried to stop his fingers from shaking. Oh god, Remus thought, does he recognize me?

"Alright, now that everyone is seated, we can begin class." McGonagall started. "This semester, our primary focus will be on the collected works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, specifically his work with Sherlock Holmes. Now the reason we are going to be studying the Sherlock Holmes stories so extensively is that these works are a true example of the intricate relationships a writer can build between his characters, and they also pay homage to the vast amount of detailed work that goes into producing a successful piece of writing." She turned to face the class and was met by only blank stares. Her brow furrowed. "I do understand that it is the first day of the semester, but you will be tested on this material." The many faces staring back at her blinked, but no one made a move. McGonagall sighed, "I'm suggesting that you write this down."

Suddenly the room was alive with the sounds of shuffling papers and zippers as students frantically searched for pens and notebooks. Remus quickly unzipped his book bag and pulled out his notebook. He shoved his hand into the front pocket to pull out a pen, but it was… empty? Did he forget his pens?

"Fuck." Remus muttered but it was louder than he had intended. The class went dead silent, every head turned to stare at the back corner, where Remus sat horrified next to Sirius, Peter, and a laughing James Potter.

"SIRIUS BLACK." McGonagall boomed. "Such language will not be tolerated in this class room. Speak out like that again, and I'll see you in detention." She had been warned that the three boys in the back of her classroom were known for making trouble, but she hadn't expected it to start so soon. She most definitely didn't expect the foul word to have come from the mouth of the pride of almost every teacher in the school: innocent little Remus Lupin. She turned back to the board to continue her lesson.

Now James was laughing harder, Sirius was bright red, and Remus still didn't have a pen. Class continued as usual and Remus left, mortified, and without a single note.


	6. Chapter 6

By the time lunch rolled around, Sirius Black could hardly think about eating, which was quite unusual, considering he had skipped (whether intentionally or unintentionally) his last three meals. But the day he was having was leaving him a nervous wreck, and it wasn't even noon yet. For one, the cutest boy in school sat next to him in english class and unintentionally got him in trouble for swearing. He then spent the next fifty minutes of the period deciding whether or not to offer this Remus guy a pen, since he didn't seem to have one. Because of that, he forgot to take notes for english and now had to decide to ask James for notes, who's handwriting he couldn't read, or Peter, who's notes usually didn't make any sense. And he had been in class, how was he supposed to explain why he didn't take any?

On top of all that, Remus, the mysterious and attractive stranger was in three of his four morning classes, which meant he didn't take notes for history or chemistry either. In history he was trying to decide if he should say hi to him, and in chemistry he was deciding if he _could_ say hi to him without coming off as insane, considering that he had stared at him for a solid three minutes yesterday.

But it was lunch time, and it was not time to think about that. It was time to talk James down from his panic attack about sitting at a table with Lily. And it was time to eat something, or he would probably pass out at work.

"What do I say, what do I say, oh dear god what do I say!?" James was frantically muttering to himself as the three boys walked over to the table where Marlene, Lily, and their friends Alice and Frank sat. Peter patted him on the back.

"Why don't you start with hello, mate?" The smaller boy said, obviously trying to hold back a laugh. They reached the table and took their seats, Peter offering warm hellos to everyone in the group and James and Sirius nodding a bit awkwardly.

"Well," Lily said, eyeing James and Sirius. Sirius could visibly see James gulp, "aren't you going to introduce your friends to us, Peter?"

"Oh yeah yeah, this is Sirius and James." Peter said, gesturing to the both of them.

"Hey!" Sirius flashed his most charming Black Family smile. "Aren't you two in our english class with McGonagall?" he asked motioning to Lily and Marlene.

"Oh!" Lily gasped, "Yeah I think we are! You're the fuck boy aren't you?"

Sirius looked a bit taken aback, "excuse me?" Peter was snorting into his mac and cheese.

"Oh god that sounded a bit harsh," Lily blushed while Marlene cackled and Alice and Frank looked completely lost. "I meant, aren't you the one McGonagall called out for cussing? That's a hell of a way to start the first day of class."

"Oh!" Sirius laughed, "actually that wasn't even me."

"Huh?"

"It was the boy sitting next to me. I just didn't know what to say." Sirius blushed a bit and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Oh my god." Marlene laughed harder, "Remus? Late to class, and drops the f word in the first five minutes? That kid never ceases to amaze me. I work with him you know."

"Oh he knows." James added from the sidelines.

"Oh so you can speak," Lily shot back with a grin, "I was starting to get worried."

James face was suddenly redder than Lily's hair. "yes… um, hello."

Peter snorted again and patted him on the back. "Good man, just like we practiced."

"Sorry about him," Sirius added. " He doesn't get out much." Peter and Sirius dissolved into giggles as James angrily ate his mashed potatoes in front of a chuckling Lily and a confused Marlene.

The group quickly began to integrate, Peter smiling as his oldest friends, James and Sirius, began to mesh perfectly with his new friends, Lily, Marlene, Alice, and Frank. Lily and Sirius became fast friends as Lily threw a pun into the conversation and Sirius hit her back with an even cringier one. Marlene, captain of the school's female soccer team was having a heated debate with James, captain of the school's male soccer team, about defensive technique, punctuated with a few comments from Alice, one of the female team's top players. Frank was complaining to Peter about how the school chef had been replaced and the fries just weren't the same. Collectively, the group made for quite a loud lunch table, exasperated comments and light hearted laughs alike floating over the heads of all the other students in the lunchroom.

One student in particular had just entered the lunch room, unnoticed by the rowdy group. Remus Lupin took his place in the lunch line and cracked open the book he had brought with him while he waited. It was a collection of the Sherlock Holmes stories, their reading assignment for english class. He had already read the thing cover to cover, but it had been around the fourth grade, so he had decided to go ahead and start refreshing his memory. He decided to go chronologically, and start with "A Study in Scarlet." When he was younger he had read them out of order, but now he decided to really go back and understand how the relationship between Holmes and Watson was formed from the beginning. That's what McGonagall was going on about this morning, wasn't she?

By the time Remus had paid for his lunch he was about half way through the second chapter. Quickly spotting a seat in the far corner of the lunchroom where he could continue to read, he started making his way across the room before he was stopped by a "REMUS!" Marlene McKinnon, his nice but kind of crazy coworker was standing on her chair waving her arms like her life depended on it. Once she caught his eye, she plopped back down and motioned for him to come over.

Remus sighed. He had really wanted to finish his book. Marlene was nice, and so were the rest of her friends, but once again Remus was sure that if they really knew him, they wouldn't be this eager to hang out with him. But he had already made eye contact, so he started heading over to her table, when he noticed that she was sitting with _him._

Shit. He thought. Ok, Ok, you can do this, just be cool. But he couldn't help but notice that the other boy was blushing a bit too as he sat down.

"Hey Rem," Marlene started as soon as the boy sat down. "You know Lily, Alice, Peter, and Frank. These two idiots are James and Sirius."

Remus smiled, although he was sure it looked more like a grimace, and waved at the two guys. He knew Sirius was the same guy from work yesterday, and he was pretty sure that James was the other boy he saw with him.

Remus tried to eat his food as nonchalantly as he could with Sirius sitting across the table from him. God why couldn't he just be cool. If he got his head out of his ass for a second he might actually have a chance at being friends with the guy, right? In his position, that was the best he could ask for.

Suddenly, Lily dropped her fork. "Fuck!" she stated as it hit the edge of the table, and landed on the floor.

Without missing a beat, Marlene, Alice and Frank all went, "Sirius!"

Remus went bright red, as everyone at the table besides Sirius and himself cracked up.

"Oh my god, english class. I forgot. I'm so sorry about that." Remus bit his lip anxiously. Why hadn't he said something to McGonagall.

Sirius, also bright red, laughed and said, "It's ok, mate. If it's any consolation, I told them not to do that."

Remus laughed nervously. So much for being cool.

The rest of lunch was also very loud, with not much food being eaten in between conversations. By the end of it, everybody had each other's numbers, and a group chat had been started.

The bell rang for the next class and they all went their separate ways. As Remus walked to math class he couldn't help himself but stare at the name Sirius Black typed in Helvetica across the screen of his phone.

Friends. Now that he could do, right?


	7. Chapter 7

School that day had ended and Sirius Black had been at work for about ten minutes. Nine of those minutes had been spent typing and retyping a single text message on his phone.

(hey)

Nah, that wasn't right. Should he go with (hi)? (hello) was too formal, but did he know the guy enough for a (what's up?)?

He looked up from behind the counter of the Hot Topic. About fifty feet away from him, behind the Starbucks counter with his green apron tied neatly behind his back, stood his new _friend._ Sirius rolled the word _friend_ around his tongue a few times, finally deciding it tasted pretty good. He didn't know if he was gay, he didn't even know if he could be gay, given his family background, but friends… now friends he could do.

But, looking down at his phone again, he slowly deleted the three measly letters he had typed out. He didn't want to scare him off.

However, the store had been dead for about an hour with no signs of business picking up. Coincidentally, Sirius smirked to himself, there was no line at Starbucks, and his new friend looked pretty bored.

Sirius pushed himself up over the counter and hopped out the door, quickly making his way over to the empty Starbucks queue.

Remus and Marlene smiled as he approached. Immediately, and with a smirk, Remus grabbed a cup and cocked his head.

"Let me guess. You want a coffee?" Remus asked, one eyebrow up.

"Um, I'm guessing I'm going to have to be more specific than that." Sirius shot back, his grin wide. "You guys looked bored over here, I thought I would come make a fool of myself again to entertain you."

"Yeah," Marlene grinned, resting her chin on her palm, "What was last time about anyways? You were all stare-y and shit."

Remus and Sirius both blushed, neither quite sure why the other had blushed as well.

"It's cause he's got a crush on you Marlene." James said behind Sirius, earning himself a hard elbow to the stomach.

"I do not!" Sirius exclaimed, maybe a little too quickly. "I mean-" He stuttered, "You're beautiful Marlene, and really nice, and funny, but I just,"

"You just what?" Marlene was laughing at this scene Sirius was making.

"I, uh-" Sirius shot a quick glance at Remus, who was looking at the floor, holding back a laugh. "I, uh. I like somebody else?"

Remus swallowed the urge to look up and see if Sirius was looking at him. He likes somebody else? Why had he said it like a question?

"You dog!" James cried, clapping Sirius on the back, hard. "This is news to me. Who is it?"

"Well," Sirius looked terrified as he ignored his best friend's glare, "I think I've definitely made a sufficient fool of myself. I hope you're entertained, and I'll take that coffee to go please. Caramel latte again?"

Remus turned around to make the coffee while James turned to Guantanamo Bay style techniques to get Sirius to tell him about this new girl, while Marlene laughed her ass off.

He realized Sirius hadn't given him a name to write on his coffee cup, and granted Remus knew his name, but it took all his willpower not to write "Is it me?" on the side of the white cardboard cup.

Instead he wrote "fool :)" and handed the cup across the counter to the bright-red black-haired boy standing across from him.

Sirius grabbed the cup and pivoted quickly on his heel, not daring to look up and see Remus's reaction to his stupid, stupid declaration.

"Come on man, who is it?" James continued to berate Sirius as they walked away from the food court and back over to their respective stores.

"Go back to work James."

"At least give me a hint?" He whined, tugging on Sirius's sleeve, "You're my best friend, man, we tell each other shit like this."

"Go back to work James."

"It's Marlene isn't it."

"Goodbye James." Sirius sipped his coffee and walked back into Hot Topic. What the FUCK had just happened. He saw the word "fool :)" written on the side of his coffee cup. Yes, Remus, he thought. You are completely right.

Back at Starbucks, Marlene was still laughing as the two coworkers watched James follow Sirius all the way back to the Hot Topic.

"Who do you think it is?" She asked slyly.

"I think we're a little too old for these games, Mar." Remus said, starting to clean the cappuccino machine as an excuse to hide his reddening face.

"Ugh, you're no fun." She exclaimed as she flounced off to straighten the display case.

 _Me_. Remus thought _. Am I crazy to think it's me?_

A few hours later, everyone's shift had ended and James and Sirius had stopped by the Starbucks counter so that they could walk out with Remus and Marlene. But Remus and Marlene had to finish cleaning up, so Sirius was left once again to the unique method of torture that is a curious James Potter.

"Come onnnnnnnnn, who is it?" James whined.

"Leave me alone James."

"Just give me the first letter of her name, I can figure it out from there."

"God damn it Remus, how long does it take you to wipe down a fucking counter!?" Sirius yelped, exasperated.

Remus grinned, and started to wipe slower, earning himself a joking smile from Sirius.

"I'm offended that you don't trust me with this, Sir!" James punched him in the shoulder. "I tell you everything, man, everything."

"Yeah I could deal with you telling me a little less," Sirius remarked. "Finally!" Remus and Marlene had finished and joined James and Sirius on the other side of the counter. "Let's go."

The four walked out, Marlene between James and Sirius, trying to distract the former, while Remus quietly cracked a joke, making Sirius laugh louder than he should have.

Remus had only really known these people for about a day, but already he felt like he had found some amazing people. He never wanted them to leave. But when he was all alone again, in his car, he had to choke back tears as his phone buzzed with an alert: _Time for fuzeon injection,_ and he was left to wonder…

What if they knew?

19 parking spaces down, Sirius Black got into his own car, having to mentally restrain himself from slapping himself upside the head. Why had he said that? He liked somebody else. He didn't even really know if that was true. Feelings like that didn't have to mean anything right. And they were friends now. Friends. Not anything else.

He shoved those feelings to the back of his mind and groaned. Now, on top of the effort of keeping those feelings locked away, he was going to have to endure the endless stream of questions from James about this mysterious _girl_ he supposedly liked. The guy was relentless.

He supposed he could just date Marlene for a bit. But if the break up was nasty it could break up their new group of friends. James would kill him if they had to find a lunch table that wasn't Lily Evans. And besides. He didn't want to date Marlene. He wanted his dick up Remus Lupin's ass. At the thought of that, his pants got a little tighter. He looked down. Ok maybe he was gay. No! Those thoughts weren't supposed to be here. He had just put them away.

Do you think Remus Lupin would suck my dick, he thought.

And the pants got tighter.

Shit, he couldn't show up to family dinner with a boner that astronauts could see from space.

I wonder what Remus kisses like, he thought again. The pants were uncomfortably tight now, as his hard dick pressed up against the rough fabric of his skinny jeans. Shit. Stop thinking about this, man.

Or….he thought, just keep thinking about it until it…resolved itself.

His thoughts immediately turned to Remus. The way he had gotten red at lunch, the way his hair looked when he was looking at the floor, the way the word fuck had rolled off his seemingly innocent tongue during english class. His pants were extremely tight now, and Sirius moved his hips a little, gripping the armrest of his car seat and leaning his head back _. I bet he's a great kisser_ , Sirius thought, moving his hips in the other direction _. I bet he's the kind of guy that goes for tongue on the first kiss because he knows he's good at it._ Another slight move of the hips and a small moan escaped the boy's lips _. If he's good with tongue when kissing, I bet he's great with tongue down-_ Sirius gasped a little as his pants suddenly fit better.

Well, he though as he started the car, he wouldn't have a boner at dinner anymore. But he did really need to change his pants.

The longer he drove home, the more embarrassed Sirius got. _He's my friend for god's sake. I can't just do that in the mall parking lot like I'm some backwoods whore. And I'm not fucking gay. I'm just…pent up. That's it._

There would be no more of those thoughts, he told himself. _It's all just hormones. Nothing more._ Sirius couldn't even imagine the bruise he would get if his mother found out he liked guys.

Did he even like guys though? Or did he just like this guy?

Sirius couldn't imagine how fast his new friendship would end if Remus ever found out what he had just done. Or what he felt.

 _YOU DON"T FEEL ANYTHING THOUGH. Remember that._

Pulling in to his drive way, he hopped out of his car, using his book bag to cover the wet spot on his pants. He quickly hurried upstairs, changed into appropriate Black family dinner attire, and slid into his seat at exactly 6:15.


	8. Chapter 8

Remus woke up with his face stuck to a page of Sherlock Holmes, and his reading light still on. Huh. He must have fallen asleep in the middle of "A Study in Scarlet" last night. He peeled the page off his face, and stumbled into the bathroom to wash his face. Looking up in the mirror he could see that his hair was a mess, but he was too tired to deal with it so he just ran his fingers through the tangles quickly and left it at that.

Back in his bedroom, face washed and teeth brushed, he threw on some jeans and a slightly oversized long sleeve t shirt. It was warm outside, but the inside of the school was always freezing, and Remus tended to be slightly cold wherever he was anyways.

Downstairs, his mother had a plate of toast and orange juice at his spot at the table. His dad was reading the newspaper, and his mother was rushing around trying to find her other shoe. "Don't forget your injection, sweetheart!" she shouted over her shoulder as she rifled underneath the couch cushions.

Of course. How could he forget. Sitting down, and holding a piece of toast in his mouth, he rolled up his sleeve and injected a dosage of fuzeon underneath the skin of his arm. He heard his father make a little grunt behind his newspaper. Things hadn't really been the same between them since the diagnosis.

"Morning dad." Remus said, though it was muffled because of the toast in his mouth.

"Good morning. School going well?" His father peered over the top of the newspaper, not really looking at Remus, but rather looking at the empty space above his head.

"Well today is only the second day, but so far so good." He finished his toast in one bite, shoved his Sherlock book into his book bag and stood up. "Better get going." He started to leave.

Hope Lupin, who had finally found her shoe but hadn't put it on yet, ran with a limp across the living room to pull her son into a hug. "Have fun at school darling."

"Alright mom. See you tonight."

And with that, Remus Lupin left his house, got in his car, and drove to school.

Walking through the front doors of school, Remus's eyes were assaulted by the image of Marlene, once again, waving her arms at him like her life depended on it. God did she know she looked like a crazy person when she did that? But he smiled and headed through the crowd to his friends.

"Alright, Rem you have to help us," Marlene started, "Lily has this stupid idea-"

"It's not stupid!" Lily gasped.

"Yeah yeah," James joked. "Let's let Remus be the judge of that."

"Well I'd have to hear it first." Remus replied, confused as to why everyone else had to talk all at once.

"Ok well you see-" Alice started but was quickly cut off by Lily.

"Ali hush, you're not even in our class." Lily quipped. "It's my idea, I'll tell it."

"Gee fine, go ahead then."

"Ok Rem, so you know how english class is like so boring?" Lily started. Remus was trying to figure out when everybody had decided to start calling him Rem. He nodded though so she would continue her story. "Yeah, it's like mind numbing. Well I was thinking, what if we could pass a note. Like a game. I'll start it, and we have to get it to every one of us in the class without McGonagall noticing. It'd be fun, right?" She looked at him expectantly.

"That's the big idea? You wanna pass a note?" Remus asked, a little confused.

"Thank you!" James said, "I told you it was stupid."

"Come on James, do you really want to sit there for an hour while McGonagall drones on about Sherlock Holmes?" Sirius chimed in. "At least this gives us something to do."

"You could pay attention," Frank chuckled.

"Thank you Frank," James said, "And _you_ -" He jabbed his index finger into Sirius's chest. "I am not speaking to you until you tell me."

"Ooh, tells you what?" Lily asked.

Marlene laughed. "This again? Sirius has a crush on someone and he won't tell James who it is."

"Forget the note, let's play this game!" Lily smirked.

"No." Sirius stated flatly, all of a sudden looking extremely uncomfortable, "That's beside the point. Are we doing the note thing or not? Remus?" Sirius pushed a shoulder length strand of his black hair behind his ear and looked at Remus, waiting for an answer.

"Um sure? Let's do the note thing. Are there rules to this or what?" Remus decided he wasn't going to do very well in this english class if he was friends with these people.

"Yes!" Lily jumped a little. "I win!" She stuck her tongue out at James.

"God" James grinned, "how old are you? Hurry up and make up the rules for your stupid game."

"Alright, alright." Lily bunched her hair up behind her ear. "I'll start. The note has to make it to each of us. When you get the note, you have to write something, and then pass it to the next person."

Peter had his hand raised. "Question."

Marlene sighed, "This is not that hard of a concept, Pete."

"I just want to know if it matters what we write." Peter glared.

"No, who cares, just write something." Lily sighed, "Anyways, if you get caught, you lose. Haha and probably get detention or something. I don't know."

"Everyone down for this?" Marlene asked, her arms crossed.

"Oh it is on." James said, crossing his own arms.

"And… you've brought out his competitive side." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Good job girls, it's about to get ugly."

With their plan in mind, however idiotic it might have been, the gang said goodbye to Frank and Alice and headed off to english class, running war strategies in their heads.

Sliding into their respective seats in the english classroom, Lily winked at all of them, laughing when Sirius winked back as flamboyantly as he could.

"Let's get started," McGonagall said curtly as she swept into the room.

"Yes, lets." Remus muttered under his breath, making Sirius choke back a laugh.

"Is something funny, Mr. Black?" McGonagall asked, furious that her lesson had been interrupted no more than a few moments after it began. Sirius tried to turn his laugh into a cough.

"No," he rasped, "just something caught in my throat."

"Well then," and McGonagall continued to tell the mostly attentive class about the early childhood of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Lily, was furiously scribbling something onto a scrap of paper. When she was done, she folded it up, waited till McGonagall had her back turned, and lobbed it at the back of Marlene's head, where the tiny scrap of paper got stuck in her hair. She felt it, though and reached around to pull it out. Lily grinned. She hadn't gotten caught.

Marlene unfolded the paper to read the words **whoever gets caught buys the rest of us lunch ;)**. She turned around and winked at Lily, and then wrote her own message. Passing it was a little bit harder though. Peter was next and he was all the way across the classroom. Suddenly she had an idea. She scrunched the tiny piece of paper into the palm of her hand and dropped her pencil, breaking its lead underneath the heel of her shoe.

"Mrs. McGonagall?" Marlene innocently raised her hand, "My pencil lead broke, can I go to the sharpener?"

"Quickly please." McGonagall replied, and continued on with her lesson.

Marlene flashed a smile at her friends and stood up. She walked to the sharpener, slyly dropping a crumpled ball of paper on Peter's desk when she passed him. Peter grinned and flattened it out to read **you're on** in Marlene's loopy scrawl one line underneath Lily's challenge. Peter thought for a bit and wrote a note of his own under Marlene's.

 **Most creative pass gets free dessert too :P**

Now he had to take his own challenge, he realized. James was next and sitting right next to him, so he would have to get extra creative if he was going to get that free dessert. Looking around the room he finally came to an idea. James was wearing a pocket tee today, and the pocket was open just a smidge. He crumpled up the paper as small as he could he flicked it up a little and it flew perfectly into the pocket of James's t shirt.

"Yes!" Peter gasped.

"Something you'd like to share, Mr. Pettigrew?" McGonagall was starting to become confused. She could have sworn she saw something fly through the air a moment ago. But Peter meekly shook his head so she continued to drone on about the formal education of Conan Doyle.

James already had the note flattened on his desk, scribbling away. He balled the note up again and caught Sirius's eye. Sirius winked and opened his mouth, so James threw it in.

Lily wrinkled her nose in disgust and Marlene groaned as the tiny ball of paper landed perfectly on Sirius's tongue. He dropped it on his desk and unfolded the slightly moist ball to read **I want a brownie then** in James's untidy scrawl. Sirius smirked and wrote his own message.

Now all he had to do was pass it off to Remus. He had no idea how. Eventually he just went with the first idea that popped into his head.

Remus's desk was immediately adjacent to his and very close. Leaning over slightly, so McGonagall wouldn't see, he pushed the ball of paper into the corner of Remus's jean pocket, gave him a smile and a wink, and straightened back up.

 _Hot damn,_ Remus thought as the boy's thumb left the corner of his hip. What the hell was he supposed to make of that. He pulled the note out of his pocket and read **yeah right, like you'd win.** Sirius had thin, surprisingly neat cursive handwriting.

Remus couldn't think of anything to write. Finally he decided on a simple **I take it back, this was stupid** and dropped it on the floor. Lily was only a couple rows of desks away from him so he decided to kick the tiny ball of paper over to her. With a flick of his ankle he sent the ball flying, only to stop at the foot of McGonagall herself.

Remus felt his heart stop as he watched McGonagall bend over and pick the scrap up. Lily's eyes were huge, Marlene was avoiding eye contact, Peter was biting his nail, and for some reason, James was holding onto to Sirius's arm.

McGonagall read the note carefully, then finally looked up and spoke to Remus. "Looks like you'll be buying lunch today, Mr. Lupin. You also bought you and your friend tickets to detention this afternoon. Mrs. Evans, Mrs. McKinnon, Mr. Pettigrew, Mr. Potter, and Mr. Black, I will see you all alongside Mr. Lupin at 4:00 this afternoon."

And with that, McGonagall continued her lesson.


	9. Chapter 9

Remus plopped the pizza box down in the middle of the lunch table. "You're a terrible person Lily Evans."

"Yeah, got all your friends detention in one day, how does that make you feel?" Sirius mocked as he grabbed a piece of pizza.

"Not all of her friends" Frank said from one end of the lunch table, his arm around Alice.

"Excuse you, technically it was Remus who got us caught! Why isn't anyone mad at him?" Lily grabbed her own slice of pizza, glaring at all of her laughing friends.

"Because it was your idea, idiot," James laughed. "By the way, where's my brownie, man?"

"Right here." Remus held out his hand, but snatched it away when James tried to grab it.

"What the hell?"

"I just think we should vote on the matter of most creative pass, before I just give it to you." Remus said smiling.

"You don't think mine was the best?" James pantomimed a knife in his chest, "I'm hurt, Rem, I'm hurt."

"Yeah that's right." Marlene chimed in. "I mean everyone knows the brownie should go to me."

"Oh screw you Marlene," Peter said, reaching for the brownie. "I threw it in James's pocket. It was very cool."

"Oh shut up, that is so not as cool as the mouth thing!" James whined.

"Um the mouth thing was gross." Lily said, wrinkling up her nose.

"And besides mate, it was completely my idea, not yours." Sirius patted James on the back, "Better luck, next time."

"Oh there will be no next time" Marlene, Peter, and Remus all said at once. Lily huffed and crossed her arms.

"You all had fun, and you know it." She pouted.

"Alright," Remus said, "But the fact remains that no one has claimed the brownie yet. Should we vote?"

The group nodded in anticipation. "There's a four way tie between Marlene, Peter, James and Sirius. Anyone who thinks Marlene should win, raise their hand." Only Marlene raised her hand.

"Oh, screw you guys."

"Anyone who thinks Peter should win, raise their hand." Only Peter raised his hand. "I have a feeling I know where this is going," Remus chuckled. "Anyone who thinks James should win?" James raised his hand, "and Sirius?" This time Sirius raised his hand.

"Well that certainly settled it." Frank chuckled.

"I guess it's up to you and me, Rem," Lily said.

"Alright, excuse us a second while the jury decides," Remus said, scooting closer to Lily. Both of them turned around.

"This is a difficult decision." Lily said, smiling.

"Oh yeah. I always get hungry making tough decisions like these." Remus smiled, slowly unwrapping the brownie from its cellophane packaging. He broke it in half and offered half to her, "snack? You know, while we think about it."

"Of course," Lily took her half and smiling, they both shoved their respective pieces into their mouths, whole. Turning back around with their mouths full, Lily smiled and said, "We win" through a mouthful of brownie.

"oh come on!" James cried, and Sirius chucked his napkin at Remus's head.

"You guys are the worst," Sirius was trying very hard to hold back his laughter so he could act angry, but finally gave in, letting his laughter roll out of him in waves, until he had tears in his eyes.

Remus and Lily were laughing so hard they couldn't swallow their prize, and Marlene was cackling as she watched them try. Alice had her head on Frank's shoulder as the couple watched their insane friends lose their shit over a brownie. Peter was too busy trying to finish the pizza before anyone could grab some.

Finally the laughter subsided, Remus and Lily could swallow, and everyone else could breathe again.

"I guess we all better call in sick to work," Marlene suggested. "It'd be kind of a surprise if none of us showed up." The rest of the gang agreed and the rest of the lunch was spent faking coughs on the phone with their bosses, and frantically trying to bribe their coworkers into covering their shifts.

"I know it's your only day off this week, but" Marlene tried her best impression of the flu, "I just can't ethically serve people coffee when I know my snot could be in their drinks." She coughed again, but only to cover up the sound of Sirius's laughter at her terrible performance. "Thank you so much, Katie. I really owe you one." She dissolved into a fake coughing fit as she hung up the phone.

James began slow-clapping. "That was brilliant. Revolutionary. Somebody get this girl an Oscar!"

"Oh shut up, it worked."

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch and everyone went their separate ways: Remus to Math, Peter and James to History, Sirius and Lily to Latin, and Marlene, Alice, and Frank to Chemistry.

Classes passed mostly uneventful, and at 4:00 sharp everyone but Alice and Frank were standing nervously outside of McGonagall's classroom.

"She's not going to like… beat us, is she?" James asked quietly. Despite his rambunctious reputation, James had never actually gotten detention before.

"That's not legal." Remus stated matter-of-factly at the exact same time that Sirius mumbled, "Don't worry, it's not that bad."

Sirius shrank up against the wall a bit as his friends looked at him questioningly. Sometimes he forgot that not everyone's parents behaved the same as his. "I mean… I would imagine it's not that bad. How could I possibly know?"

"I commend the lot of you for at least being on time. I have to admit it's a surprise." McGonagall's tall figure loomed over them, where she stood holding a stack of papers. She unlocked the door of her classroom and let them all inside. They all took seats next to each other, all of them a little surprised when McGonagall didn't say anything regarding the matter.

She handed them each three sheets of notebook paper and a pencil. "Since you all are oh so fond of writing notes, today you will be writing lines." Peter immediately picked up his pencil and began to write, much to the dismay of Mrs. McGonagall. "I haven't told you what the line will be yet, Mr. Pettigrew."

Peter looked embarrassed and sheepishly started to erase the top of his paper, where he had written the word "lines" about five times already.

"You will write 'Paying attention in class is crucial to my education' 100 times each. When you have finished, you will place your work on my desk and are free to go."

The room was quiet for a few seconds, with only the sound of pencils lightly scratching paper. Suddenly Remus mumbled "I'll race you guys" and everyone started scribbling faster. McGonagall put her head in her hands.

Lily won.


	10. Chapter 10

Sirius could feel his stomach hit the floor of his car when he rolled into his driveway at 4:30 after detention and saw that his parent's cars were also there. What were they doing home? He knew his father's job at a very prominent law firm allowed him to take time off as he pleased, considering that he was a major partner, but if anything his father preferred to be at work than at home. And his mother, a supreme justice, would rather sentence herself to a life in prison than spend a second more with her family than she had to. There could only be one reason for them to have come home early.

Sirius gulped. The school didn't call home about detention, did they? His hands shook as he turned his keys out of the ignition. He could feel his knees weaken with each step he took towards his own front door. He opened the door, hands still shaking, and his breath caught as he saw his mother and father both waiting at the base of the stairs.

"Hi mom-"

"Don't call me that." Walburga Black growled as she glared at her son. "I was pulled out of a very important case to hear that my oldest son had been given DETENTION on the seCOND FUCKING DAY OF THE SCHOOL YEAR."

Sirius flinched as some of his mother's spit hit him in the eye. She was a few inches from his face and absolutely seething. Raising her hand, she slapped him clear across the face, causing him to stumble into the side table.

"We discussed this." She walked over to her son's half crumpled body, "You told us you would do better. Blacks are not liars. Blacks are not delinquents."

"I'm sorry." He whispered feebly, trying to make his knees strong enough to stand.

Walburga grabbed an umbrella from the beside the front door and swung it under the back of his knees. Sirius landed hard on his ass, crying out as pain shot from his tailbone to the top of his spine.

"Sorry doesn't change anything." She growled. "Sorry doesn't mean you'll behave, Sorry won't get you a degree, and Sorry won't bring pride to this family."

Sirius tried to get back up, but his mother sent him flying back down with a well-timed punch to the jaw. Sirius could feel his mouth filling with blood, as one of his molars embedded itself into his gum.

"This is not Black behavior." Walburga's demeanor was wild and filled with rage but her voice was terrifyingly calm. "Keep this behavior up, and you won't be a black for much longer."

Sirius tried to answer, tried to apologize, but the words wouldn't come out through the blood which had spilled over his lip and was now dripping down his chin.

With the first drip, Walburga lost it, "KEEP YOUR FUCKING BLOOD OFF MY FLOOR!" Sirius's father, Orion, who had been watching the debacle from the sidelines, stepped up and put a hand on his wife's shoulder.

"Walburga, that's enough. Go up to your room boy, so we don't have to look at you." He didn't even look at Sirius as he said this, he just pulled his wife to his chest to try and calm her down. Sirius wiped his chin with his arm and tried to stand up, trying hard to ignore the pain in his legs and back. He made it half way up the stairs before he tripped, banging his shoulder hard on the wooden steps. The tears in his eyes were making it impossible to see.

Even all the way up in his room, Sirius could still hear his mother's shouts from downstairs.

"He's a disgrace Orion!" His father's reply was muted.

"I want him out! I can't deal with this. The second FUCKING DAY. He didn't last TWO DAYS!"

Sirius closed his eyes, a flood of tears squeezing out and mixing with the blood on his shirt and bathroom counter. He tried as hard as he could not to listen. Wiping some tears away, he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror.

His shoulder length black hair was matted to the side of his face, stuck there by blood and tears. Blood was covering his chin and neck and his eyes were bloodshot. His chest ached with every heaving sob he took and his lungs ached as he inhaled some of his own blood. He coughed blood out into the sink and opened his mouth.

In the back of his mouth he could see his right molar pushed almost half an inch left of where it was supposed to be. After spitting out some more blood he reached in and wiggled it with his fingers. It came right out, leaving a hole where it once was and revealing a gash in the side of his gum, which explained the insane amount of blood. He placed the mangled tooth on the counter, and rinsed his mouth out with a little water. Hopefully the bleeding would die down soon.

He had stopped crying, and could breathe a little better. He needed to clean himself up now. He pulled off his soaked, blood stained shirt and noticed a little tear where he had banged up against the table in the front hall. He threw the shirt away, took off his pants and hopped in the shower.

The hot water felt good on his aching back and legs. He washed the blood off his face and hair, wincing every time anything touched his jaw. He could feel a bruise forming on his tailbone, and felt a cut just above his left knee, where the metal spoke on top of the umbrella had broken his skin.

It wasn't until the end of the shower that he even realized that he'd started crying again. The adrenaline from the situation finally wearing off, Sirius realized just how much everything hurt, and sunk to the floor of the shower with the weight of it all.

His own mother had told him not to call her mom. His father watched without flinching as she beat the shit out of him. He was a disgrace. It hadn't even been a good reason to get detention. It wasn't worth this. Nothing was worth this.

He cried harder. He didn't want to be a Black. No one wanted him to be a Black, especially his mother. Blacks were smart, and important, and by-the-book. Sirius collapsed in on himself as he told himself he wasn't any of those things. All those things that Blacks were supposed to be, good things by any standards, and he wasn't a single one of them.

 _He's a disgrace._ His mother's ran through his head and he found that he agreed with them. He was shit at school, something his parents and Regulus had all been brilliant at. He would never be a lawyer like his father, or a judge like his mother. Even Regulus, who was two years behind him in school, regularly got offered summer internships, or prestigious programs. No one ever asked Sirius to be a part of anything like that. I mean why would they, he thought. His grades were nothing to brag about and he worked at the mall.

And, Sirius knew, he was a lot of things but by-the-book was definitely not one of them. He never seemed to do anything the way his parents wanted. Normal people don't try to kill themselves twice before their fourteenth birthday. Normal people don't question their sexuality as much as he did either. Normal people weren't this dramatic, normal people weren't this crazy.

Sirius had been in the shower so long that the water had run cold. He still sat on the floor of the tub, crying, and now shivering. He stood up, wiped his face off, and turned the faucet off. Getting out, he dried off, and threw on a pair of sweatpants and a clean t shirt and socks.

He knew he didn't have to put on dinner attire. After a fight like that, he wasn't getting fed tonight.

His stomach growled so loud, he almost didn't hear the soft knock on the door. He opened it to find Regulus on the other side. His little brother flinched at the sight of his bruised and swollen face.

"Mom just wants to let you know that you're not going to school tomorrow." He muttered.

"Is there a reason?" He asked wearily.

"Yeah but I don't want to say."

"Just spit it out."

"She doesn't want anybody to judge her for the way she decides to punish her children. It's bad publicity." Regulus played with his hands, nervously.

"God knows we don't want a scandal." Sirius replied apathetically, and shut the door in Regulus's face.

He fell back on his bed and tried to will himself to die.


	11. Chapter 11

Remus and Lily were standing in the front hall of the school. Both of them had gotten to school a little early today, and were now arguing over which television adaption of Sherlock Holmes was the best.

"I just don't understand how you don't think it's Robert Downey Jr. Those films were genius!" Lily cried.

"I agree that they were good. It's just that BBC's adaption is so much better!" Remus said, "It's modern, it's relatable, its-"

"But Robert Downey Jr. is Iron Man! You can't get cooler than Iron Man!" Lily was waving her hands now and looking quite ridiculous.

"Wha-" Remus was confused, "How does that even matter? Iron man isn't even in those movies."

"You just don't get it," Lily said just as James walked up to join their group with Peter in tow.

"What are we arguing about?" James asked casually sliding himself next to Lily, fully prepared to take her side.

"Just which film adaption of Sherlock Holmes is best." Lily replied, crossing her arms.

"Oh definitely the Veggie Tales one! So funny but wholesome!" James smiled. Remus and Lily both recoiled in disgust, and that comment started a whole new argument which Alice, Frank and Marlene eventually walked up on, rightfully confused.

Finally, after a few horrid minutes of James fervently defending Veggie Tales, the first bell rang signaling it was time to go to class. Lily, James, Peter, Marlene, and Remus got halfway to McGonagall's classroom before Remus suddenly stopped walking.

"Where's Sirius?" He asked, stopping the group in their tracks. Everyone looked around.

"I don't know." James said, kind of worried looking.

"Should we wait for him? Maybe he's just running late." Peter chirped. They stood there for a second, nobody making a sound. Finally Marlene spoke up.

"We can't be late to McGonagall's class. We'd get detention again." Everyone nodded in agreement, and slowly they continued their journey to english class, each person occasionally throwing worried glances behind them.

English class started as usual. Today, they were given a list of vocabulary words, and assigned chapters 1 through 3 of "A Study In Scarlet" to read by next Monday. Most of the group were trying hard to pay attention, as it was crucial to their education, mind you, but James couldn't hear a thing McGonagall was saying.

Every couple of seconds he would look up at the clock, and then down at the empty seat next to him. He hadn't written down a single note from class, and all the nails on his left hand were bitten down to the stub.

James knew that Sirius's parents had some very unconventional methods of punishing their children, although he didn't know that Sirius had never let on how bad it actually was. Still he knew enough to know that the only reason Mr. and Mrs. Black would allow Sirius to skip school was if he was physically incapacitated in a way that reflected poorly on themselves. Education was important in the Black family, he knew, and Sirius had been forced to come to school with the flu, the stomach bug, and many other debilitating sicknesses before. He was never late, he never just skipped. And no, he didn't always do well in school, but he was always there. The last time he had missed school, he came back in the next day with his arms bandaged, and wouldn't talk to anyone, not even James and Peter. James didn't know what had happened but he knew it wasn't good.

Remus quickly took note of James's odd behavior. He could tell that this was not a topic Remus would be bringing up at lunch. James's was whiter than the blank sheet of notebook paper on his desk. Remus slowly began to get worried as well. Was Sirius ok?

After English Remus took a picture of his notes and texted them to James.

James quickly texted back (You didn't have to do that)

(Don't worry about it)

(Thank you)

It was third period by the time Sirius woke up, his head pounding and his whole body aching. Sunlight shone through his window, warming the small of his back. He groaned as he sat up, his memories of the night before slowly coming back to him.

He got up, groaning, and went to look at himself in the mirror. His jaw was still purple and swollen, but it had gone down a good amount since last night. There didn't seem to be any other visible signs of last night, at least other signs that he couldn't cover with clothing.

He pulled on a t shirt and sweatpants, and headed downstairs to make himself breakfast. He couldn't have been more relieved to find that the house was empty. Regulus was at school and his parents were at work.

Walking into the kitchen, he pulled out a bowl from the cabinet. He walked over to the pantry to get cereal but it was… padlocked? Confused, he turned to the fridge only to find that it was padlocked too. Were they trying to starve him out?

Hurt and furious, Sirius stomped back up the stairs. If they didn't want him to be a Black then he wasn't going to be a Black. Finally he could do something his parents wanted. He tried to stop the stinging of tears he could feel behind his eyes. He didn't care, he didn't care, _he didn't care._

He pulled on black jeans and a black t shirt and grabbed his Hot Topic lanyard. He stomped back down the stairs, grabbed his keys off the table in the foyer and stormed outside.

He got in his car, slammed the door, turned on the ignition and… just sat there. What was he even doing? He didn't have work until 4:00, and he couldn't go to school like this. Where was he supposed to go?

His stomach growled. Oh right. He should probably go get food.

There was a gas station about a mile away from where Sirius lived, so he decided to drive there. Walking through the aisles he picked up a candy bar and went to get some shitty gas station coffee. Putting his things down on the counter in front of the cashier he said, "Can I get some Newports please?" He desperately needed a cigarette. The cashier grabbed a blue box off the shelf behind him and handed them to Sirius.

"Can I get anything else for you, sir?"

"Nah that's it." He paused, "Actually, there is one more thing. I'm gay."

The cashier looked a bit confused, "Not sure there's anything I can do about that."

Sirius blushed. "No, I know, it's just I've never said it out loud before." Suddenly very embarrassed, he slapped a twenty dollar bill down on the counter. "Keep the change," he mumbled, and rushed out the door, the cheap bell tinkling behind him.

Sitting in his car, breathing hard, Sirius looked at himself in his rearview mirror. Gay? When had he decided that. When had he decided to say it? The thing that shocked Sirius most was that he wasn't all that surprised. But this revelation of his hadn't been a conscious decision.

Thinking to himself, Sirius decided that yeah it must be true. He had never really felt the way he was supposed to about girls. Yeah they were pretty, and kissing was fun, but he didn't understand the way other guys talked about girls. Like the world revolved around them or something. It always seemed that the way all his other friends felt about girls, he felt about guys.

But just because Sirius was apparently ready to admit this to himself, and to some random gas station cashier, didn't mean he was ready to admit it to his friends just yet. He definitely wasn't ready to admit it to his family. He knew exactly how his parents would react, but what scared him more was that he didn't know how some other people would react. What would James and Peter think. Would he still be welcome at James's house? What would his newer friends like Marlene and Lily and Alice and Frank think? What if they didn't want him to sit next to them at lunch anymore?

And Remus. Oh god, what would Remus think? Even in the light of this sudden declaration, Sirius knew that he would never admit to Remus how he had been feeling. Remus was a great guy, and above all else Sirius didn't want to make him uncomfortable. Besides, he really enjoyed their friendship and knew that he would rather have that, than do something to jeopardize this great thing they had.

So he was gay. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. I guess that's that, then.


	12. Chapter 12

Sirius got to work about thirty minutes early and offered to finish out the shift of the girl who worked before him. She happily obliged so Sirius punched in, and took his usual spot behind the counter.

The bruise on his jaw had faded to a light gray, but his mouth was still throbbing. The half a pack of cigarettes he had stress-smoked earlier probably hadn't helped that.

Nobody was in the store, so he just sat behind the counter staring off into space. He was glad to be at work, but he couldn't help but wonder if the front door would be locked tonight, just like the pantry was. His anxiety, however, was quickly interrupted by a frantic James Potter who had just smashed through the entrance of Hot Topic.

"Here," James slammed a lunch box down on the counter and started pulling random things out. "I brought you pineapple. It's supposed to help heal bruises. Eat all of it." He shoved a small Tupperware container of fruit into Sirius's bewildered hands. "I also brought vinegar. Rubbing that on bruises is supposed to help too." A small glass bottle was slammed onto the counter. "Here's some Ibuprofen. It's a pain killer, but it's not a blood thinner like Advil, so it shouldn't make it worse." A small Ziploc bag full of tiny red pills crinkled when James pressed it into Sirius's palm. "You can have one every four to six hours."

"Thanks Ja-"

"Shut up, I'm not done." He looked a Sirius a bit and sighed. "I don't know how much you've eaten today, so I brought you a water bottle and a sandwich." Both were brought out of the lunch box. "You need to be hydrated, so I actually brought you two water bottles. And I'm working the register all afternoon, and I can see you from there. Both of these better be gone by the time we leave, or there will be hell to pay."

Finally the lunch box was empty. James looked up at his bruised friend, who was still looking down at him with bewilderment.

"Thanks James. I don't know what to say."

"You shouldn't be saying anything. Your mouth should be full." James replied. Suddenly he sniffed. "You smell like smoke. Have you been smoking?"

"I had a couple. It's been a rough-"

"SIRIUS?!" James cried. "Are you trying to die?"

"Would it be the worst thing?" Sirius replied coolly.

"Yes, you fucker." James growled. "I've had it with your self-deprecating bullshit. Eat your fucking pineapple and get better."

With that he stalked out of Hot Topic, all the way to his spot behind the register at the sports store. Sirius, still holding a container of pineapple, and a small bag of pills, did everything he could to hold back the flood of grateful tears welling up behind his eyes. He sniffed, took out a pill, and washed it down with one of the water bottles James gave him. God, what would he do without him.

When he looked up a few minutes later, he saw that Remus and Marlene had arrived at Starbucks. Remus caught his eye and waved. Sirius looked behind him a little confused. He was waving at him right? He waved back and Remus smiled.

A few seconds later, Sirius's phone buzzed.

Remus: (hey)

Sirius quickly texted back.

Sirius: (hey)

Remus: (Are you ok? James seemed pretty worried about you)

Sirius: (Yeah I'm great. He's just paranoid)

Remus: (ok)

Suddenly a flood of pictures was sent to Sirius's phone, all of them seeming to be of notebook paper.

Remus: (here's my notes from today if you want them. I know I'm not in all of your classes, but I figured this would help)

Sirius was taken aback. Even James hadn't thought to give him the school work he missed today.

Sirius: (thank you)

Remus: (don't mention it :) )

Sirius looked up at Starbucks again. Remus smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

With that, both boys went back to work, which was pretty uneventful, aside from the lovely texts Sirius would get from James every couple of minutes.

James: (You haven't had a sip of water in over five minutes. Unacceptable.)

James: (You can take your next Ibuprofen now if you want)

James: (Did you eat all the pineapple? I can't see the Tupperware)

James: (Try the vinegar on your bruise)

James: (Are you ok? You look tired)

Sirius: (I'm fine James)

James: (Just checking. Don't be rude)

Sirius: (How was that rude?)

James: (Don't talk back to me. Drink your water)

Finally the end of their shifts rolled around, and James headed over to Hot Topic to pick up Sirius.

"You ready to go?" Sirius asked James as he entered, but the other boy didn't say a word. Instead, he walked over to the counter to survey the supplies he had brought earlier. He picked up both empty water bottles, and nodded happily. Then he opened the Tupperware to find that the pineapple was all gone, and looked at the Ziploc bag to find that the sandwich was gone as well.

"Good, good. Yes, I'm ready." The two boys left together and headed over to Starbucks to meet Remus and Marlene on their way out.

Marlene greeted the two boys in her usual bubbly manner. Remus threw a smile over his shoulder as he finished cleaning up, the smile faltering a little when he saw the bruise on Sirius's face.

"Hey so, school's like barely started, and we don't really have any homework yet. Did you guys want to come over and watch a movie or something tonight?" Marlene threw out, "Lily and Alice are coming. Frank's got work till midnight though."

James agreed the second Marlene spoke Lily's name. Remus and Sirius were a little bit more hesitant.

"I'd have to ask my mom. She's kind of weird about school nights." Remus said, taking his apron off and hanging it up behind the counter.

"Go ahead and call her then! We can wait." Marlene said. This was the first time Remus hadn't flat out said no to one of her propositions to hang out. Remus stepped off to the side to call his mom, while Marlene turned to Sirius, expectantly.

"I don't know…" Sirius stuttered. He didn't know what would happen if he didn't go home tonight.

"Come on man. I think it would be good for you to get out of that house." James muttered the second part a little quieter, trying to be discreet. He was right. Sirius didn't think anyone would miss him anyways. He sent a quick text to his brother.

Sirius: (Tell the parents I'm not coming home tonight. Got school stuff to do)

"I'm happy to come, Marlene." He replied, deciding he didn't care what his parents thought.

Remus walked back over. "I can come too," he said a little nervously. He had known his mom would agree, but was secretly hoping she wouldn't. He had his fuzeon injection in his backpack which he was supposed to take in a few minutes, but he wasn't sure how to do that at Marlene's house without raising any eyebrows. But they were his friends, and god damn it he wanted to watch a movie with them, like a normal kid.

"All right then!" Marlene said, furiously clicking away at her phone. "I'm sending you guys my address. I'll see you there in a few minutes!"

The group walked out together and all got in their separate cars.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I'm sorry this chapter has taken me so long to update. Thanks to everyone on here who's either read or reviewed my story. I know it's long and incredibly slow-burn. I really appreciate it and I can't believe anyone's reading this in the first place.

James, Sirius, and Remus all got to Marlene's house around the same time and met together in her driveway. Marlene had called Peter on her way home to invite him, but he was stuck babysitting his little sister. Her house was small, but in a cozy, well-lit neighborhood, where there were bikes strewn across people's yards and basketball hoops in a few driveways. The kind of neighborhood a kid dreams of growing up on, with all their best friends on one street. Marlene opened the door and came running out of her house with Lily and Alice trailing behind her.

"Hey guys!" She started, and grabbed Remus's hand to lead the boys into her house. Lily and Alice warmly said hi to Sirius as they walked inside and said that they had missed him at school. The house was tiny on the inside, as the boys tried to crowd into the front hallway, but it's well decorated and looks loved. There's an older woman putting on earrings in the hallway mirror who Marlene introduces as her mother. She's only a few inches taller than Marlene, but has the same sparkling eyes and golden hair. She smiles at each of the boys before turning to Marlene.

"Your father and I will be gone most of the night so I'll see you in the morning." She smooths a wrinkle out of her cocktail dress and bends down to kiss her daughter on the cheek, "I don't want to come home and find the house trashed, ok?"

Marlene rolls her eyes, "Ok, mom. Bye." And with that she leads her caravan of friends up the stairs to her bedroom. Marlene's bedroom is also small, fitting the theme of the house, but it's bright and comfortable. Her walls are bright blue and her bedspread is a pretty colored gray. There's a TV propped on the dresser across from the bed.

Everyone is quick to get comfortable. Marlene and Lily hop onto the bed, leaning back against the headboard. James takes the chair out from under her desk and faces it away from the TV, straddling it backwards so he can see. Alice is all curled up on a beanbag in the corner. Sirius hops on the bed as well, flipping over onto his back so he's staring at the ceiling.

Remus notices a little bit uncomfortably that he is the only one who brought his bookbag inside. He gingerly takes it off and sets it beside Marlene's open door. Then he plops down on the floor next to the bed, pulling his long spindly legs up to his chest.

"So what movie do you guys want to watch," ever the polite hostess, Marlene decides to let her guests choose the entertainment for the evening.

"10 things I hate about you!" Alice shouts from her spot on the beanbag. Both her and Marlene giggle uncontrollably while listing off things they'd like to do to young Heath Ledger.

Lily wrinkles up her nose in disgust. "I am not watching that god forsaken rom com again," she pouts. "Please dear god, anything but that." Alice sticks out her tongue and Marlene whacks Lily with a pillow for disagreeing.

"How about Iron Man?" James asks.

"YES!" Lily declares. "Iron Man! Come on, everyone loves super heroes." Sirius starts to chuckle as James's jaw hits the floor when Lily agrees with his choice, but then he reconsiders and shakes his head.

"James has made me watch that way too many times." Sirius states.

"There's no such thing as too much Iron Man, you fool," Lily retorts.

"Exactly" James says a little squeakily, grinning from ear to ear.

"Well it's more than I can handle. Anyways, I want to watch a musical. Like Rent?" Sirius asks.

"NO," James replies.

"But it's soooooooo good!" Sirius whines.

"I mean I gotta agree," Marlene chimes in. "I'd be down for watching Rent." Nobody notices that all the blood has left Remus's face and that his hands are shaking.

"You don't understand. He will sing the whole god damn time." James says, exasperated. "And then he'll cry at the end, even though he's seen it a gazillion fucking times."

"I can't help that it _moves_ me," Sirius retorts. Remus tries to calm his breathing in the corner, before anyone notices his complete meltdown. But he can't watch Rent. Sirius's reaction will be nothing compared to his own.

"Well, that's settled then," Lily remarks. "Rent it is. I can't wait to see Sirius cry."

"Please god no," James whines. "The singing. You don't understand."

The group rapidly dissolves into an argument while Remus is still trying to get his breathing under control in the corner.

"Phantom of the Opera."

Silence. Every one turns around to look at Remus, who's face is still whiter than a sheet.

"What?" James asks.

"Phantom of the Opera" Remus repeats, trying to suppress the tremor in his voice as he tries to subtly steer the conversation away from a musical almost entirely about AIDS. He takes a deep breath as his friends continue to look at him in confusion, "It's romantic enough for Marlene and Alice. I mean it's a love story. And- And it's grandiose enough for James and Lily. True, there's no AI's or metal suits but there's swordfights, dungeons, and disfigurement. All that flashy stuff that Iron Man weakly tries to embody." James balks at this statement. Iron Man is his hero, and he wouldn't admit it to anyone, but Iron Man's also on his boxers right now. "And the Rent soundtrack may be more well known, but I'm sure this one will live up to your expectations, Sirius." Sirius still blushes a little when Remus directly addresses him. "It's perfect."

One final deep breath and Remus is completely calm again. But has he convinced them? Slowly, they start to smile and nod their heads in agreement.

"Yeah, I'm totally up for this," Marlene agrees. Lily and Alice are nodding as well. James is still insulted at the jab at Iron Man. He finally agrees, still managing to add that he would rather watch Iron Man, but Phantom of the Opera is a close second.

Sirius smiles and nods maybe a little too eagerly. He's never gotten James to watch a musical without a fight. This kid is a genius. And a cute one.

Marlene pulls up her Hulu account and brings up the movie. "Oh!" She gasps. "What do you guys want for snacks?"

They all stomp down to the kitchen and start rifling through the fridge and pantry. Sirius grabs an entire box of goldfish, while the girls all head straight for the candy. Lily grabs the Swedish Fish, while Marlene and Alice each take a fistful of tiny snickers bars. James makes himself a bag of popcorn, looking on in disgust at all of his friend's unorthodox movie snacks. Sirius laughs and calls James "vanilla."

Remus stands shyly in the doorway. He desperately wants a chocolate bar, but his doctor heavily emphasized the importance of avoiding sugar to keep his heart healthy under the conditions of his disease and medications. He also knows he's not supposed to have a high sodium intake, which eliminates the popcorn and the goldfish. All the same, with his condition, his metabolism works faster, and not eating enough could cause wasting. Remus is already thin, even though he eats like a professional football player. He really needs to eat dinner, but he's not about to ask Marlene for some chicken. "Um, Marlene? Do you have any fruit?" Remus rubs his eye a bit, trying not to look so embarrassed.

"Sure Rem, on top of the fridge." Looking up there he sees some apples and a bunch of bananas. Feeling increasingly stupid, he reaches up on top of the fridge and grabs an apple and all seven of the bananas.

With their loot in their arms, the gang heads back upstairs and gets comfortable once more. Soon the only thing that can be heard is Sirius crunching on goldfish and the sweet melodic voice of Emmy Rossum.

Remus has just finished his apple when all of a sudden a muffled alarm can be heard coming from his bookbag.

"Shit" he mutters as he scrambles across the room to shut it up. It's the alarm for his injection. He slides his fuzeon container up his sleeve as discreetly as he can and then turns around to announce "I'm gonna run to the bathroom real quick. Uh- Marlene. Where is it?"

"Down the hall to your right."

With that he slips out of the room and quickly walks to the bathroom. James is munching on a piece of popcorn and thinking hard about something. "He had an alarm for that…" He mumbles through his food. "Dude… does he schedule his shits?"

Lily laughs. "God I don't know. Maybe it's a medical condition or something." Suddenly the group felt very awkward discussing their friend's strange habits.

Sirius lowered his head, no longer paying attention to the musical he was so interested in a second ago. He had a feeling Remus hadn't slipped away to the bathroom for a normal reason, and he was a little worried.

Behind the closed door of the bathroom, Remus unpacked his injection and mixed the powdered medicine into some water. Then he expertly filled the syringe and injected the needle into the side of his abdomen, completely emptying its contents into the subcutaneous layer of his skin. Then he calmly put everything back in its box (he couldn't leave a used needle in Marlene's trach can), washed his hands and walked back down the hall.

Remus entered to an uncomfortably quiet bedroom. No giggle from Alice or Marlene when Raul appeared on the screen. No gasps from Lily during the sword fights or comments from James about how Iron Man could have done it better. Even Sirius, who had been completely entranced seconds ago didn't seem so starry eyed at the jaw dropping performances of Christine Daaé and the Angel of Music himself. As he sat down his heart sunk as he realized they had been talking about him.

Eventually Sirius breaks the tension by beginning to sing. It's true that he's never seen this movie before, but he's very familiar with the song "Music of the Night" as it was one of his mother's favorites. And as much as he hates his mother, it's a beautiful song. He almost squeals when Gerard Butler begins because he had no idea that this movie was where the song came from. Soon he's singing twice as loud as Gerard Butler and maybe even twice as well.

"Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation. Darkness stirs and wakes imagination." His voice is the kind that instantly fills a room, making everything and everyone there with it seem ordinary and uninteresting. It swells and falls perfectly in time with the music.

"Silently the senses abandon their defenses." Everyone but James also knows the words to this song but no one dares sing along, afraid to take away from the beautiful thing that is their friend's voice.

Remus can feel every word Sirius sings in the deepest pit of his stomach, making it turn and twist with either agony or desire, he's not sure which.

"Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams. Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before." At this point no one, not even James is watching the TV. All eyes are on Sirius wondering how they didn't know their friend was so talented, wondering why he didn't bother to tell them. There are tears in Alice's eyes.

"Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar" Sirius scrunches his nose a bit at the high note. Remus suddenly has the strongest urge to kiss him but he doesn't want him to stop singing.

"And you'll live as you've never lived before."

Marlene suddenly realizes her mouth is open and closes it but it falls open again. Alice wipes away one small tear. Lily's face is frozen in awe and even James looks impressed. Remus however feels as if he might faint. He can feel his heart in his ears and his stomach in his throat. His face feels hot and he knows he's blushing. Suddenly, praying to every god there is that no one is watching him (and since all eyes are on Sirius, no one is) he tries to reposition himself as he realizes that his face isn't the only place his blood is rushing. Grabbing a pillow that has fallen off Marlene's bed, Remus discreetly places it on his lap to hide his increasingly noticeable boner, his face getting redder the whole time. You'd think with all the blood rushing to his face, he wouldn't have any left for his dick.

"Help me make the music of the night." Sirius finishes the song perfectly. As the music fades and the movie continues in the background, Sirius opens his eyes and suddenly realizes everyone is looking at him. "What?"

"You're _good_." Lily croaks, her throat dry from having her mouth open for almost six whole minutes.

"Nah." Sirius shrugs, "It's just an easy song to sing." But he can't help but grin to himself when he notices how red Remus has gotten. God he's cute when he's embarrassed.

The group quickly forgot about the movie as they soon realize that the other songs paled in comparison to Sirius's earlier rendition. Soon they were laughing and joking with each other and having a halfhearted pillow fight.

By the end of the night, Sirius had eaten an entire box of goldfish, Marlene and Alice had finished their mountain of snickers, and James was sucking on the last of his popcorn kernels. Lily was sprawled out on the bed declaring that she would never eat another Swedish Fish for as long as she lived.

Remus had thankfully willed his boner away, not an easy task with the beautiful Sirius Black prancing around, being awkward and gorgeous at the same time. He had eaten his apple and six of his seven bananas and felt a little queasy, but happier than he had been in his entire life.

They eventually realized that it was around 2:00 in the morning and that they still had school the next day. By the time everyone had said goodbye and piled into their respective cars, they had made plans to have a sleepover at Alice's house on Friday since her parents would be gone. Everyone drove home exhausted but smiling.

As Sirius drove himself home, he couldn't help but wonder if he should be excited that he made Remus blush. The guy was easily embarrassed, so it could have just been the grandiose performance he put on, right? He didn't know why it terrified him that the reason that Remus could have been blushing could very well have been him. Remus could like him. I mean there weren't that many signs but there were some. Isn't that what he wanted? But it turned his insides to mush and made his knees weak to the point where he could barely press the gas pedal. He, the always smooth guy, the player, would be absolutely speechless if Remus told him he like him. And that was scary.

Pulling into his driveway he was surprised to see that the lights were on in his house. He checks his watch again, just to make sure. Yep. 2:45 a.m. His stomach tying itself into knots, he crept towards his front door, hoping that maybe his parents just forgot to turn them off. Slowly he opened the door and set his keys down quietly on the hall table. But before he could creep upstairs, a menacing voice behind him froze his blood in his veins.

"You've done it this time."


	14. Chapter 14

Slowly turning around, Sirius tried desperately to fight the wave of nausea that hit him when he heard his mother's voice.

"I told you I was out doing stuff for school," Sirius's voice shook as he spit the lie out through gritted teeth, trying to hold back vomit.

"I don't care where the fuck you were." Sirius could see a look so menacing in his mother's eyes that his legs went numb. He suddenly had a feeling this wasn't about missing curfew.

Sirius could see his brother shrunk into the corner behind his mother, with a look of… was that regret on his face?

"We have a certain image to uphold in this family." Walburga growled. "I don't know how many times I've had to tell you this." Her voice had that certain lilt of someone who's had too much to drink, but that only made it scarier.

"I'm sorry I was out late." Sirius whispered, his head down. "It won't happen again."

"I DON'T CARE THAT YOU WERE OUT FUCKING LATE! I CARE THAT I'M UNFORTUNATE ENOUGH TO HAVE TO CALL YOU MY SON." Sirius's face went slack as the harsh words hit him across the chest. He almost didn't feel it when she swung at him with the fireplace poker and sent him tumbling into the wall, leaving a dent in the plaster with his elbow. Tears started to stream down his face. He didn't even know what he had done.

"It's bad enough that you're practically a delinquent," Walburga spat, her voice back down to its terrifyingly quiet decibel. "It's bad enough that you'll never amount to anything." She drew closer to the crumpled form of her son, lying on the floor. "It's bad enough that you can't do even the simplest things asked of you." A swift kick hit him square in the ribs and he felt something crack. Sirius cried out, as it got harder and harder to breathe with every sob, the blinding pain in his ribs almost paralyzing him.

Walburga knelt down so her face was inches from his. "But now-" She grabbed his chin and wrenched his neck up towards her face. "LOOK AT ME." She roughly pulled him closer and grinned when he screamed from the pain. "But now, you're telling people you're gay?" She growled.

Sirius's entire body went numb as his mind reeled. How did she know? He hadn't told anyone…anyone but that cashier. He could barely make out his younger brother's cowering figure in the corner. No. He remembered that the cashier looked a little familiar and suddenly, with his mother's hot breath blowing in his face, he remembered why. He was the older brother of one of Regulus's best friends. He must have told his brother, who must have told Regulus, who…Sirius's heart broke in half. Had his brother told on him?

"Did you think I wouldn't find out?" His mother's breath smelled of whiskey. "Did you think I would let this fly!?" Her voice got louder and Sirius flinched when spit hit his face. Walburga reared back her arm and stuck Sirius clear across the face. The sound echoed throughout the empty hall, followed by the echo of Sirius's hollow cry.

Walburga dropped her grip on Sirius's face and he instinctively clutched his cheek, already beginning to feel the hand shaped welt she had left.

"Do you think I would keep a faggot under my roof? That I would care for you? FEED YOU?" She was throwing things now. Books, candle sticks, anything within reach. Each missile hit its target with a sickening thud. A bookend hit Sirius in the chest so hard he couldn't breathe and a searing pain spread behind his ribs.

Weakly he tried to stand, gripping the wall behind him for support. The entire time, Sirius stared at Regulus through his tears. He couldn't believe that his own little brother had betrayed him.

Shakily he tried to head for the door. He had a panicky feeling that if he didn't get out of here soon he wouldn't survive.

Walburga quickly saw the opportunity he was taking. She grabbed the back of his t shirt and pulled him towards her, his neck snapping as she did so. But as soon as she had him close to her she decided she'd rather let him leave.

"You are not my son," she growled into his ear. She grabbed his keys off the side table and pressed them so hard into his palm that she drew blood. "I _never_ want to see you again." She let him go and he limped as fast as he could through the front door.

Scrambling down the driveway, half walking, half crawling, Sirius got in his car and started it. His wheels screamed as he whipped out of the driveway. Sirius got to the end of the street before he realized he was crying so hard he couldn't see. He pulled over to the side of the road and threw his car in park. Sitting there he couldn't hold it back anymore and he just let it all out.

Tears streamed in waterfalls down his face. There was something pressing into his lung that he though was his rib and he could barely breathe. Each sob pushed whatever it was further into his lung. Sirius took a deep breath and just screamed, letting all of his anguish out in a single wail. His head slumped forward and hit the steering wheel as a panic attack hit him and suddenly he was hyperventilating and crying all at once, snot bubbling and dripping out of his nose.

How could he have been so _stupid?_ Why did he tell that cashier that he was gay? Was that really worth the derailing of his entire life? He didn't have a family anymore, he didn't have a house or a bed or food. All because he thought he was gay? This wasn't worth it, he thought as he started to cry harder.

There were no more tears now, just great heaving dry sobs, and muffled screams as Sirius bit the sleeve of his t shirt. He needed to calm down.

He sat there in his car for a few more minutes. Just trying to breathe, just trying to calm down. He stared into the dark and just repeated that in his head for a while.

Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down. Breathe. Calm down.

After a few minutes his breathing was at a normal enough pace where he wasn't seeing spots anymore. I am gay, he thought. He said it aloud. "I am gay." And that's ok, he tells himself. Because eventually he will find _that guy_ if he hasn't already and it will be worth it.

Trying to calm himself further he turned his thoughts to his friends. Lily and Marlene were so nice and funny. He laughed when he remembered how Lily was so embarrassed when Sirius caught her staring at James in English class. But laughing hurt so much it brought tears to his eyes. He smiled when he thought about how Marlene would wink every time he caught her eye across the food court at the mall. Frank and Alice were hilarious and so so sweet. Alice always let him have her cookie at lunch since she was "trying to cut down on sugar anyways." Frank was always whispering funny things under his breath in history class, making Sirius laugh enough to get in trouble. And how would he have survived high school without James and Peter? Those guys had had his back since the sixth grade. James taught him how to ride a bike, since his parents never bothered to teach him. And Peter taught him how to sneak into R rated movies and how to play any type of card game under the sun. And oh god Remus. He had known Remus barely a week but already he was so impressed with his smart, funny and beautiful friend. He has to stop himself from laughing when he remembered how devious his innocent seeming friend was and how he got him in trouble on the first day of school.

Tears began to roll down his face again. He does have a family. But they're all with their real families right now and he's parked in a ditch with a possibly broken rib, soaking the front of his t shirt with his own tears, struggling to breathe.

What the fucking hell does he do.

Eventually he decides to intrude in his best friends privacy a little more because he doesn't know where to go, or if he should go to the hospital, or even where the hospital is. But he knows where James is.

It's 3:41 when Sirius staggers up James's front porch and pulls out his phone.

Sirius: (Are you awake?)

There's a minute where Sirius doesn't think he's going to answer, but then…

James: (Barely. Why?)

Sirius: (Could you come outside?)

A light turns on upstairs and Sirius can hear James flying down the stairs. The front door opens and a bewildered James steps onto his front porch to see his bruised, wheezing, broken best friend.

"What the fuck Sirius."

"I think I need a ride to the hospital." Sirius croaks out and it takes James a millisecond to grab his keys and lock the front door behind him.

"Let's go."

James helps Sirius up and the two boys manage to limp all the way to James's car before the front door opens again and James's mother comes flying out.

"What's going on?" She cries, before she sees the broken frame of her son's best friend draped over him. She takes a second look just to make sure she's comprehending the situation right, then nods. "Help him into the back seat. Give me a second to get your father and my purse and we'll leave." With that she flies back into the house to grab her handbag and her husband, Fleamont, who emerges from the house rightfully confused and still in his pajamas.

It's a somber ride to hospital. No one knows what to say, and secretly Sirius is grateful for the silence. He spends most of the ten minute ride trying not to get tears on James's pajama shirt.

The doctor confirms Sirius's fear of a broken rib, and gives him ice for his rib and face, and a sedative for his panic attacks. He hands James's mother a prescription for pain killers for Sirius to take as his rib heals. His work done, the doctor quietly leaves the room for James's dad to sign the discharge papers. But before any pens are uncapped, Sirius is met with the stern but pitiful gazes of his best friend and his parents.

"You have to tell us what happened, son," Fleamont says, still looking confused and very out of place on account of the pajamas.

Sirius grips the ice pack tighter to his face. "I got in a fight." He laughs weakly, "You should see the other guy." He knows it's a weak attempt at humor but his face grows hot whenever he thinks of uttering the truth.

"This is serious, Sirius." James says, not even grinning at the use of the word serious, even though it always makes the two of them laugh.

He desperately tries not to cry again, but a few tears find their way out. "I got kicked out," he whispers so softly the three Potters can barely hear it. "I think forever, this time."

James is immediately furious. He gets up and paces a bit, clenching and unclenching his hands. "And that bitch had to break your ribs to kick you out!? You're a kid!"

"James…" his mother whispers at the foul language her son uses, but she makes no effort to correct them. Walburga Black's nasty reputation precedes her.

"I can't imagine- I just- How- What the FUCK?" James would normally be heavily chastised for such language, but neither Fleamont nor Euphemia feel it appropriate in this situation.

"I'm getting the police involved." James states matter-of-factly. "This isn't ok." But Sirius jolts a little at the mention of the police.

"No, James." Seeing Sirius's discomfort, Euphemia and Fleamont slip out of the room to sign the discharge papers and discuss payment with the nurses. However drastic the situation, both of them respect Sirius's right to decide how to proceed.

"What? This isn't acceptable Sirius." James is very adamant.

"I'm fine James."

"YOU THINK A BROKEN RIB IS FUCKING FINE?"

"No police James, please." Sirius had to fight to make his voice audible, he was trembling so much.

"Why Sirius. Why?"

"You don't understand, James. It would only make things worse."

"How could locking that fucking bitch up for good make anything worse?"

"You don't understand James." Sirius whispered, "You've never had any one pity you."

"What?" James asked quietly.

"If we went after her legally, she'd win," Sirius stated. "My father owns the most influential law firm in the area. What's the use of bringing this all out in the open if we're going to lose anyways. I don't want anyone to know."

"Sirius…"

"No James. Do you think anyone wants their friends to know that their own mom beats the shit out of them?" Sirius bit his lip to stop the floodgates from re opening. His voice cracked a bit, "Do you think anyone treats you the same once they know that? You just don't get it."

James hung his head in defeat. "Ok. No police." He thought for a second, his sad eyes sweeping over his friend. "But you're living with us."

Sirius's mouth opened and closed for a second, unsure of what to say. "What?"

"If you think I'm going to let my best friend live on the street, then you're wrong, mate. You're living with us. It's not up for debate."

"Thank you." Sirius whispered.

The discharged papers were signed, and the service was paid for. Fleamont and Euphemia reassured Sirius the whole ride home that they were more than happy to have him stay under their roof as long as he needed. The three of them helped them inside their house, and James tucked him into the right side of his bed before climbing into the left side, himself.

Both boys were exhausted but both agreed to get up for school the next morning, even though that meant getting up in less than an hour and a half. But Sirius was adamant that he would go on as if nothing was wrong. And you don't miss school if nothing is wrong.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: To whoever EineOrchidee is- I don't know if you're still reading this, but thank you.

The alarm went off like a police siren, and both James and Sirius jolted out of bed. They looked at each other, neither entirely sure what day it was or where they were. James's hair was sticking straight up, not uncommon for the morning, but Sirius couldn't help but giggle.

James threw on an outfit he had planned, and tossed Sirius some jeans and a t shirt. "I'm not making you go back to that house, so you can wear my clothes until we figure this out, ok?"

Sirius nodded and threw on what James gave him. They then quietly slid on their shoes and bookbags and snuck down the hall, expecting James's parents to be asleep after the chaotic night before. But just as James creaked open the front door, the boys halted in their steps by a loud, "OI!"

Standing behind them with her hand on her hip and brandishing a spatula was James's mother. "If you're going to insist on going to school on an hour and a half of sleep, you're going to need some sustenance." She sternly ushered the boys to the kitchen where two plates piled high with pancakes awaited them. "Acting like I wasn't gonna feed you." She mumbled, "Fools is what you are." She gently placed two giant cups of coffee in front of them, "And I don't want to hear about you two falling asleep. We've got enough to handle as it is."

Sirius choked up a bit, realizing he was what had to be handled, "Mrs. Potter, I really can't thank you en-"

"I don't want to hear it. And I don't need to be thanked." She smiled warmly at him, " I did what anyone would have done. It's just gonna take some rearranging, is all." She looked at the clock sitting above the kitchen stove. "Now go on, you're gonna be late."

Sirius took another giant sip of his coffee, thoroughly burning his tongue, and James shoved an entire pancake in his mouth as the two of them flew as fast as Sirius could to James's car. About ten minutes later, and they were parked in the school parking lot. James started to get out, but Sirius grabbed him firmly by the wrist.

"You know, I'd really appreciate it if what happened last night was never brought up." Sirius begged.

"You mean the sleepover? But that was so fun." James replied, feigning innocence.

 _Thank you,_ Sirius mouthed, and the two boys got out of the car. Sirius' face was a little bruised, but unless you looked at it from the right angle, it looked like a shadow. He was walking a little stiffly on account of the ace bandages holding his rib in place, and as they made it to the front door Sirius remembered that he hadn't taken any of the pain killers the doctor had given him. It was going to be a long day.

James spotted Alice's hand frantically waving above the crowd of students as she spotted the two boys enter the school. Everyone else was already there.

"Caramel latte and mocha frappuccino, right?" Marlene asked as she handed Sirius and James their prospective coffee orders. "Me and Rem stopped by the mall today and made everyone coffee since we were out so late last night." Sirius and James gratefully took their coffees generously thanking Remus and Marlene for the thoughtfulness.

"Geez guys, we were only up until like 3. You act like you've never stayed out late before." Lilly chuckled.

Sirius shot a look at James before tentatively chuckling back, trying not to wince. If only they knew.

"I went to bed a ten, you guys," Peter mumbled, gripping his tea, obviously a little bitter he had to miss the party. Everyone couldn't help but laugh at that.

The bell rang as everyone but Frank and Alice sleepily shuffled into first period English, followed by a wide awake Peter. Everyone took their seats and McGonagall began to drone on about Sherlock Holmes just like every other day this week.

Sirius took a sip of his latte and put the paper cup down on his desk. Spinning it around in his hands, he noticed that _good morning :)_ was scrawled in Remus's messy handwriting across the side of the cup. All of the events of the past couple of hours faded away as Sirius turned to Remus and smiled. It was just him and the other boy, who wanted him to have a good morning, even when unbeknownst to him, Sirius had just had maybe the worst night of his life.

"All right class, that's all I have for you today. Please get out your essays on the importance of John Watson so I can come around to collect them." McGonagall's voice floated out over the sleepy students. Essay? All the color drained out of Sirius's face. He had completely forgotten. So much for a good morning.

His face started to coat itself in a cold layer of sweat as McGonagall got closer and closer to his desk. He may not live in her house anymore, but his mother was right. He would never amount to anything. This was an easy essay, and an easy grade. He looked around. All of his friends had remembered to write theirs. Why was he so stupid? Desperately trying to hold back tears, Sirius tried to think of an excuse as McGonagall approached him.

Suddenly a piece of paper wedged itself under his elbow. It was an essay? "The Importance of John Watson to the Plot of Sherlock Holmes" was written messily across the top of the page, above paragraphs and paragraphs of analysis. And next to the title, on top of eraser smudges was his name. Sirius Black.

Breathless, Sirius turned to Remus, the author of his salvation, with his mouth open _. Take it_ Remus mouthed. Sirius was about to give the essay back (he couldn't get Remus in trouble just cause he was an idiot) when McGonagall arrived at his desk.

"Mr. Black. Your essay please." She drawled in her cool, collected tone. Sirius just stared at her with his mouth open. Did he give it to her? Exasperated, McGonagall just picked up Remus's essay off the desk and moved on.

"Mr. Lupin?"

"Oh, um sorry professor, I think I forgot mine."

"You're not starting the year off strong, are you?"

"You're absolutely right professor."

"Detention today at 4:00."

And with that English class was over.

"You didn't have to do that." Sirius said as him and Remus walked to their second period history class with Professor Binns.

"Why not?" Remus said, cocking his head to the side and waiting for Sirius's answer.

"Well… I don't know. I didn't do my essay. And I didn't deserve that." Sirius muttered. Trying to read Remus's intentions was harder for Sirius than trying to read his math textbook.

"Well, I think you did. I mean I got you detention on the second day of school, and you still decided to be my friend. Plus you're on thin ice with McGonagall anyways and it's because of my foul mouth. Consider us even."

The boys slid into their seats in Professor Binn's classroom. Sirius winced. The dull ache in his ribs was steadily growing. It was like having a migraine in your chest. Remus looked at him a little funny, but class started so he turned to the front to pay attention.

Eventually, Remus couldn't take Sirius' winces every 10 seconds. He quickly folded something out of his notebook paper and lightly dropped it on Sirius's desk.

Sirius looked at it, confused. It was a tiny envelope. He opened the little flap. Written on the inside were the words "Are you okay?" in the same handwriting that was on "Sirius's" English essay. Inside the envelope were two tiny Advil pills.

Sirius was flooded with gratitude once again as he looked at the boy next to him. Remus just smiled and held up a Costco sized bottle of Advil, mouthing the words _I have more._


	16. Chapter 16

Lunch began with a regaling of the night's tales to Frank and Peter. Well, not all of the night's tales.

"I swear to god babe, I have never heard any one sing as beautifully as he does." Alice said motioning to Sirius as she clung to her boyfriend's arm.

"It's really not that great," Sirius mumbled, and was met by a unanimous "SHUT UP!"

"Well I think we can all agree, that Remus has the best taste in movies." Lily grinned. "Even if he does have the weirdest taste in movie snacks."

"Oh yeah," James chimed in, elbowing Remus playfully in the side, "The guy ate like seven bananas."

"Six actually." Remus retorted, like that made it better.

"Well gosh," Peter said, "You didn't have to have _that_ much fun without us."

"Oh!" Alice exclaimed. "I almost forgot! Are the two of you free tonight?" She asked, referring to Peter and Frank.

They both nodded.

"Great! We're having a sleepover at my house!"

"Well good." said Frank. "Next lunch, we can talk about stories I was actually in." He kissed Alice on the cheek.

The rest of the school day was uneventful, and it ended with loud goodbyes, and promises to meet back up at Alice's house in about an hour. Remus, unfortunately, watched his friends go their separate ways and then walked back into the school to go serve his detention with McGonagall. He shot a quick text to his mom.

( detention. Be home late)

He walked into McGonagall's room and sat down, pulling out a piece of paper and a pencil in preparation for whatever line he was going to have to write this time.

"You won't be writing lines today Mr. Lupin." The tall, intimidating woman smiled down softly at Remus, much to his bewilderment.

"Um, ok?" Remus said hesitantly as he put the paper back into his bookbag.

"After all you did do the essay. It seems a bit unfair to punish you for helping out a friend. Although in the future, I'll expect Mr. Black to complete his own work."

Shocked Remus mumbled, "yeah I think he's just having a bit of a rough week is all."

McGonagall smiled a bit sadly. All the teachers were familiar with the Black family history. Many of the teachers had gone to school with Walburga, and age hadn't begun to soften her spirit. Walburga came after McGonagall's time as student, but during her time as a teacher. Even at sixteen she was tossing murderous insults and bossing Orion, her then boyfriend, around. As far as she knew, nothing much had changed, except the target of her insults had now become her two sons.

"Everyone has one of those now and again," she retorted, the pity thick in her voice.

"So um… professor?"

"Yes, Mr. Lupin."

"Did you want me to do anything?"

"Oh. Well policy says I can't just let you go. What would you like to do?" For the first time ever, Remus starts to regard McGonagall as "cool."

"I could read, I guess. If that's alright?"

"Of course!" She smiles again and produces a plate of cookies from under her desk. "Have a biscuit, Lupin."

While Remus whiles away the time in detention the rest of the group are starting to arrive at Alice's house. Soon everyone is there and comfortably gathered around the living room chatting.

"Ok, I just have to clear one thing up." Lily says loudly. " All the rumors I've ever heard about Remus Lupin say he's super smart and always follows the rules, and blah blah blah."

Sirius perks up at the mention of Remus.

"So what?" Marlene says, "He is really smart."

"Well he didn't even turn in an essay today. And he's gotten two detentions in the first week of school. I just think people are wrong about him, is all." Lily says

"Oh right, that is a little weird." Marlene ponders.

Frank starts to joke that maybe Remus is a bad influence, until Sirius pipes up from the corner of the room.

"He did do his essay." This was the quietest that any of them had ever heard Sirius speak. Normally you could hear their boisterous friend from three rooms away.

"What's that mate?"

"He did do his essay. I forgot to do mine and he slipped his onto my desk with my name on it. So I wouldn't get in trouble."

The room was silent. Lily looks down a little sheepishly for casting her judgement on Remus a bit too soon. Finally James speaks up.

"Well, anyone that's that ride or die is ok in my book." James was the only one in the room besides Sirius himself that knew the kind of week Sirius had had. This act of kindness, one he hadn't even thought of himself, cemented Remus in his mind as a good person. And an amazing friend.

Suddenly, Alice's front door opened and Remus stepped inside.

"Hey!" called Frank, "Can you do my homework next time?"

Remus laughed. "I owed him one. I don't owe you anything, Longbottom."

A chorus of oohs echoed around the room. Thankfully, no one noticed Sirius blush.

"Ready to get the party started?" Alice emerged from her kitchen with a bottle of Absolut in one hand and a bottle of Tropicana orange juice in the other. Frank followed quickly behind with red solo cups, as Alice poured everybody a "screwdriver" although Peter didn't believe that that's what the drink was actually called.

"I thought boozy O.J. was a mimosa." He mumbled as he took his first sip.

"Actually I think boozy O.J. is a recipe for a murder trial."

"God Remus," Lily guffawed, "what an awful joke. Mimosa's are orange juice and champagne, Peter. Ooh but tequila sunrises are the best o.j. drinks," Lily sighed fondly.

"Geez, alcoholic much?" Peter leaned over and gently pushed James's mouth closed.

"Soooooooo…" Alice's speech was already starting to get a little slurred. "It's not really a sleepover without a game of truth or dare…" She giggled, making Frank giggle and grab her around the waist.

"Really Al?" Marlene sighed, "Gah, that's so middle school."

"Come on, come on," Lil pleaded, "It'll be fun."

"Ugh, fine."

"Ahhh! Alright alright. Ruuules." Alice was drinking a bit too fast. "Dares have to do what we say! And no lying on truths….no." Frank plucked the drink from her hand.

"Let's slow down a bit, babe." She didn't even notice.

"Who's first?"

"ME! Dare." an overly eager James volunteered from his spot next to Sirius.

"alright, alright," Alice slurred. "Come on guys help me think of something."

The group conferred for a while, Frank shooting down all of Alice's wild suggestions ranging from "jump off the roof" to "eat a yellow starburst."

"No babe."

"But they're the worst color!"

Finally a winning suggestion emerged. "Cross-dress?" Remus contributed.

"What?"

"Yeah sure, like put on a dress and heels and give us your best model walk or something." Remus was growing more and more embarrassed by the second.

"That. Is. A. BRILLIANT. Idea." Sirius exclaimed in his usual dramatic flair.

Alice tripped drunkenly up the stairs to her room screaming, "I HAVE JUST THE THING!" and returned moments later with a low cut, backless light blue ball gown and silver five inch heels.

"Hot damn, Al" Lily whistled. "What were you saving that for?"

"Truth or dare, obviously." Peter said.

James stripped down to his boxers, making Lily blush when she found out that muscles were hidden beneath his usual baggy attire. Unzipping the back of the dress, he stepped daintily into the gown, smushing his feet into Alice's heels and zipping up the dress back up in one fluid motion. With a flick of his hair, he strutted a few laps around the living room.

"I'm a fucking model," he whispered as he caught his reflection in the window. "Now," The full skirt of the dress made a _whoosh_ as he plopped back onto the floor and pointed his finger at Remus, the mastermind of this scheme. "It's your turn."


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha sorry not yet

Suddenly, Remus's face was redder than his solo cup. But God damn it if he was going to let them know how nervous he was. This was Remus Lupin's first sleepover, first friends really, and he was going to do this right. He pulled the right side of his mouth into a smirk, brushed his hair off his forehead, looked James straight in the eye and said,

"Ok, but I don't know how you're going to top that."

"Ooh we'll see about that. Truth or dare?" James grinned back. He knew how to play the confidence game.

"Truth." Remus replied. He figured this way, he could at least lie if he didn't like the question. There's really no way to get out of a dare.

James smiles and rubs his hands together. "Let's get personal. Any ideas guys?"

The group confers again, throwing out Peter's generic suggestions of "ask him who his crush is" and "ask him his most embarrassing story!"

"No Peter, it has to be goooood," Alice slurs. Suddenly her eyes light up and she motions for James to come closer. Cupping her hand around his ear, she whispers something. James smiles and nods, the two of them whispering the question in turn to the rest of the group. Peter and Frank look very confused by this question, but decide that they don't have any better ideas so to just go ahead and ask it.

"Alright man. At the sleepover…" James starts and all the blood immediately drains out of Remus's face. Shit, were they going to ask them about the boner he got when Sirius was singing. Shit shit shit shit shit shit. "Yeah um an alarm went off on your phone and you went straight to the bathroom. What was that about man? Who schedules their shits?"

This was literally the only question James could have asked that was worse than the boner one. Remus couldn't feel his hands anymore. What did he say? He had to lie right? He couldn't just announce to the whole room that he had AIDS, right? I mean that would kind of kill the mood. Remus couldn't even tell if he was still breathing or not. Only two seconds had passed but it felt like an eternity. Did he lie and say that he was just _that_ much of a type A that he scheduled bathroom breaks? I mean what other reasonable explanation was there. He had to tell the truth. I mean, he had to-

"I- uh I had to, um take some medicine." He choked out, immediately taking a giant swig of alcohol in preparation for the next part.

"Oh that makes sense." Lily said. "God what a stupid question, James." James winced in the corner.

"Medication for what?" Alice also took a large swig of her alcohol, but probably not for the same reason as Remus.

Remus stammered, accidently catching Sirius's eye across the room which only made breathing harder. Sirius squinted a bit, sensing the other boy's discomfort and immediately took action.

"Hey isn't there a no follow up question rule?" Sirius asked Alice. "He answered our question. We gotta wait til his next turn now."

"Ugh fine, but it's your turn now then." Remus made a mental note to most definitely pick dare next time. "Truth or dare?"

Ever the daredevil, and definitely not one for sharing, Sirius flicked his hair back and declared, "dare."

Lily and Alice eyed Sirius a little too intently before looking at each other. "SLAP OR KISS!" the girls screamed simultaneously, causing the rest of the group to offer up a unanimous "what?"

"It's this game we used to play in middle school." Lily began to explain, grabbing the half empty vodka bottle out of Alice's hand. "Sirius has to spin the bottle and whoever it lands on he has to slap or kiss…per the groups decision." She smiled deviously. "Oh and the person it lands on has to leave the room while we decide so they don't know what's coming."

"That's all well and good, my dude," a tipsy Marlene started, "But we don't have an empty bottle. I don't think Alice's mom wants Absolut sloshed all over her carpet."

"Easily fixed," Alice slurred grabbing the bottle back out of Lily's hand and beginning to chug.

Frank quickly grabbed the bottle out of her mouth and began to chug it himself, muttering "No alcohol poisoning tonight. The couple who gets shitfaced together stays together."

Sirius was still a little hesitant about the idea, mostly about the possibility of who he might get to kiss, but he wasn't going to announce that as his reason. "I really don't want to hit anybody, you guys…" He said.

"I guess you'll have to kiss them then." Marlene smiled, taking the empty bottle from a woozy Frank's hands and giving it to Sirius. "Give it a whirl."

The still chilled bottle in his hands, Sirius took a deep breath, tried very hard not to glance up at Remus, put the bottle on the floor, and…spun.

Staring down the neck of the bottle Remus only had one thought in his mind. _You better motherfucking kiss me._

Sirius could feel his heartbeat in every joint of his body, could feel his stomach rumbling, could feel his ears ringing. He was going to do it. Right here in front of all his friends. They could decide on slap but it would be his lips and not his hand landing on Remus Lupin's face tonight.

"Ughh," Alice groaned and reached out towards the bottle. "He's already gone." She spun the bottle again and Remus used all of his willpower to suppress the "fuck you" rising from deep within him. It landed on Marlene this time.

She blushed, obviously more embarrassed than excited, and left the room.

James elbowed Sirius in the ribs as soon as she shut the door. "I know what we're going to pick for this one mate. Now's your chance."

"For the love of god James, I don't have a crush on Marlene." Sirius spat a little more aggressively than he intended to.

"God, well if you have to say it like that, then you definitely have a crush on somebody." Lily said.

"I picked dare, god dammit, not truth. I don't have to tell you anything, Evans."

"Ah so he admits it!" James clenched his fist triumphantly. "You still got to kiss her mate, group agrees?"

A chorus of "kiss" echoed around the room. Remus didn't chime in.

They let Marlene back into the room and Sirius tried his best not to look disappointed.

Remus did his best not to look jealous.

Sirius's turn culminated with a quick peck on the lips for Marlene, and the game petered off after that. Alice fell asleep during her turn and Frank fell asleep beside her. Lily also kissed Marlene for a dare, James informed the group that his biggest secret was that he was still scared of the dark, and Marlene kissed Remus on her turn, much to the discomfort of them both.

They all fell asleep one by one, Remus last after he was done mentally cursing Alice for ruining his night.

They planned to go to the beach the next day although it was doubtful any of them would wake up before noon.


	18. Chapter 18

Sirius was coaxed out of a sleepy haze by the smell of sausage and eggs. He inhaled deeply before he opened his eyes, letting the warm smell tease a smile onto his face. Through one squinted eye he could see Frank standing in front of the stove, an apron draped over his pajamas and a spatula in his hand.

Sirius sat up and pushed his messy hair away from his face. Remus was already awake with Lily and they were sitting at the kitchen table, chatting with Frank as he pushed eggs around in a skillet.

"No way! I can't imagine it." Lily gasped, holding her shocked head on her hand.

"I mean it's not a big deal. It's actually fairly easy to pick up." Remus answered, trying not to blush. "And my mum speaks it, so I've been learning for a while."

"Well you know what the next question is then." Frank turned over his sausages. "Say something in it."

"Oh god. So original, Frank." Remus said, "Kuinka monta kertaa minun on vastattava tähän kysymykseen."

Frank and Lily gasped but Sirius sat straight up. Remus spoke Finnish? While he had slacked in all other areas of his mother's teaching, Sirius black picked up languages extraordinarily well, and after learning most western European languages, Finnish had been his first, and favorite eastern European language. In fact it was the only one he completed to fluency. Sure he could read and write Spanish, Italian, and French, but he could speak Finnish, sing Finnish, love Finnish. It was beautiful and Remus spoke it too.

"What does it mean?" Lily pondered. Sirius almost spoke for him, but then decided the better of it. He didn't know if he wanted to tell Remus he spoke it. He smiled deviously. He could have fun with this.

"ennustettavissa." Remus muttered, "It means how many times do I have to answer that question."

"Sassy even in another language, " Frank tsked, hand on his hip. "I should have guessed." Lily giggled.

Sirius, still slightly shocked, got up from his sleeping place on the floor and walked over to his friends.

"Good morning sleepy head." Lily smiled. Frank put a plate down in front of him, filled all the way to the edge with eggs and sausage.

"I'm over here enough that I know where the kitchen stuff is, " He explained matter of factly. Sighing, he looked over at a softly snoring Alice on the couch, "She's gonna be fucking hungover as hell when she wakes up, so I figured greasy food would be best."

"Thanks mom," Sirius grinned. Then putting his oscar winning innocent face, "What language was that."

"Finnish," Remus spit, through a mouthful of eggs. Not quite as beautiful as the words he spoke before, but still, with his hair in all directions and his eyes still a little sleepy, he was the cutest thing Sirius had ever seen.

"Cool," Sirius replied, mentally kicking himself for not thinking of something better to say.

"Are we still going to the beach today?" Lily asked.

"If the rest of them wake up, maybe." Frank said. "I can make us lunch to take, for when they do."

"Haha are you always this domestic?" Lily stood up to put her empty plate in the sink.

"Hey now," Frank defended. "Domestic is sexy as hell. I'm gonna be one kickass stay at home dad."

"I don't doubt that." Alice, who was up and not nearly as in pain as they expected her to be, kissed her boyfriend on the cheek and grabbed herself a plate. "Oh and we have sandwich stuff in the fridge."

Frank started to make sandwiches, taking orders and bagging triangular cut bread like a pro, while the rest of them planned out their beach day, careful not to wake Marlene, Peter, or James.

About an hour later, everyone was awake and in the car and there were sandwiches and towels in the trunk, as Frank backed Alice's Kia Sorento out of the driveway. There were eight of them, but only 7 seats so Remus was sandwiched between the back of the driver's seat and the second row. More appropriately, Remus was squished between the back of the driver's seat and Sirius's knees. The entire thirty minute car trip would be spent with him trying not to be _so aware_ of the other boy's legs touching his back.

For the others the car trip was spent recounting most of the previous night's events to Alice, and deciding what to do at the beach when they got there.

Parking in an abandoned lot, right on the beach front, everyone scrambled out of the car and grabbed their stuff out of the trunk. James grabbed his stuff and whacked Lily on the back of the head, shouting "Tag, you're it!" over his shoulder as he sprinted across the beach, towel whipping in the wind behind him. Not one to abandon a challenge, and definitely not one to lose to James Fucking Potter, Lily took off after him, gaining on him a lot faster than James would have expected.

Marlene grabbed a frisbee and helped Peter carry the cooler over to their spot in the sand. Their laughter was picked up by the wind and carried all the way down the waterline.

Frank grabbed Alice's stuff first, and then her hand and together the couple walked over to join Peter and Marlene.

Lagging at the back of the pack, Sirius picked up his towel a little nervously. If he took his shirt off to go swimming his friends would see the bruises and bandages and definitely have more than a few questions. But if he didn't go swimming, he'd just kill the mood.

"You ok?" Remus closed the trunk of the car and slung his towel over his shoulder. Sirius jumped.

"Yeah I'm fine," He muttered in what he thought was a convincing voice. It wasn't, but Remus didn't know how to ask what was wrong without coming off as intrusive. So he let it go and the boys walked over to join their friends.

Since school had started, the beach was nearly empty, except for a few dog walkers, and the occasional old man with a metal detector. The cooler had already been abandoned by the time Sirius and Remus got there. Marlene and Peter were playing frisbee, Peter accidentally throwing it into the water more times than he got it to Marlene's hand. Frank and Alice were in the water, splashing and laughing and occasionally dodging the wayward frisbee. Lily was chasing a hysterical James towards the pier.

Remus, however, spread out his towel and plopped down in the middle of it. When met with Sirius's questioning look, the only explanation he offered was "Not much of a swimmer, really," and smiled.

"Cool me neither." He spread his towel out too, laying down and stretching his arms above his head. Relief spread over him and the knot in his stomach dissolved. Not swimming didn't mean he was killing the mood. He was just hanging out with his good friend Remus.

Remus watched Marlene and Peter play frisbee for a while, chuckling to himself every time Peter took a particularly ungraceful dive. Eventually Sirius worked up enough courage to disturb him from his peaceful bliss.

"Where'd you learn to speak Finnish?"

Remus turned, a bit surprised. "Oh… my mother speaks it. I learned it before I learned English, so I could talk to my relatives and stuff."

"So your relatives are from Finland? Do you speak to them a lot?"

"A fair amount I guess." Remus didn't mention that a fair amount was actually code for never, or that they didn't want to associate with him or his mother after they had found out about his diagnosis.

"That's really cool. Could you say something else in it?" Sirius asked, hoping he wasn't being predictable, or annoying.

Remus didn't seem annoyed though. He thought for a moment before saying, "On niin paljon asioita, joita haluan kertoa teille"

Sirius's mind reeled. It took him a few seconds he remembered that he wasn't supposed to understand, and he quickly took control of his face. He turned to look up at the other boy, "That's really pretty. What does it mean?" What did it mean?

Now it was Remus's turn to be flustered. He really needed to start thinking things through. "Oh, um… it means that the weather's really nice today."

 _Liar_ Sirius thought, grinning to himself. "I wish I could speak another language," He lied through his teeth. He could speak six, more or less fluently.

"It's not all it's cracked up to be I guess. I mean I only ever speak it at home." Remus kind of loved the way that Sirius was so amazed at his ability. He never really got to be the center of attention.

Sirius assured him that it was indeed, very very cool, while he absentmindedly played with the hem of his t-shirt, not realizing that doing that pulled his t-shirt up a bit and exposed the lower half of his stomach.

Remus took one look at the deep purple bruises wrapped around Sirius's hips that he didn't even think to wonder if it might be too personal of a question. "What happened?!"

Immediately the shirt went down, shame reddening Sirius cheeks, fear bringing tears to his eyes. "Oh, I uh got into a fight," he whispered, fearing his voice would crack if he spoke any louder.

"At school?" Remus asked wondering how he could have missed this.

"Uh, no… at home." The last part was whispered so quietly, so fearfully that Remus almost didn't catch it. Sirius himself didn't know why he was answering these questions truthfully. He had promised himself that James would be the only person to ever know and that was out of necessity, not choice. Yet here he was.

Remus didn't know what to say to that. Sirius just kept talking. Wanting to get it out, wanting someone to know.

"Well, it's not home anymore." His voice was a thin waiver, the wind threatening to steal it away. "I ran away I think, or got kicked out. I haven't been back in a couple days, and I've been staying at James's." He took a deep breath to push back the sob that was trying to escape his throat. "I'm kind of glad to be gone though. It hurts though. It just-" He stopped, holding his breath to keep in the tears. He didn't dare look at Remus right then.

Quietly, trying not to overshadow the other boy's pain, trying not to make him feel as if he didn't deserve to feel this way, Remus spoke, "I can't imagine what you're going through. And I am so sorry." That was it, and it took Sirius's breath away.

He didn't try to offer up a solution, like James sometimes did. He didn't try to tell him that he understood how Sirius felt. He didn't tell him things would get better, to think positively, or to move on. He didn't ask for more details than what Sirius gave him, or try to see the other side of the situation. He just acknowledged Sirius's pain point blank, without shying away.

It made Sirius feel seen. And for some reason Sirius felt like Remus _did_ understand. Maybe he didn't understand what it felt like to be ostracized from your own home, a place meant to be safe and secure. But Sirius felt like Remus somehow understood what it meant to feel the type of pain no one could help you with, the type of pain that you had to push through utterly and entirely by yourself.

Looking over at the other boy again, desperately wishing that the tears still in his eyes would evaporated, he mumbled thank you. Remus smiled warmly at him, and started to say "you're welcome," before a neon blue frisbee whacked him on the head, knocking him over.

Sirius howled with laughter (very grateful for the distraction) as an embarrassed Peter ran up, apologizing profusely.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Almost to chapter 20 and I still don't know where I'm going with this. Thank you to everyone who has read this far though, and I hope I have you interested enough to keep reading. I'm definitely having fun.

There was something about that moment between them, that vulnerability that was shared, that knocked down whatever barriers were left between them. Peter returned to his frisbee game, Lily finally caught up to James, Alice dunked Frank playfully, and Sirius and Remus talked like tomorrow would never come, and they had to get everything out today.

"Wait so you've been to six schools in the past three years? That's like a school a semester mate."

"Haha yeah I know. I mean it was fine for the most part. Making friends was kind of tough…last night was my first sleepover." Remus said this with a kind of wince, expecting the other boy to judge him.

"Oh wow really? Did it live up to the hype?"

"Haha yeah. Is cross dressing always so common at those things?"

"Only when vodka is involved." Sirius smirked. "So why do you change schools so much?"

"Oh…" Remus hesitated. "Well, my family moves a lot I guess." He didn't mention that the moves were the result of switching doctors and needing to be closer to the hospital, or of trying experimental treatments in different cities, or of that one time that someone found out, and Remus couldn't bring himself to go back to that school, that place where suddenly everyone knew. He was comfortable with Sirius, but there are some secrets that have to be kept hidden in order for friendship to survive.

"You're not moving again anytime soon are you?" Sirius tried not to show so much concern in his eyes, but the truth of the matter was that already he couldn't imagine what he would do if Remus left.

"I don't think so."

"Well that's good. Does it ever get boring? You know, floating from school to school like you do."

"Well….there are ways to pass the time."

"Care to elaborate, or am I gonna have to drag it out of you?"

"I used to play pranks…not huge ones or anything, just stuff I thought of sitting in class."

"Details, mate, details." Sirius laughed. For a person who seemed to have some pretty cool stories, Remus didn't know how to tell one. Sirius brushed his hair off his shoulder. I guess not everyone could have his dramatic flair.

"Alright, alright. Um, let's see. This one time I hotwired the intercom to play All Star by Smash Mouth throughout the whole school." Sirius cracked up so hard he had to hold his ribs when he laughed so he didn't cry. Remus blushed. "Yeah, they actually let us out of school early, cause they couldn't figure out who did it, or how to turn it off." Sirius had tears streaming down his cheeks. Remus quietly noticed that he really liked how Sirius looked laughing like that, his eyes and nose all scrunched up.

"Please say you have more. Tell me another one," Sirius gasped in between giggles.

Remus thought for a bit, "You can buy really cheap alarm clocks for like a dollar, so I bought like twenty-"

"Naturally."

"And then I hid them all in my English classroom before school, and set them to go off every two minutes during that class. It was the best class of the day." Sirius was laughing so hard Remus thought he might hurt himself.

"You are an evil mastermind my friend. You could topple empires with this level of intellect, and you're using your smarts to set alarm clocks. I love it." Sirius choked out. "We should play a prank on our school."

"I don't know. If this is the school I'm going to be staying at for the rest of the year, I'd rather not get expelled."

"You've gotten caught before?"

Remus smirked, "No, but I've never worked with amateurs." He looked Sirius up and down.

Sirius clutched a hand to his chest and feigned shock. This was mostly just to hide the fact that he was blushing. Damn could Remus make a guy feel special with that stare.

They chatted for the rest of the day, pausing occasionally to eat their sandwiches, to hand their friends their sandwiches, or to talk to their friends. But for both of them, although neither knew the other felt the same, they were the only two people on the beach.

Sirius told Remus that he thought he had dyslexia, and that maybe that's why he wasn't doing so great in school even though he felt he was trying really, really hard. Remus offered to help him study, or to go with him to get tested.

Remus told Sirius that he had never had a friend over to his house, and Sirius very eagerly volunteered to be the first.

Sirius told him how it was confusing to him that he still loved his brother even though his brother always took his parent's side. He also told him that he wasn't even sure that he hated his parents, and sometimes he wasn't sure if he was right or wrong in the situation. Remus told him it didn't matter if he was right or wrong, violence shouldn't have been used to end the situation. Remus told him that even if he was wrong, he didn't deserve that. And he told him that family is complicated, and sometimes we love people even when they don't deserve it. But it doesn't make us wrong or stupid for loving them anyways.

It was silent for a bit. Then Remus spoke again. "It's also ok to hate your family. If its justifiable. The fact that they're your family, doesn't mean they automatically deserve your love." Sirius wanted so badly to reach out and grab Remus's hand at that moment. He didn't though, just muttered a simple "thank you."

They talked about light hearted things too. Like how Remus was an avid Game of Thrones fan, and didn't think he could survive two years without the next season. They talked about how Sirius could play the piano, but only by ear, and how he was currently teaching himself to play Seasons of Love from Rent.

"Oh that song gets me every time," Remus sighed.

"You've seen it!?"

Then they talked about Rent, and the abundance of musicals both of them had seen. Music seemed so comforting to Sirius, Remus noticed. It was like there was something about books that was locked away to him, but he understood music, could work with it, could play with it. And he was right. Sirius loved music. He loved listening to it, singing it. It was how he had taught himself most of the languages he knew, by listening to music in those languages. Music seemed to speak to him in a way that plain words could not.

The sky grew darker and eventually the rest of the gang wandered back to the blanket where Sirius and Remus sat, joining the conversation one by one. Around seven, they all piled back into the car, Peter sitting on the floor this time so Remus could have a seat.

Everyone was exhausted.

Five minutes into the car ride, Sirius felt a slight pressure on his shoulder, and looked down seeing a mess of brown-blond curls. Remus had fallen asleep next to him, his head on his shoulder. Lily looked over at them and smiled, laughing a bit at Sirius's wide eyed expression.

The others were careful to talk quietly, so they didn't wake him up. Sirius, however, didn't breathe the whole ride home


	20. Chapter 20

Sirius and James had rolled back into James's driveway around 10:00 after a couple more hours of laughing, some cheerful goodbyes, wishes for good Sundays, and a promise that they would all see each other at school on Monday. Sirius's heart was doing parkour in his chest, remembering the pressure of Remus's head on his shoulder, how flushed he'd gotten when he'd woken up, the little half circle of freckles under his left eye that Sirius had noticed when Remus was saying goodbye.

Exhausted, the two of them got ready for bed in near silence, going through the little dance they had adapted to so they could both get in and out of James's bathroom. James went in first, while Sirius brushed out his hair, grabbed his toothbrush, put toothpaste on it, and got it wet. Then he got out of the bathroom and walked a full circle around his room, allowing Sirius just enough time to get his toothbrush and get out, just as James walked back in to spit. Then it was Sirius's turn to walk the circle, while James rinsed with mouthwash and grabbed his own brush. Then he walked out and sat at his desk, brushing his hair, while Sirius went in to spit and wash his face. They switched places once more, James to take out his contacts and Sirius to change in the bedroom. James came out, changed as well and then they both slipped under his very mature covers, lime green and speckled with soccer balls.

They laid there for a bit, Sirius on his back and James curled on his side. James was quickly falling asleep, the events of the day catching up to him. Sirius however was slowly going crazy. Finally he decided to break the silence just so he didn't have to listen to the pounding of his own heart anymore.

"James?"

"mmm?" Came the sleepy reply. The thought of how badly this had gone last time suddenly replayed in his mind, making his ribs ache. He almost lost the nerve, and muttered _nothing_ but then steeled himself. This was different. James was important to him and he was _choosing_ to tell him. Not being ambushed. James would understand right?

Suddenly he wished he weren't about to announce this while lying an inch away in the other boy's bed. But he thought of all the weird shit he and James had gone through in the past and if that hadn't made things weird, then this wouldn't either, right? Sirius took a shuddering breath.

"What, Sirius?" James was up now, sensing that this wasn't a conversation to have half asleep.

Sirius stalled again. Was he really about to do this.

"I want to talk to you about something."

"No shit, Sherlock." James smiled through the dark.

"Fuck you, Watson." Came Sirius's automatic reply. It made James laugh like it always did.

Sirius took advantage of James's little laughing fit, blurting it out over the noise, half hoping he didn't hear it.

"I'm gay."

Silence

"I mean….I kind of figured." Definitely not what Sirius had been expecting.

"You figured? How did you figure? I didn't even know I was gay, the fuck?"

James rolled over on his side. "Sirius, our freshman year of high school, you dated almost half of the freshman class, and yet you have never in your life been serious about a girl. And these were attractive girls. I never saw you get nervous for a date, I never saw you show genuine interest in kissing a girl, sleeping with a girl, even though you have. You talked about it like it was expected of you. Like you could do it, but didn't see the point."

Sirius didn't know what to say.

"I mean, all I have to do is look at Lily, and all of a sudden my knees don't work anymore. She starts to speak and it's like the rest of the world just melts away. My mouth goes dry, my palms start dripping, I can feel my heartbeat in my throat. It's the fucking worst, but it's her man. I just can't get over _her._ I never saw that with you. And that's ok, because we're young and maybe you just weren't there yet. I just thought being gay might be an explanation for that." James stopped and looked at his best friend, fearing he had maybe gone too far.

But Sirius was just relieved that James wasn't grossed out, or uncomfortable. It was stupid, he realized, that he even had thought that James would be.

"If you thought I was gay, then why did you give me such a hard time about that girl you thought I had a crush on?" Sirius said.

"From that one day at the mall? Because I saw it man. I had never seen you like that before. Flustered, weak at the knees, shaky, confused. It only took one look. I thought you had found her. Why wouldn't I want that for you. And why wouldn't I want to know who it was." He smiled at Sirius. He was like a brother, and James wanted the best for him just like he would for anyone in his family.

But then…Sirius and James both realized the day they were talking about, the people that had been around, and both boys put the pieces together at the same time.

"Wait…" James hesitated.

"No."

"WAIT"

"NO"

"Not-"

"No." Sirius couldn't believe he had brought it up. He didn't want this much to be public knowledge, especially after the events of the last few days.

"If not a girl….and if not Marlene, the only other barista, the only other GUY barista…" Sirius cringed as James put it together out loud.

"No."

"Remus?" James asked, looking at Sirius with his hands over his face and already knowing the answer.

Sirius didn't respond.

"Sirius? Is it Remus?"

Sirius looked up. He had faced so many things tonight, one more couldn't hurt that bad. "Yes."

"Oh Sirius, you have much better taste in guys than you do in girls." They locked eyes and cracked up again.

The laughter finally subsided, and Sirius could speak again.

"I'd appreciate if this could, you know, not be something we tell the others." Sirius pleaded, knowing that he already asked James to keep so many secrets for him.

"Ok. But I don't think anyone would care."

"You're probably right, but I don't think it would make it easier to stifle my crush on Remus if everyone knew I was gay. Actually I think it would make it noticeably harder."

"What if you told him about it."

"What if you told Lily you've been in love with her for four years."

"Fair point. "

The boys settled back down into the bed. Then, breaking the silence once more James whispered, "Sirius, is that what the fight was about?"

Sirius gritted his teeth, the pain still fresh. "Yes," he said in a low voice that was almost a growl, almost a whimper.

"I am so fucking sorry."


	21. Chapter 21

Remus got home much later than he normally did so he wasn't surprised when his mother was sitting in her armchair in the living room waiting for him.

"A text would have been nice." She placed her book aside and folded her hands in her lap.

"I know. I was just out with some friends." Hope was desperately trying to keep her stern mother face on, but she couldn't fight the smile that lit up her face when she heard that sentence.

"Ok," she whispered, the edge of her voice completely gone. "Try and get some sleep tonight." And she picked her book back up as Remus shuffled up the stairs. "I love you."

"Love you too mom." Remus called back as he walked into his room.

Remus collapsed face first onto his bed. His primary symptom of his HIV was chronic fatigue. Even though the day was normal stuff for every other teenager, staying up late and then out all the next day took a toll on Remus's body like he had run a marathon. He was exhausted. Every bone was sore, every joint ached, and his brain felt like it was burning. It took all the effort he had left to pull off his clothes and turn on the shower, as hot as it could go. Standing there naked in the bathroom, his knees aching, he decided against a shower, and pushed the lever so that the water ran out of the lower faucet instead, drawing him a bath.

Once the tub was full, he slipped his lanky body into the scalding water and leaned back, almost melting into the edge of the tub. God it had been a day. He sat there for a while, just letting the warm water dissipate the pain that felt like it was tearing his body apart.

Was it weird that he had fallen asleep on Sirius's shoulder? To be fair, the day had drained him so much that he had almost fallen asleep during their conversation a few times, so he supposed it was better than that. He just hoped he hadn't scared the other boy off.

And Sirius had been through so much Remus hadn't realized. And he was still so vibrant and full of life. So compassionate and caring about his friends even though the world had crushed him and kept kicking him while he was down. Remus smiled, eyes still closed, as he remembered their conversation during the day. All the things he had learned about his new friend and all the stuff he had shared with the other boy. Sirius, he realized, probably knew more about him now than any other person on earth.

And then he remembered all the times he felt himself falling in love with Sirius. The way he talked, the way he held himself, the way he could still hope for the best after everything had gone wrong. But each time he felt himself falling today, he caught himself. He shoved the feelings away, changed the subject, did anything to ignore the feelings growing up inside him.

For the first time in his life Remus's brain allowed him to entertain the one thought that scared him down to his very core. What if he came out? Told his friends and everything. People would know, he wouldn't have to awkwardly worm his way out of date offers, and he might actually get a date he was interested in. But his body froze again as he realized coming out to his friends would eventually lead to having to come out to his parents. He was fairly certain his friends would take the news in stride. They were amazing and with all the secrets he harbored, he couldn't imagine that the gay one would be the one to turn them away. But his parents. He knew they loved him, but they also worried about him. His mother would worry about him getting bullied, about herself not being accepting enough, about the implications of being gay and having HIV. His father would worry about his image at work, how having a gay son with HIV would reflect on him as a father, but mainly his father would be disappointed. Remus knew his father loved him, but there were times when it seems like he wished his son could be a bit more normal. Sometimes it seemed like he wished Remus was just a little bit less of a hassle.

And he didn't want that. He didn't want to see the disappointment in his father's eyes grow, didn't want to expand on the worry his mother already felt. And Remus had already resigned himself to dating once he got to college, or even after. He had also resigned himself to the fact that he might not date at all. Dating meant telling someone about his HIV. It also meant eventually Remus would have to introduce his partner to his parents, so dating meant eventually coming out. And he just didn't know if he could.

But when he had resigned himself to those futures, there hadn't been anybody else. There hadn't been anyone he had been this interested in, anyone he wanted. And sitting there alone in his bath tub, Remus wondered if there was any chance at all that Sirius felt the same way.

But thinking only made his tired brain hurt worse, and soon he was asleep in tub.

He woke up an hour later, his mother knocking on the door.

"You ok, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, I think I fell asleep. I'll be out in a second." The water was now freezing, and his skin was wrinkled. He got out, his body considerably less sore, but aching none the less, and wrapped himself in a towel.

His mother was sitting on his bed when he walked into his room. "God, Mom, I have to change you know."

"I know. I just want to make sure you're being careful when you're out with your friends. You have to make smart decisions you know."

"Yeah I know. Can I please put pajamas on so I can go to bed. I'm exhausted."

"Ok. I just worry you know."

He knew.

She closed the door on her way out. Remus put on his warmest pajamas, the cold water still chilling his bones, and brushed his teeth. He was asleep seconds after he crawled into bed.


	22. Chapter 22

Remus woke up the next morning around 11:00 to a record of 27 new messages.

James (Wake up fuckers I miss you)

Lily(It's 8:00 in the morning on a Sunday and you woke me up. I hate you)

James(No you don't Evans)

Peter(I have a bruise on my face from the frisbee. #thanksMarlene)

Marlene(It's not my fault you're better at catching with your face than with your hands)

Sirius(#sickburn)

Alice(Why all the hashtags)

Sirius(#whynot)

Peter(#whynot)

Peter(dammit Sirius you beat me)

Marlene(#awkward)

Frank(You guys are weird)

James(What's everyone doing today?)

Lily(Nothing)

Alice(Nothing)

Frank(nothing)

Peter(same)

Sirius(What an interesting lot we are)

James(we should do something)

Lily(lol we just saw each other yesterday)

James(well you can't tell me everyone is busy)

Sirius(wait someone is missing)

Marlene(REM)

Lily(REM)

Sirius(REM!)

James(REM)

Alice(REM)

Geez, couldn't get an hour alone with these guys. But Remus smiled, knowing he'd rather spend the rest of his life being bugged by these people than spend one minute not knowing them. He hastily typed his reply.

(It's Remus)

Sirius(ah, classic Rem)

Remus laughed. What an ass.

He climbed out of bed, his bones considerably less sore than they were last night, and pulled a t-shirt over his head. He yanked his pajama pants off so he was just in his boxers, and wandered into the bathroom to brush his teeth. His hair was a mess, but his brush was too far away, so he just ran his fingers through his hair and meandered downstairs for breakfast, smiling at his phone.

James(ANYWAYS, now that we're all here. We should do something)

Frank(we heard you the first time)

James(no need to be RUDE)

Remus slid into his seat at the kitchen table, where his mom was cooking eggs at the stove. His father had already left for work, it was 11:30 in the morning, but his mother had Sunday's off, and always made Remus breakfast. The same thing every time: two eggs, two pieces of toast, cream cheese and orange juice. Breakfast of champions.

She slid his plate in front of him, confused as she had never seen her son like this before. Smiling at the bright screen in front of him. Then hastily typing, then smiling again.

"Ahem."

"hahahaha uh- oh what?"

"I asked who you were texting?" She crossed her arms trying to look stern.

"Oh…" Remus shyly ran his hands through his hair. "Just some friends."

"The same friends you were gallivanting through the countryside with last night?"

"I wouldn't call it gallivanting."

"Well what would you call it?"

"God mom, we were just hanging out."

"I'd like to meet these people you know."

"Yeah I know." Hope Lupin ruffled her son's hair, which he angrily fixed, and let him eat the rest of his breakfast in peace.

It was a lazy Sunday morning in every sense of the word. Remus stumbled around the house groggily for a few hours doing chores. He washed the dishes after breakfast, threw his laundry in the washing machine. He took the trash out to the dumpster, and started to clean his room. All of this, interspersed with texts from his friends.

He rarely replied, content to just sit back and read what was going on, rather than contribute and mess it up somehow. Regardless, someone always seemed to pull him back into the conversation.

James(We should all go get dinner together)

Lily(where?)

James(Any votes?)

Marlene(mexican)

Frank(^^yes)

Alice(yes)

Sirius(I'm down)

Lily(I guess)

Sirius(you gotta vote too Remus)

Remus(I like Mexican)

Soon plans were solidified and Remus wandered downstairs to ask his mother if he could go to El Jimador around 6:30.

Chaos was slowly entering the Potter household.

"It doesn't look right, Sir. I hate it. It- ARGH how do I fix it?" James was standing in front of his bathroom mirror staring defeatedly at his hair. Sirius laughed.

"It looks fine mate. Just brush it maybe, instead of trying to use your fingers like you're five."

"I just want to look nice ok?"

"Are you going to sit by her? Should I bring a paper bag in case you hyperventilate."

"Worry about your own love life, Sirius. We can talk about that if you'd like." That shut Sirius up.

It was 6:15 and the boys were dressed and in the drive way, climbing into James's car.

"You have to sit next to him." James said smiling like an idiot. The fact that Sirius had an actual real life crush was the greatest news he had ever been given.

"Yeah I was planning on that mate."

"You should ask him out."

"mmm bit too forward I think." Sirius swallowed, trying to pretend that this idea didn't give him waking nightmares. "You should ask Lily out."

"I think I might."

"Wait, what!?" Sirius was shocked. That statement usually got met with blushful excuses and a whole lot of stuttering. "You mean like tonight?"

"I don't know. Maybe…Eventually. But don't change the subject. You should ask him out."

"We don't even know if he's gay mate. What if he isn't."

"The worst thing that could happen is he says no."

"Yeah we're not at the point where I could handle that."

"I could find out if he's gay for you."

"For the love of god James, do not embarrass me tonight."

Pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant, James and Sirius headed inside, taking a seat at the booth in the back with the rest of their friends.

"Long time no see" Frank chuckled, good naturedly. James had to elbow past Peter to get a spot next to Lily, but Peter was content to wedge himself between Alice and Marlene. Remus took one of the empty spots beside James and Sirius took the last spot next to Remus. James threw Sirius a knowing look and then scooted over towards Remus, nudging him into Sirius's side.

"Oh sorry." Remus put a hand on Sirius's hip to steady himself. "Tight fit."

"It's ok." Sirius glared at James. Soon the table was just as rambunctious as any other time the gang got together. Orders had long been forgotten as everybody talked, and laughed, and teased each other.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: I'm Baaaaaaaack

Dinner went by way too fast. Soon they were all in the parking lot hugging each other goodbye.

"See you in McGonagall's class tomorrow." Remus hugged Lily. "I have to finish that homework tonight." Sirius blanched.

"We have homework due tomorrow?" Have the group turned their heads.

"Yeah? And essay on one of the major themes in A Study in Scarlet." A couple "Oh shits" resounded through the group.

Goodbyes were finalized. Sirius didn't know if it would be weird to hug Remus goodbye, so he went for an awkward fist bump that turned into an awkward hand shake, that turned into an awkward wave. James was trying to stifle his laughter as they climbed into his car.

"You're a mess man."

"Whatever." Sirius sunk low in his seat. He felt like everything he had said to Remus today had been weird, and clingy, and annoying. He got so many butterflies when he had seen him that it almost hurt to be in the same room.

"For real mate, I think he might like you." James flicked his headlights on and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Stop it." Sirius whispered.

"Nah man, he kept looking at you. Not like regular looking, like _looking_ looking."

"Stop it." Sirius said a little louder.

"And he kept fixing his hair. Like obsessively. Like how I fix my hair when Lily's around."

"James, stop!" Sirius was just below shouting now.

James looked a little taken aback. "What, mate? Isn't this what you want?"

"It's not that simple."

"The hell do you mean? Of course it is. He likes you, you like him, what's complicated about that?"

"No, it's not."

"Well why the hell not?" James looked a bit mad now. He never got to play matchmaker for his best friend and Sirius was kind of ruining his thrill.

"This isn't like you and Lily. You at least know that she likes guys."

"How does that make it different. Lily could just as well like girls for all we know. You shouldn't assume that just-"

"Stop, James. I am so happy that we are finally starting to live in a world where lgbtq+ people feel accepted and safe, but it is statistically more likely for Lily to be straight than gay. AND it is statistically more likely for Remus to be straight than gay."

"Come on Sir-"

"Shut up and let me finish." Sirius took a breath. "Don't you think I see the things you do? That I don't see him fix his hair, don't see him wipe his sweaty palms on his jeans, don't see him lose his breath cause he's nervous. Don't you think I see him blush?

"I do see it, I see it all. I'm overanalyzing every movement he makes, in my head, at all times. Every time he does something like that, I try and remember exactly what I just did so I can try and guess if all of this is for me. That it's me he likes. That he's not blushing over Marlene, or Lily. Because either one of those choices is plausible for him, even likely.

"And yeah people are starting to accept homosexuality, but we also live in a world where queerness isn't always looked at as a good thing. I got kicked out of my fucking house James. And what if he's not gay, or even, what if he's against it. Or what if anyone else in the group is against it. And coming out to them makes a mess of things. And I lose friends over this stupid fucking thing that I can't change.

"But mostly, what if it makes him uncomfortable. Don't you think I want to get to do the things you can do with Lily? The way you can make that flirty eye contact at her when she talks to you. The way that you can brush you hand against her arm, or walk so close to her that your hips are touching, and she doesn't fucking wince. I go to high school James, I see how fucking scared straight guys are of people like me. You do those things to Lily and its cute, and romantic. EVEN IF SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. If Remus doesn't like me, which is so painfully likely, then it's not cute. It makes me a predator. Any unwanted sexual advance I make would come off as disgusting. I wouldn't ever get to speak to him again. I wouldn't dare make him uncomfortable no matter how much I like him.

"It is so easy for you to assume that Lily likes guys, and flirt with her with no consequences, or backlash. I am analyzing every fucking move I make around him. I can't just assume he likes guys, let alone me, and I am so so terrified to ask. So, no James, it's not that fucking simple."

Stunned, James pulled into the driveway and turned the engine off. "I had no idea it was like that." Sirius didn't say anything. He just sat there with his arms crossed, looking straight ahead.

"But I do know," James continued, "That all of your friends love you, and no one, not one of them, would hate you for being gay. Honestly, you coming out would be a lot more normal than most of the things we talk about at lunch." Sirius grinned a little at that.

"Seriously man, I know exactly how and where Alice would hide a body. It would be just another day." Sirius laughed a little but his voice broke.

"What if you're wrong." He whispered. "I don't think I can do it."

"Hey, I'm not saying you have to do it tomorrow. I'm just saying, the world's not going to end when you do." Sirius looked down at his feet. James's heart broke for him. He couldn't imagine having to hide something that was such huge part of himself to everyone that loved him. He wanted to help, but didn't know how.

"Uh…. I don't know. What if there's a way for us to test the waters a bit. Let you see what they think about it?"

Sirius looked up. "How in the world?"

"Like mention someone gay in passing. See if anyone passes out."

"Haha don't be an ass. You really think that would work?"

"Oh you know what? Isn't Sherlock gay?"

"Huh?"

"I mean I don't think it's ever explicitly said, but pretty much everyone thought he was hella gay for Watson. I bet talking about gay theories about our english homework would be a good way to get our feet wet."

"I think you're insane, but I also don't hate this idea."

"Awesome, tomorrow at lunch?" They were interrupted by a tap on James's car window. He turned around to find his mother in her bathrobe.

"Are you boys planning on coming inside?" She smiled at them as the tumbled out of the car. "How was dinner?"

"Delightful." James replied. "We've got homework to do though." And with that James and Sirius dragged their feet up the stairs to James's room, neither one of them really in the mood to write an essay.


	24. Chapter 24

First period the next morning was filled with a bunch of zombie like teenagers turning in essays they had totally forgotten about until the last minute. At least everyone had an essay this time.

McGonagall went on an on about the ins and outs of nineteenth century literature, while Sirius, Remus, James, Lily, Peter, and Marlene struggled to keep their eyes open.

A small slip of paper slid its way onto Sirius's desk. _This class is killing me,_ it read. _Wake me if I start to snore._ Sirius looked over to where Remus had laid his head down on his desk. Everyone thought the boy was such a good student, Sirius mused, but he was just as good a procrastinator as the rest of them. There's a difference between studious and smart, I guess, Sirius thought to himself. Still he couldn't stop the grin from spreading across his face at that fact that Remus had passed a note to _him._

 _Passing notes in McGonagall's class again?_ Sirius scribbled discreetly on the paper. _You live on the edge, Lupin._ Making sure McGonagall wasn't looking he slid the paper halfway under his other classmate's elbow. A few seconds later, the paper entirely disappeared under his arm as Remus pulled the paper the rest of the way through. Moments passed as he scribbled something else. Then he folded up the paper and flicked it smoothly back onto Sirius's desk.

 _Danger is my middle name._ Next to the scribble was a crude drawing of what Sirius thought was a guy wearing sunglasses and doing finger guns. What a dork. He chuckled a bit, but turned it into a cough when it earned him a glare from the professor. He decided it was probably safer to continue the conversation after class.

The bell rang, and everyone packed up their bags and ambled out to the hallway. James pulled Sirius aside as soon as they had left the classroom. "Passing notes? That Remus himself initiated? I'm getting good signals her mate."

"Shove off, James. You're reading too much into it."

"Note passing is not something I do with people I don't like."

"You pass notes with me all the time. You have a crush on me now?"

"What? No. We're best friends. It's different." James retorted.

"Exactly. Remus and I are just good friends." Sirius sighed as James split off to his next class, and he walked into Professor Binn's classroom to take his usual seat next to Remus.

During the entirety of professor Binn's monotonous lecture, Sirius found himself analyzing Remus's every move.

Was that smile Remus had just flashed flirty or platonic?

It was definitely flirty. Both boys had resigned to the fact that they were completely sure the other boy wasn't interested. But while Sirius had just decided to stomach his crush, Remus had decided to see how much he could flirt without getting caught. Regular Remus may always be remarkably poised and reserved, but bored Remus was missing a little thing the kids call dignity. It had been months since his last prank, and in his entertainment starved mind, this sounded like a brilliant idea. He knew, well he thought, nothing would come of it. Honestly it was just a way to pass time in classes he could pass without ever paying attention.

Remus whispered a joke to Sirius under his breath that immediately had Sirius trying to stifle his laughter. Again, Sirius's mind reeled. _Is he trying to make me laugh as a friend or as more than a friend? Also, am I blushing?_

 _Ugh,_ Sirius thought, _I'm just reading too much into it, exactly like James._

Remus sat across the aisle thinking equally off topic thoughts. _If I wink at him, is that too straight forward?_

Thankfully, the bell rang before Remus could decide. Nothing made him crazier than boredom. The rest of the boy's classes passed smoothly, and soon it was lunch time.

Everyone crowded around a lunch table echoing each other's complaints of how tired they were.

"That essay was probably the worst I've ever written." Peter groaned, "Can't wait for the D McGonagall is gonna hand me tomorrow."

"He wants the D!" Marlene cackled, sending the rest of the girls into fits of giggles.

"You guys are SO immature." Frank chastised halfheartedly.

The giggles eventually died down. "Geez, I don't even remember what the essay was supposed to be about. Just something about Sherlock." Lily said, rubbing the bags under her eyes.

James patted Sirius's arm, obviously excited about something. "I, for one, am thoroughly enjoying Sherlock." He spat out, louder than was probably necessary. "But let's talk about how gay it is." Sirius blanched. Oh my god. Smooth opening James.

Lily choked on her drink. "Ok, James. Tell us about how gay it is."

"Oh, come on, we all know it. Sherlock Holmes is one hundred percent in love with John Watson."

Frank was the only one who looked surprise, but not an avid reader, he was usually a bit lost in these type discussions. "Ok, I am all about the gay, but I have never heard this theory."

"It's almost entirely accepted, or at least validated, today." Remus chimed in. "I mean it was written in the Victorian era, and the language Holmes uses to describe Watson is wildly endearing, and way too informal for a male friendship at that time. He also often uses the word 'helpmate', which was synonymous to spouse." Again, Sirius's mind reeled. _Nerd or gay, nerd or gay, nerd or gay?_

"And even going beyond pure language, Watson actually faints in the story where he realizes that Sherlock faked his death and isn't actually gone. And in another story, The Three Garridebs I think, Watson gets shot and Sherlock has a full on melt down. The two even live together for a while, and roommates were definitely not a thing in Victorian era England. At least not platonic roommates. And yes, Watson does get married, but he's typically perfectly content to up and leave his wife every time Sherlock needs him." Remus finished to a silent lunch table. "I mean, at the least, they were really close."

James was furiously hitting Sirius's thigh under the table, a huge smile on his face. Sirius flashed his eyes at him. This didn't mean anything. This didn't necessarily mean anything.

"Ok, so we all know Sherlock is gay. Why did you want to talk about this, James?" Lily sipped her drink. "Something to tell us?"

"Hypothetical question." Sirius pinched James under the table as hard as he could. James jumped but kept going. "If I did come out. Like today. As gay. How would you react."

"Uh, something to tell us?" Marlene asked, confused.

"Purely hypothetical, I promise. Think of it like a poll." James took immense pride in the fact that Lily had looked disappointed when he had posed the question.

"Haha what year do you think it is?" Alice asked. "Are you expecting us to act like bigots, or ostracize you, or some crazy shit like that? Cause in my opinion, nothing would change. Except maybe I would understand your obsession with Iron Man a little bit more."

"Hey Iron Man is literally a god; don't you dare disrespect him." James pointed a finger at a laughing Alice.

"Yeah, I'd have to agree with Alice." Marlene said. "We'd still make fun of you, no matter who you fantasize about snogging on the weekends."

"Good to know. I'm not gay, by the way. Just putting it out there. The gays would be lucky to have me, but unfortunately, I play for the other team." James grinned. No one else really understood the purpose of this conversation.

Sirius was quiet. He was glad his friends wouldn't care one way or the other. He had known they wouldn't, deep down, but coming out still scared the living shit out of him. But there was one other thing. During the whole conversation, Remus hadn't said a word.


	25. Chapter 25

After school, most of the gang split off to go to work. Remus and Marlene were back behind the counter of the grungy mall coffee shop.

"Feels like we haven't had the same shift in forever." Marlene patted Remus on the shoulder as she walked past him to the cappuccino machine.

"Yeah I know." Remus chuckled. "It's a wonder they keep this place open, the amount of times we call in sick to hang out."

"Don't they only have one other barista?"

"Yeah, Severus something. Kind of a dick in my opinion. But he's quiet enough that it's mostly tolerable." Remus rambled, artfully topping a Frappuccino with whipped cream. "Wait, you've never had a shift with him?"

"Nope. Would have remembered a name like Severus. Guess you have to be a dick with that name." Marlene smiled as she handed a balding man a steamer with a shot of espresso. "Besides, it's normally just me, or me and you. Management here is shit at scheduling."

"Yeah, whatever. I'm just glad they believe all my sick calls." Remus smiled and Marlene laughed.

The rest of their shift seemed to pass in a blur. Remus would smile, and take orders, and smile, and make orders, and smile, and hand out orders. All in all, it was a bit too much smiling for him. Occasionally he would glance up at the Hot Topic across the walkway. Sirius' shift didn't start until about an hour into Remus's, so the first few glances, much to Remus's disappointment, met the eyes of a vaguely goth, and heavily made up girl. But finally, he caught sight of that beautiful wavy black hair bobbing up and down, as Sirius Black himself walked into the store, hopped over the counter, and relieved the girl of her shift.

"Hey Lestrange. Don't smile, it makes you look terrifying." This comment didn't seem to phase the girl in the least.

"Thanks for taking your sweet time getting over here. Not like I have places to be." She packed up her stuff and ducked under the counter, making her way out. At the door, she turned on her heel and stared at Sirius inquisitively.

"Fuck off, Bella." Again, she remained stone faced. She walked back over to him and leaned over the counter, pointing across the mall.

"What do you know about that guy?" Sirius's eyes roamed all the way down her arm, past the tip of her finger, right onto the blonde, curly head of Remus Lupin.

"Why?"

"He's been staring at me for the past hour. I was gonna try and go get his number." Sirius tried not to visibly gag. Bellatrix was horrendous in his opinion and the thought of Remus voluntarily giving her his number made him sick.

"Doesn't seem like your usual type. He's not bald and 15 years older than you."

Bellatrix grimaced. "I told you, fuckface, I broke up with Tom. Answer my question."

"I don't think you'll have much luck. He's gay."

"Bummer," Bellatrix muttered, and stalked off without another word.

Sirius sighed. _He might be gay, but only in my dreams._ He looked over at Remus again, this time meeting the boy's eyes. Remus smiled. Sirius tried not to melt.

Across the mall at Starbucks, Remus got the feeling that something was off with Marlene. She kept throwing him sideways glances in between orders. There was a lull in customers later into the afternoon and, although his back was turned cleaning the counter, it was like he had felt her start to say something several times and then think better of it. Every time she looked at him, she seemed to blush and turn away before he could say anything. He almost got the feeling that she was….nervous? She seemed to be acting a little too similar to the way Remus tried desperately not to act like when Sirius was in the room. Wait, did Marlene have a crush on him?

Remus cringed a little bit. He really didn't know how he would turn her away without telling her he was gay, something he didn't really want to do presently. It's hard to outwardly flirt with your best friend out of boredom when everyone knows your gay. That…complicates things.

The thing was, he had no reason to not like Marlene, except for, you know, the blatant homosexuality. Besides the fact that they got along great, Marlene was the type of girl every high school guy wanted. She was the type of girl that guys would put pictures of on their ceiling. The girl that had everyone vying to be her prom date. Objectively, Remus had to agree that she was very pretty. It's just that she didn't have a dick.

Marlene continued to act dodgy, and Remus continued to fight the urge to shout, "Sorry I'm super gay!" Albeit, Remus's urge was pretty easy to suppress as he was constantly finding excuses to look over at Sirius.

Finally, their shift came to a close. Remus started packing up the various milk jugs, and spices, and teas, while Marlene wiped a counter, very very slowly. Like, painstakingly slow. Finally, she turned around and blurted out, "Remus I think I know."

Remus's heart stopped, and his blood turned to ice as only one thing ran through his mind. Unfortunately, when someone says "I know" you can only think of your biggest secret. He retraced every step he had taken since he had met Marlene. Had she seen the pill alarm on his phone? Had she seen a doctor's appointment reminder? Heard him talking to his mom? Had he dropped a needle in front of her? Did he say something? He was always so careful. So god damn careful. He slowly, slowly turned around, trying to will the color back into his face. "Sorry, what?"

"I mean just piecing things together, I don't want to assume, but it's true isn't it." Marlene was one of his best friends, and staring at her right now, he couldn't lie to her face.

"Yes, but how-"

"James." Remus froze. James knew too? How the fuck did James know? Why was he telling people? "then the whole conversation at lunch." Remus felt his heart shatter, as he watched his greatest fear materialize in front of his eyes.

"You guys talked about this behind my back?"

"What—No, you were there." Remus blinked, confused.

"I think I would have remembered. AIDs is a pretty heavy topic." He tried to steady the tremor in his voice.

"You don't remember? It was toda-." Marlene froze, "Wait, what!?" Her voice was a hoarse whisper.

Remus's heart dropped out of his throat all the way to the bottom of his stomach. "What," He whispered, barely audible.

Marlene's jaw was on the floor as she utterly tried to re-cover the massive secret she had accidently uncovered. "AIDs? Remus, oh Remus no. No I thought you were gay. With the thing James brought up, and you've never really dated anyone, and I know you guys are close and I thought he was just testing the waters for you. But AIDs, oh my fucking god, Remus I am so sorry, I am so sorry, I can't imagine, oh my fucking go-." To Marlene's bewilderment, and his own, Remus started laughing.

It started in the back of his throat and just kind of rolled through him, deep maniacal chuckles. Remus felt like he was floating, or having an out of body experience, or both. Marlene had correctly guessed one of his biggest secrets, and in his idiot panic he had outed his other biggest secret. Why not come clean now. Why the fucking hell not. Remus was falling off the edge of a cliff, and he couldn't tell if he would still have any of his friends when he landed at the bottom.

Marlene was staring at him frozen in terror. Seeing him laughing in this context was like staring at a car accident. You didn't know if you should be looking or not. Finally, he caught his breath, wiped a stray tear out of the corner of his eye and straightened up. "You're right." He croaked, his voice a little hoarse.

"What?" Marlene had no idea what she had done.

"You're right. I am so fucking gay." She half laughed with him, at the bizarreness of what had just happened. "I'd appreciate it though if this…if both of these things were kept under wraps."

"Yeah. Oh my fucking god of course. I am so sorry Remus, I didn't mean to pry." But Remus shook his head and wearily smiled.

"I'm kind of glad someone knows." By now some of the lights in the mall were being shut off. They finished cleaning, a strong sort of solidarity between them, and started to leave when Sirius bounded over with James.

"What the hell was so funny?"


	26. Chapter 26

Walking back into school the next morning, Remus was feeling a weird mixture of elation and terror. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest, but had been simultaneously been replaced with a time bomb and he couldn't see the timer. Somebody _knew_. Holy fucking shit, somebody knew. He hesitated standing in front of the doors to the school. If he turned around now, he could probably make it home before his mom left to work. And if she was sidetracked with getting ready, it would be easier to convince her he needed to change schools again, right?

James Potter's arm linked through his before he could make a decision.

"What's up mate?" He smiled as he dragged Remus into the building, Sirius accompanying them on Remus's other side. "So, me and Sir were thinking…"

"We were?" Sirius interrupted. Clearly this wasn't a discussion they had had prior.

"You don't remember?" James asked, throwing Sirius a devilish wink. "We were thinking about hanging out at my house tonight. You know a guy's night – No - a stag night if you will."

"Stag night, as in strippers?" Remus asked confused. He had never heard the words "stag night" strung together outside of a small budget movie.

"Hey, if that's what it takes to get you there, man." Remus blushed. Not exactly what he meant. Sirius laughed when he noticed.

"We were thinking maybe like video games, and action movies," Sirius said, nudging Remus playfully on the shoulder. "We're inviting Peter and Frank too."

"Yeah!" James fist bumped the air. "No girls allowed!"

"Title of your sex tape?" Lily joked, overhearing the last part of the conversation as the three boys walked up to the rest of the group. Alice choked on her coffee.

"Doesn't matter what I call it, you'd still watch it, wouldn't you Evans." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Truth be told, she'd probably audition." Marlene quickly received a swat on the back of the head for her choice of comment. Both James and Lily were blushing so hard, you'd think that they would be bleeding out of their pores.

Still chuckling, Sirius detailed the plan for the night to Frank and Peter. Frank had previous arrangements (i.e. it was date night and he was whipped) but Peter said he would definitely be there. Soon the first bell rang, and the gang dispersed for their daily dose of public education.

Sirius pulled James over in the hallway. "Guys night? That plan came out of the blue."

"Relax. It's just guys hanging out being dudes being pals."

"This isn't you flirting with Remus for me, is it?"

"Dude. Come on. It's just a chance for you – for all of us - to get to know him better. It's not like we're gonna play spin the bottle or anything." James flashed his cheeky smile before he slipped into McGonagall's class, and flushed Sirius trailing behind him.

The rest of the day passed by uneventfully. James spent most of his classes wondering how he was going to ask Lily out, one day, eventually. Sirius used his time to decide what he was going to wear tonight, how he was going to act, if he should take a shower. Remus focused his energy on deciding if it was cool of him to bring Mario Kart. Was Mario Kart even still relevant? Were they going to make fun of him because he had barely any characters unlocked? Peter actually paid attention, the nerd. But soon classes were over, and everyone was headed to their cars promising to see each other soon.

Once he was by himself, driving home, to pick up Mario Kart and maybe brush his hair, Remus noticed that something had gone unnoticed. Marlene hadn't said anything. Or acted any different. At all. She had still talked to him at lunch, passed notes with him in english, waved at him in the hallway. It was almost as if this hadn't changed anything. She knew his biggest secret – his two biggest secrets – in the entire world, and still liked him enough to steal his fries and bring up inside jokes from work. He silently thanked her. That girl was a treasure.

He kissed his mom on the cheek when he got home, and ran up to his room to get his stuff. "James and Sirius invited me over. I'll be home later." That was a mistake. His mom followed him up to his room asking him questions about "these boys" and when he was going to invite them over, so she could meet them.

A few neighborhoods over, James was getting an equally large earful, but from a frantic teenaged boy.

"Does my hair look ok?"

"Yes, if you brush it any more it's all going to fall out."

"What!? Does it look thinner?"

"Oh my god relax, you lunatic."

"Do you think we should clean up a bit?" Sirius was frantically picking his underwear off the floor, and shoving shit in drawers.

"Afraid he won't like your Star Wars undies?" James, however, was nonchalantly lounging on his bed, not too worried what his friends would think of the massive pile of dirty clothes he had on his chair.

"James!"

"Sirius, they're _guys_. We're not expecting the Queen." Sirius glared at him anyways and continued to clean.

"How often do I wear this shirt?" Sirius asked, pondering his outfit in the mirror.

"The fuck?"

"Like do I wear this shirt around him too much? Should I go for a different one?"

"You look fine. Wow you really have it bad for this guy." James blanched, "Oh my god. Is this how I am about Lily. Is it _this_ annoying?"

Sirius's frantic features went deadpan as he turned to stare at James. "You're ten times worse, I promise you."

"Am not."

"James you've had me smell your breath for you." Sirius paused for a second. "Actually, could you check mine?"

"Not a fucking chance." James backed away as Sirius tried to chase him down and breathe in his face.

Thankfully, the doorbell rang, saving James from his manic pursuer. Remus and Peter stood on the doorstep.

"Hello boys." Mrs. Potter called from the kitchen, were she was making spaghetti for dinner.

"We'll be in my room mom!" James called as he led Remus and Peter up the stairs.

"I'll leave dinner on the stove for you!" Mrs. Potter shouted back up the stairs, but she had a feeling they would be holed up in James's room until well passed her bedtime.

Remus and Peter exchanged greetings with Sirius, who was laying on the bed, definitely not trying to act natural. "So!" James clapped his hands, "Any one want to play spin the bottle?" Sirius swung a pillow at his head.

Remus, confused, pulled something out of his backpack. "I brought Mario Kart?"

"An excellent alternative" Sirius sighed. The boys figured out how to set the game up and got down to choosing their players. James only had three remotes though, so Remus volunteered for position of cheerleader.

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked, "It's your game."

"Yeah, I'm shit at videogames anyways."

"Yeah no kidding." James said, "you've got no fucking characters."

"Shit," Peter said, "I always play as Daisy."

"Who?" Remus asked.

"Oh my god."

Soon the war was well underway.

"Bitch did you blueshell me?"

"Suck it Mario!"

Remus was in stitches, laughing as he watched Sirius spin off rainbow road and plummet to the earth.

"Fuck, I keep falling off the road." Sirius blew a strand of hair out of his eyes only for it to fall straight back into his face. "Damn it, I can't see with my hair in my eyes."

"Well, maybe if you didn't brush it five million times it wouldn't be so fluffy." James playfully nudged him, only making him fall off the road for a second time.

"Shut up James," Sirius growled.

"I could do something with it if you want." Remus said, trying to sound nonchalant, not like he just wanted to run his fingers through Sirius's hair. "I know how to braid."

"Yes. Um sure." Sirius was also trying to sound nonchalant, not like he just wanted Remus to run his fingers through his hair. "I think I have a hair tie on the dresser." Remus found one, sat cross legged on the bed behind Sirius, and got to work.

James smiled noticing that the number of times Sirius fell off the course coincided pretty heavily with how deeply Remus's hands were tangled in his hair. "You're blowing this race mate. At least give me some decent competition."

"Am I not competition enough for you?" Peter jerked his remote around a particularly tight corner.

"Dude you're in ninth place."

"Oh yeah? Well take this." Peter lobbed a blue shell at James, who quickly dipped into second, letting Luigi take the blow for him.

"You're not supposed to announce it, dumbass."

Remus had also noticed the correlation between Sirius's performance and his braiding skills. Remus had worked his way down from the top in a classic French braid, purposefully leaving some choice strands out to frame Sirius's face. Finally, he reached the end of the boy's shoulder length hair, and wrapped the rubber band around the end of the braid three times, just as Sirius, in eleventh place, crossed the finish line.

"Done!" The said in unison.

"Dude…" James's mouth was open. He and Peter had been watching Remus work since they had finished the race a good minute before Sirius. "You look good."

Sirius patted the back of his head, letting his fingers explore Remus's handiwork, before getting up and walking to the mirror to look for himself. "Hot damn, Rem. I look fucking fantastic."

Remus chuckled. "Eh, it's not my best work."

"I am not kidding. I look like a god."

"Woah there, Zeus, tone the ego down." James chuckled, "I want a rematch." He said, nodding to the TV.

"James, you won."

"I know Peter. I want to do it again."

"God," Sirius sighed, "and you complain about my ego."

Sirius gave Remus his remote this time, taking a break to marvel at how damn good his hair looked. "Seriously, Rem, you have to do this for me for school one day." He sank to the floor next to Remus, as the other three boys started on Bowser's Castle.

Sirius decided to backseat drive, since Remus was, as he had stated earlier, pretty shit at video games.

"If you turn left there, there's a shortcut that will spit you out in front of James."

"Hey, who's side are you on?"

"Uh, I don't know if I want tips from you, Mr. Eleventh place."

"Uh excuse you. I was distracted."

Remus smiled.

"Distracted driving. What a bad example you are."

"Do you want to break my record and go for twelfth place? Or do you want to shut up and take my help."

Remus took the left turn the next lap, and it did indeed spit him out in front of James. Of course, he promptly lost that lead, much to the anguish of Sirius.

The rest of the night consisted of James kicking his friends' asses at Mario Kart, and them eating spaghetti at like midnight before deciding it was probably time to head home. James and Sirius started to walk Remus and Peter to their cars.

"Oh, Peter I forgot to show you something in my room." James grabbed Peter's arm and dragged him back into the house. "Bye Remus. I'll see you tomorrow man." He slammed the door.

Sirius glared at the door. What a subtle wingman. "I'll walk you to your car, I guess." He and Remus trudged down the gravel path. "This braid really is so cool. Where'd you learn to do that? Do you have a sister?"

"Oh no. There's not much to do in a hospital so my mom would let me braid her hair to pass the time."

Sirius stopped. "Hospital?"

"Oh." Remus stopped as well, but the same panicky feeling that normally would have a vice grip on his chest right now wasn't there. "Uh…I was sick a lot as a kid."

There was genuine concern in Sirius's eyes. "Are you ok now?"

"Uh…it's manageable." Remus didn't feel panicked, but he still couldn't bring himself to tell Sirius the whole truth just yet. Yes, the fact that someone knew, and his life wasn't over gave him an unnerving sense of peace. But looking at Sirius right then, Remus knew that he wanted things to stay as they were for just a little bit longer. "Don't worry about it."

"Ok." Remus opened his car door and hopped inside.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Can't wait."

Peter was walking out of the house, confused, because all James had apparently wanted to show him was that the staircase in his house had "exactly twelve steps, and isn't that weird, shouldn't we count them again?" He waved goodbye to Sirius, and drove off as Sirius walked through the front door, to James sitting on the steps and grinning ear to ear.


	27. Chapter 27

It had been a few weeks since James had kicked everyone's ass at Mario Kart and school was now well underway. Papers we're being assigned left and right, tests were hurtling towards the gang at full speed, and homework was now an ever-constant drone. Remus had never been completely satisfied with the challenges high school had thrown his way, and well, he was getting bored.

That is until he had an idea.

"Sirius." He whispered out of the corner of his mouth, not making eye contact as he slid into his seat. It wasn't quite first period yet, so they had a few minutes to talk. "Are you free tonight?"

"Huh?" Sirius picked his head up off the desk. Remus had never asked him to hang out first before. "Wait…are we-"

"Lower your voice."

Sirius whispered, "are we- is this one of your pranks?"

"Yes. But be quiet. If you talk this loud we'll get caught." Remus smiled at the fact that Sirius had caught on so quickly.

Sirius's heart quickened in his chest. Oh my god Remus wanted him to help with a prank. That was like the ultimate sign of trust. Remus must really see something in him. Truth be told, Remus asked him because he just wanted to have an excuse to hang out with him after school. Actually, asking Sirius was a huge liability on his part. They were almost certainly going to get caught. But god damn it was going to be fun.

"Ok, listen carefully. I will pass you a note in chemistry with instructions on it. You will laugh at the note like it's a joke, and then you will destroy it. Rip it, drop it in a water bottle, eat it, I don't care, it just better be illegible when you're done."

"Haha geez, you're really serious about this, aren't you?" Remus gave him a look.

"This is a mammoth of a prank, Sirius. We're doing it right." He smiled, but there wasn't happiness in his eyes. Just determination. It sent chills down Sirius's spine. "Meet me in the school parking lot at 10:00 tonight. Wear dark clothes. Come alone."

Sirius didn't dare laugh at Remus's intensity again. "Yes sir."

"And Sirius…"

"Yeah?"

"If you tell James about this, you're uninvited."

"What!? Why?"

Remus dropped the act for a second. "Really Sirius? His mouth is bigger than yours. He's told me what he ate for breakfast every day this week. I haven't asked once."

"Ok. Ok. James will never know."

Remus held out his hand and Sirius shook it. "Welcome aboard."

Sirius didn't remember a single thing that happened from that point until chemistry. The only thing going through his mind was _I wonder what it is I wonder what it is I wonder what it is._ It was actually a good thing that he was so preoccupied because he didn't even think about telling James once. _I wonder what it is I wonder what it is._

Finally, chemistry came. As Remus walked past Sirius's desk he slid a piece of paper across the top, before dropping into his seat. Sirius opened it, and…

What?

Sirius turned back and looked at Remus confused.

Then he looked back at the note.

Then back at Remus. _Destroy it_ Remus mouthed. Sirius nodded and turned back around. He did not understand this kid.

Lunch was torture for Sirius.

"So, what do you want to do this weekend?" James asked, nudging Sirius in the ribs.

"Oh, I don't care." Sirius mumbled. _I'm doing a prank with Remus._

"You guys could come see a movie with Marlene and me." Lily suggested, sipping apple juice through a straw.

"That would be fun." _I have a secret with Remus and it's a prank and it's with Remus and he asked me._

"What movie?" James asked.

Sirius didn't even hear the answer. _Me, he picked me, and we have a secret and it's a prank and he picked me. ME._

Remus was across the table trying not to laugh. Watching Sirius try and hold a conversation while withholding a secret was like watching someone try to stop time. I mean, his eyes were going crossed with the concentration.

The rest of the day flew by for both of them, although it seemed to never end for their classmates. James could barely get a word out of Sirius on the car ride home, Sirius was so afraid he was going to spill. James had asked him what he wanted for dinner and Sirius had said, "milk," before turning red and shutting up.

"All right, we'll get you some milk." James was thoroughly confused.

9:30 P.M. The boys had had dinner, James made sure Sirius had a glass of milk, they had showered, and now were putting on pajamas. Or at least James was. Sirius sat on the edge of the bed, still in his school clothes.

"James, I have somewhere to be at 10:00."

"What? It's a Wednesday."

"I know. And I have somewhere to be at 10:00." Sirius grabbed his keys off the dresser. "Please cover for me."

"Oh, OH! Is this a date? Oh my god man go, I'll cover for you."

"no. NO it's not a date." Was it? "Don't ask me any more I can't tell you." And he ran out the door before he could tell James that it wasn't a date, but it was with Remus, and he gave me a secret. ME, James, he picked ME.

Soon he was back in the school parking lot where Remus stood leaning against the hood of his car.

"Ready?"

"Let's go."

They walked into the front hall.

"You have a key?"

"Yeah I swiped it my first week of school here. Picking locks is such a bore, this is easier."

"I'm terrified of you." Sirius stared with his mouth open, but Remus just smiled back. "What about security cameras?"

"Oh those?" Remus pointed to a security camera in the corner of the ceiling that looked like it had stopped being sold before either of them were born. "The wires are chopped off at the back. I'd be pretty impressed if they were able to pull footage off of it."

Remus led Sirius into the administration office.

"Ok." Remus looked at Sirius. "I need to mess with the PA system for a bit. Can you handle the task I gave you?"

"Yeah… am I going to get any explanation on that? Also, what are you going to do to the PA system?"

"The less you know the better. Meet me back here when you're done." Sirius slunk down the hallway and Remus watched him go. What a beautiful liability.

Finally, Remus had tampered with the PA system to his liking, and he and Sirius walked out of the school with their arms full of Sirius's task. Splitting off at their cars, Remus threw him a wink.

"Phase one done. You'll get your next set of instructions tomorrow in English." And Remus drove off into the night, leaving Sirius in a school parking lot with his arms full of…something.


	28. Chapter 28

It's the very next day and Sirius and James are walking up to the front doors of the school, James berating Sirius about the night before, still trying to get details.

"Where were you last night man? If it was a date, you can tell me. Was it Remus? You were with Remus, right?"

"James, shut up." Sirius was still wildly bewildered and eagerly awaiting his newest set of instructions. Suddenly a lanky, blond figure came barreling through the front door of the school straight towards them. Remus looped his arm through Sirius's and dragged him back towards the parking lot.

"I need to show you something at my car."

James was left in the middle of the sidewalk. Marlene walked up to stand next to him.

"Where are they going?" She tucked her blonde hair behind her ears.

"I don't know," James smirked, thinking he knew more than he actually did, "But I can feel Sirius blushing from here." He balked a little bit. He probably shouldn't have said that.

"Wait…Sirius is gay too?" James's eyes widened.

"Too?"

"I mean…" Marlene stuttered. Remus was going to kill her. "I didn't mean to say too. Sirius is gay?"

"No no go back." James's brain couldn't process this information. "It doesn't make sense without the too. You wouldn't have assumed if not for the too. Holy shit Remus is gay?"

"I didn't say that. I'm not supposed to know that. I didn't say that. I just said too. And it was a mistake." Marlene's eyes were wider than James's.

They stared at each other with their mouths open for a bit. Finally, Marlene broke the silence.

"James you can't tell Remus I told you."

"I have to tell somebody."

"No you don't James. It's not your secret. Keep your mouth closed."

"You don't understand. There's someone that would very much like this piece of information."

"What does that mean?" Marlene asked. Then the gears clicked. "Oh my god Sirius likes Remus doesn't he."

"I have to tell him."

"No James! Remus doesn't want anybody to know."

"You're standing in the way of true love, Marlene."

"It's not our secret. It's not our secret James."

"I feel like Sophie."

"What?"

"From Sophie's choice. I have to tell him."

"That's not what that movie's about James." They continued arguing all the way into the school.

Back in the parking lot, blissfully unaware that their friends had figured out they had the hots for each other before they had, Remus and Sirius were gearing up for the debut of their first ever joint prank.

The task Remus had asked Sirius to do last night was collect every single pencil in the entire school. They had totaled up at about 5,300. Remus had spent the night, uh…getting crafty with them.

"Okay, now I've arranged these in a very specific way and I'm not sure how strong the glue is so we're going to have to be careful." Remus started, and was immediately interrupted.

"Dude did you sleep at all last night?"

"Not important." Remus looked at his watch. "The first period bell rings in 7 minutes. We have to put these in place."

"Is the entire prank stealing all of the pencils in the school? Can't they just buy new pencils?"

"Ok one. We got to public school Sirius. They don't have the budget for new pencils. And two. This is a pretty intricate prank. The pencils are only one part of my plan."

"Do I get to know the plan?"

"If I tell you do you promise not to tell James? I don't want this traced back to us."

"I won't tell. I promise."

"Ok." Remus leaned over and whispered something in Sirius's ear. Sirius tried not sigh as Remus's hand lightly brushed against his face.

"Seriously? That's the plan?"

"What? I've never done a rick roll before. Six minutes, let's go." Remus gingerly placed his "art project" back into his bookbag and walked into the school with Sirius. They tried to slip past their friends but were predictably unsuccessful.

"Hey where are you going?" Lily called as they tried to walk by.

"Gotta do a thing." Sirius called back and shrugged as they kept walking. Wide eyed once more Marlene and James looked at each other. Was this happening?

There was a ledge in the front hall above the administration's office.

"How are you going to get it up there?" Sirius asked. Remus looked at him.

"Do you think you could create a three to five-minute distraction?" Remus asked. Sirius winked at him.

"Anything for you." He walked a couple feet away, so anyone looking at him wouldn't be able to see Remus scaling the trophy case out of their peripheral. Then he pointed at the ground and let out a blood curdling scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

People were staring and gathering in a crowd around Sirius as he shrieked and jumped around and pointed at the ground like a mad man.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

He continued this mad charade until the vice principal had managed to elbow his way to the center of the crowd of students where Sirius stood.

"Mr. Black! What on earth is going on?" Sirius stopped screaming, smoothed his shirt down and calmly replied.

"Sorry sir, I thought I saw a spider." He looked over at Remus, who had successfully finished what he had set out to do and was now leaning against the wall trying to choke back his laughter. The two boys walked over to their very confused group of friends.

"Did that work?" Sirius whispered out of the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah man, I think that worked."

"Ok what the fuck is going on?" James asked when they arrived. But they both just shrugged, relieved that the first period bell meant they didn't have to answer anymore questions.

First period English started out relatively normal, except for a few minor details.

"Why are all my pencils missing?" McGonagall huffed as she frantically searched all her desk drawers. A student had come in with a tardy notice, and she had reached for the cup of pencils on her desk, so she could sign it, only to find it completely empty. Eventually a student gave her one to borrow, but not before James pointed out that in her syllabus it stated that pencils were required material for class, and anyone unprepared for class should not burden their classmates with their mistakes. If McGonagall could have shot lasers out of her eyes in that moment, James would have been ash. Remus hid a grin behind his hand. He didn't even have to recruit James into his prank for the guy to play along.

The other unusual detail would take more than the naked eye to notice right away.

"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you…" James was quietly singing under his breath. For some reason that he couldn't explain, the song had been stuck in his head all class period. It was driving him insane. And it wasn't even like it was his own voice singing in is head. It was as if James could actually hear Rick Astley giving a tiny concert for one inside his brain. James smiled to himself. His memory must be incredible if he could remember Rick Astley's voice this well.

What James didn't know was that every other kid in the school was invited to his "tiny concert for one." The song was stuck in everyone's head at that moment. Except it wasn't in their head.

Remus had rigged the PA system to quietly, almost imperceptibly, play that song through the speakers through out the school. It was so quiet that one could believe that it was just inside their head. And that's exactly what was happening.

Except it wasn't going to stay quiet for long. Remus had it rigged so that each period it got louder. By the end of the day it would be blasting.

And wow did it have the effect he wanted. All it takes is a "never gonna" to make a public high school collapse in on itself.

By fourth period, people had figured out that it wasn't only in their heads. And quite literally, all hell broke loose.

The expletives of the administration could be heard through the PA system as they frantically tried to turn it off. Teachers were cursing, confused as to why every single pencil they owned seemed to be missing, and also rummaging around for stray papers to stuff in their ears. Students were banging their heads against desks, holding back tears, bargaining with god. The more psychopathic students of the bunch were still singing along.

Remus and Sirius sat at the back of the class, blissfully watching the shit show, with their feet propped up on the desks in front of them. Sirius couldn't decide if he was terrified of Remus or completely and hopelessly in love with him.

Suddenly, McGonagall's face burst through the door of their Chemistry classroom. Remus and Sirius sat up straight immediately, trying to look affected by the chaos, but it was too late.

"You two." She pointed two long fingers at them. "Come here. Now." The boys sheepishly got up and followed her out of the class. Before they got within earshot of her, Remus whispered to Sirius.

"Don't say a word."

McGonagall shepherded them to the front hall of the school "The only two unaffected by this madness and you still thought you were going to get away with it. I assume you have to do with the missing pencils as well?" They didn't respond. Just as they walked into the office, the music stopped. The principal sat at his desk holding scissors in one hand and the cut wires of the PA system in the other.

"Minerva." He said, his voice shaky. "I'm going to need you to order another one of these."

She nodded curtly, and then glared at Remus and Sirius. "I think I found your culprits." The principal looked over the boys with a horrified expression on his face. "Oh, and sir?" She said as she walked out the door. "Talk to them separately." The door was shut, and she was gone.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: This is a very special chapter because today is the one year anniversary of me posting this silly little story. Definitely did not think it would get this long, so thanks to anyone who's stuck around for the whole thing. Can't believe I've spent a year of my life on this lol. on another note: I just realized the day I decided to post this, and my one year anniversary is actually RICK ASTLEY'S BIRTHDAY. happy birthday rick my man, it was fate.

The principal eyed Remus and Sirius warily. His eyes floated over Remus's stoic face, the placid expression he had plastered on doing its job to cast doubt that he had actually been involved in this. The other boy on the other hand was a stark opposite from the first one. Hand over his mouth to hide a smirk, leg wildly bouncy in an attempt to get rid of an impressive store of pent up energy. The principal honestly didn't know if these two had done it, and even more honestly, he didn't care.

What was he supposed to do? They don't teach interrogation skills in grad school. He rested his head on his hands and thought _they do not pay me enough for this job._

"I have a head ache. I'm going to get some aspirin. If you move before I get back, I'll have you expelled." He got up and started to leave the room. Truthfully, he was running to his car to chug some whiskey before he had to deal with this. And expulsion involved far too much paperwork for his taste. He didn't know what he was going to do with them, but it wasn't going to be that.

As soon as the door was shut behind him, Remus turned to Sirius. "We are normal high school students, we did normal high school things last night. If you tell them we were here I will cut you. They have absolutely no evidence to tie us to this, and if you get us caught now, it will ruin the second part of my plan."

"Geez man trust me. I got this. Normal high school things." He paused. "Should we go over our alibis? Make sure they coordinate?"

"This isn't a spy movie Sirius. It's more believable if we weren't with each other last night. And they're not alibis. Let's not make this theatric."

The principal sauntered back into the room, the smell of alcohol faint on his breath. "You." He pointed at Remus. "You're first."

Sirius gathered up his stuff and went to wait in the lobby.

"What were you doing last night?"

"I had English homework. I was at home writing an essay."

"Sounds believable enough. Can anyone vouch for this?"

"My parents both work nights."

"Convenient"

"You can check my internet history. It'll just be citation generators and sherlock research." This was a bluff. If the principal had really looked, it would have been YouTube videos about how to rewire PA systems, a two-hour gap where the crime had actually been committed, and then an embarrassing long amount of time on the Instagram page of one Sirius Black. But Remus was 90% sure this man did not care enough to scroll through a high school student's internet log.

Luckily, he was right. The principal just sighed again and sent him out to the lobby to fetch Sirius.

Once Sirius had been sent in, Remus sank down against the wall in the lobby, smiling. Gah what a crazy day. And as long as Sirius didn't spill, they were going to make one hell of an exit.

Back in the principal's office, the tired, slightly buzzed man went through the same script, but with wildly different responses.

"What were you doing last night?"

 _Normal high school things,_ Sirius thought, _what were normal high school things?_ "I was… uh… dog sitting."

"Dog sitting. On a weeknight?"

"Yeah?"

"Is there anyone who can confirm this."

 _Shit,_ Sirius thought¸ _no. Time to improvise._ "Well, the thing is…I didn't actually make it to dog sitting."

"Why not." The principal didn't care, but he was ready to watch this fake alibi spiral into the train wreck he was sure it would become.

"Because… um… because my car ran out of gas."

"So you just got gas and went home?"

"Well the nearest gas station was two miles away. So I had to walk." Sirius was really getting into his back story now, "Through the woods. And it was dark, and there were spiders." He was trying to get some sympathy here but it didn't seem to be working. "So I got to the gas station, and I go into the cashier place. What's that called?"

"The register?"

"Yes!" Sirius clapped his hands. "Thank you good sir. The register. And BOY was it a good thing I was in that gas station. Because there was a pregnant lady behind me, and right as I was paying for my gas, her water broke!" Sirius was literally talking out of his ass at this point. He was going with whatever came out of his mouth and sticking with it. He was standing now, pacing the room and half acting out his story. "She was really freaking out man, and I couldn't just stand there and not do anything. So I got her down on the floor, like they do in the movies. And I told her to push a bunch of times. I've seen Grey's Anatomy you know."

This is definitely not where the principal though this story was going.

"Well there I am, right on the floor with her, holding her hand, and screaming instructions. It was quite heroic if I do say so myself. And after like ten minutes-" Sirius had no earthly clue how long labor was supposed to last. He figured that was a pretty close estimate, "Out pops a beautiful baby boy. Some people say newborns all look like raisins, but I disagree. You could just tell he was gonna be handsome one day."

The principal didn't have anything left to say.

"So yeah, I definitely couldn't have been here last night. You know I was a bit too busy, um, bringing life into this world." There. That was a normal high school thing, right?

Remus was starting to get worried because Sirius had been in there way too long. How long did it take to say, "I was doing homework last night, like I should have been, sir."

But finally, Sirius poked his head out, huge grin on his face, and said, "He wants to see both of us again."

So Remus shuffled back in, fully prepared to accept defeat, take his two months or so worth of detention and go home.

But the principal had no intensions of supervising these lunatics after school for the next two months.

"I don't have any _physical_ evidence to tie you to this incident, so I'm going to let you go."

Sirius almost gasped. He had figured his moronic story alone would have at least earned them a month. But he had forgotten the cardinal rule of tom-foolery. Never underestimate what you can get past a man who hates his job.

While Sirius and Remus were receiving a very half hearted lecture about the discipline policies of the public school system, the rest of their friends were gathering in the front hall of the school, trying to peer in. The whole affair had taken the entire school day, and they were all packed up and ready to go home.

"Do you really think they did it?" Marlene whispered.

Remus and Sirius finally walked out the door of the office. Remus gave his friends a knowing wink and nudged Sirius in the ribs. "You ready?" Sirius nodded.

"Hey, and SIR!?" Sirius shouted, the principal looking up at him from inside his office.

Remus pulled an innocent string that hung from the ledge in the front hall, the same ledge he had been messing with that morning. Every single stolen pencil from the school unfurled from the ledge above the administrations office, meticulously hot glued into the shape of Rick Astley's face. Remus clicked a button on his phone, blasting "Never Gonna Give You Up" from speakers he had planted with the pencils that morning.

"HAVE AN EXCELLENT AFTERNOON!" Sirius shouted over the deafening noise. He and Remus turned on their heels and walked out of the building with their shocked friends, the principal banging his head on his desk behind them.

James whispered back to Marlene, "Yeah I really think they did it."


	30. Chapter 30

Everyone had decided that the only way to celebrate Remus's and Sirius's hilarious victory was to get pizza after school. Sliding into a booth, each holding greasy slices of pizza, the events of the day were all they could talk about.

"Why didn't you _tell_ me!?" James asked, still wildly offended that he hadn't been included.

"Probably because your mouth is bigger than your ego," Lily responded playfully as she took a huge bite of her pizza slice.

"Says the girl that just put half a slice of pizza in her mouth." James said back, laughing as Lily grinned, her cheeks chubby with food. "But seriously. I'm hurt, boys."

"We'll let you in on the next one." Remus said.

"Next one?" Sirius asked.

"What? You aren't up for more?" There was a devious spark in Remus's eyes that made Sirius's stomachs do somersaults that would make Simone Biles jealous.

Marlene sat next to James at the end of the table, wondering how she hadn't noticed how hilariously _gay_ those two were with each other.

"How much planning went into this? Have you guys been hanging out without me?" James was continuing to pester Remus and Sirius with deeply hurt questions.

"Nah, this was something I basically thought of overnight. Like, minimal planning." Remus shrugged.

Jaws dropped. Sirius smirked looking at all the awe he had helped Remus cause. Well more like the awe he had watched Remus cause. He really had been barely involved.

"This was a prank you did on minimal planning?" Lily asked, still trying to pick her jaw up off the floor. "What can you do on maximum planning?"

"Topple empires I'm guessing." Sirius put his arm around Remus's shoulder.

James and Marlene looked at each other. GAY. James grinned, and opened his mouth to say something but Marlene punched him in the knee.

"Ow. What the hell." James whispered.

"It's not your secret." Marlene whispered back. Thankfully their friends hadn't noticed that weird encounter because Alice was too busy picking Remus's brain for prank ideas she could use on their rival school's girls' soccer team.

"I don't know if I should give you this kind of power, Alice." Remus hesitated.

Alice frantically made her case, while Marlene and James continued to whisper argue about what James could and couldn't share with Sirius.

"Come on Marlene. This is _good_ news."

"It's not _your_ good news. I promised him I wouldn't tell."

"I won't tell him you told me. Maybe I just figured it out on my own."

"Yeah like he's going to believe that. Don't tell Sirius. I'm begging you."

"Tell me what?" Sirius, who could barely think because his arm was still casually draped around Remus (his arm, could you believe it? His arm! Was this really even him?), had overheard his name. James immediately opened his mouth to respond, but Marlene swiftly punched him in the knee again.

"Hit me one more time, I dare you."

Marlene ignored him and smiled. "There's nothing to tell. He's just being a brat."

"That is uncalled for." James pouted. Keeping this secret from Sirius might actually kill him.

Two seats over, Remus was carefully positioned under Sirius Black's arm. He was trying his hardest not to move, sweat, breathe, or do anything to make the other boy remove his arm, but he was pretty sure Sirius could feel his heartbeat through the back of his ribs. Was this really happening? Sure, Remus did everything he could to subtly flirt with Sirius any chance he got, but as soon as Sirius did anything that could be interpreted as affectionate, it was as if Remus's body forgot how to perform all the necessary functions required to keep him alive.

His friends continued to pester him with questions, asking what he was going to next, and how long it really took him to glue all those pencils into the shape of Rick Astley's face (4 and a half hours, but he told them 2), all while Remus was struggling to remember how to breathe.

Eventually, the pizza was finished, Remus was no longer in contact with one of Sirius's arms, and everyone was saying goodbye.

Remus watched everyone leave as he got into his own car and headed home. His heart was beating a million miles an hour, for reasons mostly dealing with Sirius Black. But also, because he had impressed his friends today. Him! The boy whose friends were almost entirely fictional up until middle school. The boy with the mysterious disease that America had collectively decide to ignore, the boy who thought he would never be deserving of love. The boy who thought he was invisible and had convinced himself he liked it. And now he had friends that thought he was funny, and cool, and as Alice had put it, "deviously inspiring."

And for the first time, Remus realized that he had impressed himself. _He_ had thought up that clever little plan, _he_ had found and let people get close to him, and _he_ had made these people laugh. Remus thought that maybe one of the reasons he liked these people so much, is because they made him like himself.

Pulling into his driveway, Remus felt strangely brave. He felt inside him the kind of courage that only comes from watching a superhero movie or reading a book that makes you feel seen. And sitting there, right before he got out of his car to walk inside, Remus made up his mind that he was going to do something he never imagined he would have the strength to do.

Hands shaking, he took his keys out of the ignition and walked on wobbly knees to the front door of his house. He slipped inside quietly and found his mom cooking dinner at the stove, and his father reading the paper at the table.

"Hi sweetheart," Hope Lupin held out her arms for a hug, which Remus instinctually returned as he always did. "Dinner's almost ready, you hungry?"

"I already ate, actually. But I'll sit with you guys." He pulled a chair out for himself at the table and tried to ignore the knot forming in his stomach.

"How was school?" His mother asked. His father was being his characteristically quiet self, but he was at least listening in on the conversation.

"The usual." _Anything but,_ Remus thought to himself. He had to do this soon, or he was going to chicken out. "Could we talk about something else actually?"

"Of course. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just have something I want to tell you." Remus noticed his father put the paper down out of the corner of his eye. He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and took a deep breath, looking his mother in the eye as she turned away from the stove. He didn't want this to be a big deal. He didn't want to preface it in any way. It was a part of him and his parents deserved to know. This didn't need to be a spectacle. _Just say it,_ He thought to himself, _say it._

"I'm gay. I just- I just thought you'd want to know." His father picked his paper back up. His mother's mouth parted slightly, the dinner on the stove forgotten for a moment.

"Well that's ok dear. We love you anyways. We'll always love you." She smiled and turned back to the stove. Remus wasn't going to pretend that the 'that's ok' and the 'anyways' didn't hurt. It never feels good to know that someone considers something to be a flaw when you yourself just consider it to just be different. But she hadn't questioned it and Remus supposed that was a good thing.

He looked over at his father, who had resumed hiding his face behind the paper. Is no response better than a bad response? But his father turned down the corner of his paper to see his son looking over at him.

"I had suspected," was his father's response after meeting Remus's eyes. "There's nothing wrong with it." And the paper went back up. In all honesty, that was better than what he had hoped for from his dad.

Remus noticed that his knees had stopped shaking, and his breath was coming easier. His parents knew. He had thought he was going to have to hide this secret from them until he or they died.

"So…" Hope pushed dinner around in the skillet she was monitoring, trying to bring up this question casually, "This Sirius we've been hearing so much about. Is he your boyfriend?"

"MOM!" Remus's face burned with embarrassment. "NO!"

"I'm sorry! You just talk about him so much, I just thought-"

"I talk about my other friends too! Geez!" Remus, too embarrassed to sit with his parents any longer, went up to his room as they ate dinner down stairs. But not before his mom had given him the 'HIV positive safe sex talk.' Remus didn't think his ears could burn any hotter.

Houses away, James Potter's ears were also burning, but not from embarrassment. They were burning from the sheer effort it was taking to keep a particular secret from Sirius Black. They were lying on the floor of his room, Sirius doing homework, and James staring at a math problem thinking _keep your mouth shut keep your mouth shut keep your mouth-_

"Hey James?" Sirius looked up from his essay.

"Yeah?" James replied through gritted teeth.

"I think I'm going to come out. To everybody else, I mean." James's mouth dropped.

"I think that's a great idea!"

"Really? I was just thinking it would be easier to make it official. Get it out of the way." Sirius scratched his head with his pencil eraser. James just couldn't get over how perfect the timing was on this.

"That would certainly make it a whole lot easier for me to keep this secret. Considering that if you came out, he'd probably tell you himself."

"I was thinking- wait, what?"

James could picture Marlene bursting through the door and strangling him right now. "This is just a good idea. That's all," was what he said but what he wanted to scream 'Remus is gay, and I think if you came out he'd probably jump you' but was trying desperately hard to stick to his promise. Even though he'd just about spilled the whole thing. Maybe if he just hinted at it but never directly said it, it wouldn't count as breaking his word.

"You have a secret? And who is 'he'" James couldn't be referring to what Sirius thought he was. But seeing James's face turn red with effort told him it wouldn't be very hard to get the truth out of him. "James what's the secret?"

"I can't tell you Sirius. I promised."

"James." Sirius's heart was quickening. If he was right about this he thought his head might actually explode.

James pressed his lips together and shook his head.

"James!" Sirius thought for a second. "If I guess it, will you nod?"

James's eyes widened. Lips still pressed together, he frantically nodded his head.

"James, is 'he' Remus?" Sirius voice increased about an octave as he spoke, "Is Remus gay?"

James nodded.


	31. Chapter 31

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT." Sirius sat straight up on the floor with his mouth open for a solid three minutes. James couldn't tell if he was breathing. He poked him in the shoulder. Sirius shook his head and stared at his best friend. "How long have you known?" His voice was hoarse because his mouth had been open for so long.

"I literally found out this morning."

"You've been holding that in for over twelve hours? You can't keep a secret to save your life, and this is the secret you decide to withhold?" Sirius still wasn't sure he had heard James correctly.

"To be fair, I did tell you, so I maintain my reputation of not being able to hold a secret."

Sirius fell silent again. He had thought that if he ever heard the words 'Remus Lupin is gay' they would be celebrated with lots of jumping and screaming, and generally acting like he just won the lottery. But it was so much _worse_ than that.

The music they had been listening to faded and James was saying something, but Sirius couldn't hear anything over the pounding in his ears. His stomach felt like he had been crushed under a tractor trailer, and his lungs no longer remembered how to suck in air.

Remus Lupin was gay.

No. Remus Lupin was available.

In actuality, Remus Lupin was curled into a ball in his desk chair, typing Marlene's number into his phone. The line rang three times before she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mar. You busy?"

"Is the cryptid more commonly known as Remus Lupin calling to talk to me? Hold on I have to pinch myself to see if I'm dreaming."

"Keep at it and I'm hanging up."

"I kid, I kid. What's up?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to talk."

"Come on, you never start a conversation without a purpose. What do you really want?"

"You know me too well."

Marlene sighed. Did this kid know talking to him was like trying to scrape the last bit of peanut butter out of the jar? It was slow, and frustrating, and you almost always got your hands messy. "You didn't answer my question Remus."

"I know. You remember our conversation at work the other night?" Silence on the other line. Honestly, Marlene didn't know if she was supposed to play dumb or not.

"Yeah…" She answered reluctantly.

"It's ok. I'm glad that you know, really." Marlene sighed loudly on the other end.

"Oh, thank god. I already have like five guys I'm pretty sure I could get you a date with."

"Haha I wasn't really calling in the hopes of getting prospective date offers."

"Well, if you would tell me what you ARE calling about, we could talk about that. Otherwise, I'm going to give Andrew Thomas your number."

"That guy? I think I can do a bit better than him Marlene."

"For the love of god Remus, quit stalling and get to the point."

"Ok ok. Honestly, I'm thinking uncharacteristically brave thoughts, and I need you to either talk me out of them or talk me the rest of the way into them."

"Ok I can do that. These uncharacteristically brave thoughts…They wouldn't have anything to do with our previous conversation, would they?"

Remus sighed. He didn't think he would ever reach a point where he would be comfortable talking about this. "Yes. I…I came out to my parents tonight."

"What!? Remus that's huge!" He could hear the genuine joy in her voice and threw up a silent prayer that she was his friend. "How did it go?"

"It could have gone worse. They still love me and accept me and all that jazz."

"I'm so proud of you." There was silence for a bit. "Rem?"

"Yeah?"

"I can't talk you out of something you've already done, so I'm guessing there's more?"

"Yeah."

"Well am I going to have to torture it out of you, or are you going to spill it voluntarily?"

"Oh right."

"Remus."

"You are so impatient."

"You are SO SLOW."

"Ok geez. I think I want to come out to the rest of the group. You are obviously the only one I could talk to about it."

"Wow you really know how to make a girl feel special."

"Yeah, I'm not really looking to make _girls_ feel special. That's kind of the point." Marlene laughed.

"Terrible joke aside, I think it's a great idea." Remus could almost feel her smile through the phone. "Are you going to do it tomorrow?"

"Here's the thing. I'd like to make both the gay thing and the… the HIV thing public."

"This is big, Rem."

"I know. And I don't know if I can do it face to face. Especially if I have to see the rest of you for the rest of the day. No offense."

"Haha none taken. If you didn't do it face to face, how would you do it?"

"Is texting too cowardly?"

"Haha I don't think so. I would suggest phone call, but I can't imagine what a mess an eight-person conference call would be. I also doubt you'd get any words out over James and Lily flirting."

"James and Lily flirt?"

"Wow you really are oblivious. She never shuts up about him." Remus honestly could not remember the two of them doing anything remotely flirty. He figured he was probably a bit too preoccupied with someone else.

"So, have we decided text message? It's not too late for you to talk me out of it."

"No chance there. Don't you want to get this out there?"

"Yeah I suppose."

Marlene offered to help him draft the text message. The two of them spent the next half hour painstakingly poring over sentence structure and arguing about word choice.

"Marlene! We are not going with 'I'm here, I'm queer, and my HIV antibody levels are dangerously severe'!" Marlene was laughing her ass off on the other end of the phone line.

"Why not!?"

After a hearty laugh at Marlene's last suggestion, they finally decided on a more appropriate message.

"I'm about to press send, Marlene. Last chance."

"I'm not talking you out of this one Lupin. Let the truth set you free."

"God you are so cheesy." A brief pause, and his thumb hit the send button before he could reconsider.

Spread out across the town, all in their respective houses, the phones of Marlene, Lily, Alice, Frank, Peter, James, and Sirius all went off at the same time.

Remus (Hey guys! I'm hoping you'll forgive the fact that I'm doing this over text, but we're all close enough that I felt it was time you guys learned some things about me. 1. I'm HIV positive. 2. I'm hella hella gay.)

There was about three minutes of radio silence where Remus genuinely thought he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.

But then his friends proved him wrong.

Lily (We love you)

James (^yeah what she said)

Remus was starting to see a little bit of the so called flirt that Marlene had mentioned.

Frank (Love you man)

Peter (I love you too)

Marlene (Haha bitches, I already knew. But I'm proud of you Remus)

Remus did take note of the lack of 'love you _anyways_ ' in his friends' responses and started to feel a warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Alice (Is the floor open to questions?)

Remus (Yeah, I guess the floor is open to questions)

Alice (Oh thank god, I didn't want to be rude. 1. You're not going to die any time soon are you? 2. There's a gay guy on the guys soccer team. Do you want his number?)

Marlene (Geez Alice way to be blunt)

Sirius was sitting on the floor of James's room stunned. James had been right, for one thing. Sirius hadn't entirely believed him until now. But HIV positive? He hadn't seen that coming.

"Sirius, you better act fast or Alice is going to give away your man." James snapped Sirius back into reality. He looked back at his phone.

Remus (1. Not going to die. I have quite the life ahead of me. Statistically, however, I'll probably die sooner than you. 2. We're going to go ahead and bring up the tried and true homosexual motto: just because you know one other person who is gay, doesn't mean I want to date them.)

Alice (Alright, well if you change your mind…)

Remus (I know where to find you.)

Remus had also noticed the uncharacteristically quiet Sirius Black.

"Sirius you have to answer soon, or he's going to think you're a homophobe."

"I can't be a homophobe, James, I'm a homo."

"Haha I know that man, but he doesn't."

"I don't know what to say!" Sirius gasped. He felt like I love you would be too upfront. True that's what everyone else had said but he was sure he meant it in a different way. He almost went for 'I love you man' but that sounded too dude-ish. Why was this so hard. This was all he had ever wanted to hear Remus say and he had no idea how to respond.

Finally, Remus's phone lit up with a notification from Sirius Black.

It was a thumbs up emoji.

Really?

Remus didn't have time to overthink it however, as the conversation quickly carried on, switching topics to english homework, weekend plans, and even a lengthy discussion on some soccer plays Alice was looking forward to trying.

Remus sank into bed, more proud of himself than he had ever been, and more at peace than he had ever felt, and let the fast-paced conversation on his phone screen lull him to sleep.

In the Potter house, Sirius was repeatedly smacking his head up against a wall, while James was laughing like a maniac.

"A thumbs up emoji? Wow dude, you blew it."

"I was trying to look _cool._ " Sirius continued to bang his head up against the wall. "I'm going to make up for it."

"Yeah," James was trying to fit words in between giggles, "And how's that?"

Sirius stopped hitting the wall. "I'm going to ask him out. Tomorrow."


	32. Chapter 32

The ride to school was quiet. James could hear the tense breathing of his best friend and could feel the panic attack brewing under Sirius's skin. He recognized the symptoms from every time he had convinced himself that today was the day he was going to ask Lily out. The fidgeting hands, the sweaty palms, the eyes flickering over everything, refusing to stay still as the brain worked itself into overheating. He believed the scientific name for this affliction was called _love_.

"Relax Sirius, I'm sure it will go fine." James put a comforting hand on Sirius's shoulder. Sirius looked over at him with wide eyes.

"You don't get it James, I can't think of a single thing to say."

They arrived at school and hopped out of the car. Sirius was so flustered that he almost left his book bag behind. Thankfully, James grabbed it and shoved it roughly into his hands as they walked into school.

Their friends were gathered in the front hall, talking about something. Sirius counted heads.

1…2…3…4…5…Remus wasn't there yet. Sirius breathed an almost imperceptible sigh of relief. He still had time to think.

"What's his problem?" Alice asked as Sirius and James entered the group. Sirius kept throwing glances over his shoulder.

"Do you want to tell them or should I?" James asked.

"Uh…" Sirius was still looking over his shoulder. "You can." He was only half paying attention.

"Alright," James said, surprised that Sirius was going to let him admit this. "My man right here has a monster crush on Rem, and in light of recent discoveries, has decided to ask him out."

Sirius's head whipped around. Occupied with waiting for Remus to arrive, he had forgotten that that wasn't necessarily something he wanted the whole group to know. But he steadied himself. They would have found out soon enough.

The girls' jaws dropped.

"You guys would make the cutest couple!" Lily gushed. Alice fixed his hair for him, and Marlene straightened his t shirt.

"Do you know how you're going to do it?" Marlene asked, brushing a piece of lint off Sirius's sleeve.

"No fucking clue." His voice sounded hoarse.

"Do you know when you're going to do it?" Alice asked.

"No fucking clue."

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Lily laughed, but faltered a bit when she recognized the same expression on Sirius's face that she often saw on James's. She shook the thought away as she and the girls helped Sirius come up with a plan. But soon the bell rang and they all scampered to their first period class.

Remus still hadn't joined them.

Everyone took their respective seats as they shuffled into McGonagall's classroom, a bit puzzled as to why the only person everyone wanted to see hadn't shown up yet.

McGonagall began to take role.

"Mr. Black?"

"Here."

"Mrs. Evans?"

"Here."

She continued drawing closer and closer to the L's.

"Mr. Lupin?"

At exactly that moment, a red faced looking Remus slid into his chair, looking like he had run all the way from the parking lot.

He had, actually.

"Here, Professor."

"Cutting it a little close today, aren't we?"

"Astute observation." McGonagall glowered at him for the sassy comeback, but then continued to take roll.

"Hey" Remus whispered to Sirius as he pulled out his notebook and pencil.

Sirius nodded.

A little confused, Remus turned back towards his notebook. He was starting to get more and more worried that his declaration last night had freaked Sirius out.

Actually, he was worried it had freaked them all out a little. They had all been so supportive over text, but he wasn't sure how ready he was for full on face to face time with the rest of them. That was the reason he was late. He had sat in his car in the parking lot, hoping to wait for the bell to ring so he didn't have to stand in the hall before hand and endure questions or weird looks.

The only thing is, you can't hear the school bell outside of the school, and by the time Remus had realized this it had been minutes since it had rung.

McGonagall began her lesson, the monotonous drone already starting to put some students to sleep.

Sirius glanced over at Remus. His head was resting on his hand and his eyelids were starting to droop. How could someone look so cute half asleep under fluorescent lighting. He frantically racked his brain for a way to ask him out.

Marlene had stressed that boys were thick as hell, so it was important for him to be very direct. He didn't want to leave anything up to interpretation.

Lily had stressed that he should do it soon. Girls, she had said, or anyone really didn't like waiting forever for a date. She had looked at James when she said it.

Alice, the only girl out of the three, Sirius supposed, that was qualified to give dating advice, had told him not to overthink it. Knowing his dramatic side, she had urged him not to solely focus on making it memorable. If things worked out, and she was sure they were going to, Remus would remember it because it was an important moment, not because Sirius had said something clever, or done something cool.

But as Sirius stared at the sleepy boy next to him no words would come. Well that's not true. There were millions of words running through his head at the moment. Strings of 'cute cute cute' and 'god damn' and plenty of incoherent noises as well, but the words were refusing to put themselves in to sentences. The most coherent thing he could manage at the moment was 'you cute, date maybe me please?'

Ok it sounded better in his head.

No one was paying attention in English that day. Everyone was watching with baited breath as Sirius watched Remus who was now fully asleep at his desk.

Finally, the bell for second period jolted him awake. Sirius and Remus had second period history together, so they packed up and started walking over to Professor Binn's classroom. Sirius could feel the rest of their friends form a group behind them and start to follow. He turned around and glared at them but they all pretended to be looking away.

"Did you happen to be paying attention in that class? I think I'm going to bomb the next test." Remus said, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes as they walked.

"No, no sorry I wasn't paying attention either." Sirius said kicking himself for not thinking of anything better to say.

"Excellent," Remus chuckled. He looked over at Sirius who for some unexplainable reason looked nervous. Should they talk about what he had revealed last night?

S irius was just trying to think of something to say. _Say something nice,_ he thought, _something that conveys the message 'hey I really want to go out with you.'_

" I like your shirt," was what came out instead. _Dammit._

"Oh uh, thanks." By now they had reached Professor Bins classroom and took their usual seats at the back of the class.

Remus pulled out a sheet of paper out of his spiral bound notebook and started passing notes with Sirius like he did in every other history class.

 _This class is a lot more boring when Rick Astley isn't playing in the background._

Sirius smiled at the tiny slip of paper that was handed to him. He scribbled something back.

 _I still can't believe you pulled that off._

Remus looked at the piece of paper and scribbled in return.

 _We. We pulled that off :)_

When Sirius got the piece of paper again, his hands were trembling slightly. This was it. He was going to do it. He tried to think of the advice the girls had given him. Be direct. Don't over think it. And do it now.

He handed the piece of paper back and Remus read the words.

 _What are you doing this weekend?_

Remus thought for a second. He never planned that far ahead, so it took him a minute. The true intent of the question had gone far over his head.

 _I don't know. Probably homework. Maybe finish a book I'm reading. You?_

Sirius's heart sank. Was that not direct enough?

 _The usual. Sleep and TV probably._ He sent back the paper in defeat, too embarrassed to try again.

By the time lunch rolled around, Sirius had attempted to ask Remus out a total of three times.

Once with the note.

Once he had asked if Remus liked going to the movies.

And finally, he asked Remus what his favorite restaurant was.

Technically, he supposed, he hadn't asked him out at all. He was failing miserably at being direct. But when he went to write _Do you want to hang out this weekend_ his fingers locked in place and wouldn't move. When he went to ask "Do you want to go see a movie with me?" his throat closed up and the words wouldn't come. And when he had tried to squeak out the words "Well if you like olive garden, let me take you there tonight," his own body sabotaged him again with a coughing fit so bad, Remus had to whack him on the back to get him to stop choking.

He knew the worst thing that could happen was that Remus would say no, but he didn't know what to do if he did.

An eager James met Sirius at the door of the cafeteria.

"Well?" James asked with a huge grin on his face, "Did you get yourself dinner plans for tonight?"

Sirius hung his head. "I haven't asked him yet. Or at least he hasn't noticed I have."

"Hasn't noticed? What in the world does that mean?" James said.

"I'm having trouble being direct."

"Well do it now then."

"I don't want to do it in front of everybody." Sirius gasped. The only thing that made him more nauseous than getting rejected by Remus was getting rejected in front of all his friends.

"You have to do it sometime, mate." James and Sirius sat down at the group's lunch table, joining an already seated Marlene, Alice, and Peter.

"Well?" Marlene asked expectantly.

"He hasn't done it yet." James replied. The girls looked noticeably disappointed. Lily flounced over excited.

"He hasn't done it yet." Marlene informed her. Lily's face fell.

"Oh." She sat down next to James.

Frank and Remus entered together, got their lunch, and walked over to join the rest of their friends.

"Nobody say anything." Sirius hissed, desperate to preserve at least a little of his dignity.

"The had pizza today," Remus smiled at the unusually silent lunch table.

"Pizza is good. I like pizza." Sirius said, regretting the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. Marlene face palmed.

Luckily, Lily started a normal lunch time conversation about the boys' soccer game that weekend she was looking forward to going to. Soon Sirius was a bit more relaxed and participating in the conversation, trying to ignore the side-eye glances his friends were throwing at him and Remus.

Remus, however, was having a difficult time trying to figure out why everyone kept glancing at him. Was it because of last night? No. He decided he was going to trust that his friends' first reactions were genuine and that they did support him. So, it wasn't that. But something weird was definitely going on.

And Sirius had been acting strange around him all day. Asking what kind of food he liked, and if there were any movies out that he wanted to see. I mean, Sirius was usually an inquisitive person, but he erred more on the side of asking Remus what kind of new prank ideas he had, or if he thought it was punk rock to secretly love Disney movies. Remus didn't quite understand the sudden change in behavior.

At least, he didn't understand it until after seventh period. They were standing in front of their neighboring lockers, packing up their stuff to go home. Sirius had just asked him a fifth variation on the question 'what are you doing this weekend?'

"Hey Rem, doing anything fun this weekend?"

"Sirius, I already told you-" Remus paused. Wait. The questions about the weekend, the movies, the restaurants. Was this happening? Suddenly, with butterflies in his stomach, Remus said "Wait-"

Sirius blushed. Has this variation of the question hit its mark?

"Sirius Black are you flirting with me?" Remus closed his locker and looked Sirius dead in the face. Sirius blushed harder than he ever had before.

"I'm TRYING to!" He cried, exasperated. It wasn't like this was the fourteenth time he had tried to ask Remus out that day alone.

A smile broke over Remus's face, and Sirius's stomach churned as he waited for his friend's response.

"I'm getting coffee after school before I go home. Do you want to come with me?" Remus asked. He could not believe this was happening.

"Like, as a date?"

"YES, as a date, you idiot." Remus zipped up his bookbag.

"Ok." Sirius, still blushing furiously, closed his locker, and slung his bookbag over his shoulder. Remus grabbed his hand (Sirius was suddenly wishing it wasn't so sweaty) and together they walked out of the school.

Passing the rest of their friends, Sirius looked over his shoulder and winked, a bright smile splitting his face from ear to ear.


	33. Chapter 33

Remus and Sirius climbed in Remus's car, Sirius still grinning like a fool. Remus decided to take him to a local coffee shop in their area. He hadn't actually had plans for the afternoon, and 'coffee?' has just sort of slipped out when he had asked Sirius out.

He had asked Sirius out, could you fucking believe it?

They were going to a local coffee shop because, well, Remus couldn't just take him to the Starbucks in the mall. First, he worked there and preferred not to spend a second longer there than he had to. Second, James and Marlene were working that day, and he didn't plan on giving the two of them front row seats to this. First dates are awkward enough.

Speaking of awkward, Sirius was frantically searching his brain for something to say. God, it didn't even have to be clever, it just had to be something.

"So, nice weather today, huh?" Sirius groaned internally as he said it. The weather? Was he trying to act like he was in a bad sitcom? But Remus grinned at him and laughed.

"You can't think of anything to say either can you?" Remus laughed at him again when Sirius blushed a deep red. "I mean what do people even talk about on first dates?"

"I don't know," Sirius responded breathily, kicking himself mentally again for not coming up with anything better.

"Well the thing is, I don't think anybody knows." Sirius looked over at Remus, wondering where he was going with this. Remus met the look of confusion with another heart melting smile. "No, no hear me out. Romantic movies- oh don't look at me like that, everyone watches romantic movies- no but romantic movies always show you up until the first date. The meet-cute, the courting, the doing stupid things to get the other to notice. And then immediately it's happily ever after, they're riding off into the sunset. They skip the first date. Because nobody knows how they're supposed to go."

Sirius was looking over from the passenger's seat, his nervousness slowly melting away as he watched Remus wildly gesticulate as he explained his first date theory. He watched that same smile he had fallen in love with that day on the beach. That one misplaced curl he had committed to memory in english class. Those eyes that he hoped would never in their life look at another person like they were looking at him now. Sirius took in the magical boy sitting next to him and decided it was silly to feel nervous. He should feel lucky. His brain suddenly started working again as he met those eyes.

"I guess we'll just have to make up the script as we go."

The conversation came easy after that. The two of them were all jokes, and laughter, starting to get to know each other through the things they found funny. They pulled in to the parking lot and hopped out, close enough to each other that their shoulders rubbed as they walked inside.

"Can I get a Chai Tea? And he'll have a caramel latte," Remus coolly instructed the barista, pulling out enough cash to pay for both of their drinks. And Sirius, burning at the ears, let him. They grabbed their drinks once they were ready and sat down at a table in the back corner.

"Can I tell you something?" Sirius asked as he played with the lid of his cup.

"What?"

"I hate caramel lattes." Sirius broke out into an apologetic grin.

"What!?" Remus was shocked, and now utterly embarrassed that he had tried to be cool and order for the other boy. "It's the only thing you've ever ordered from me!"

"I know, I know! I panicked, and it was the first thing I saw on the menu." Sirius blushed. He couldn't believe he had kept up this stupid charade for so long. In the past few months he must have ordered about a hundred of them from Remus.

"You panicked? Haven't you ever ordered coffee before?"

"I didn't panic because I couldn't pick a coffee order. I panicked because the barista was cute, and I forgot how to breathe." Now it was Remus's turn to blush. He still couldn't believe he was on a date with this guy.

"Well I'm not going to make you drink it. Do you want to switch?"

"I don't even know if I like yours."

"Well try it." Remus pushed his paper cup across the table towards Sirius, who took it, and took a tiny tiny sip. And then another. And then a gulp.

"This is actually really really good. Can I have it?" He took another gulp anyways.

"Yes, you fool, that's why I offered it to you." Remus reached out and stole Sirius's untouched latte from across the table. He had to admit now, that even though he had made just about every caramel latte that Sirius had ordered, he had never seen him drink one.

They chatted a little bit more.

Sirius asked Remus what the numbers written on his hand were.

"They're call numbers." Remus said, stroking over the ink on his hand with his thumb. Sirius looked a bit confused.

"You- you mean phone numbers?" He asked hesitantly. Remus laughed.

"No no, they're for books. It's so I can find them when I go to the library later." Sirius felt a bit stupid now, but Remus was smiling at him and nothing was better than that.

"What books are they for?"

"Well, one's for the phantom of the opera, cause I haven't read it in a while. And the second one's for annihilation."

"Sounds scary."

"It's supposed to be some kind of horror book. I heard it was really good."

"Well let me know if it is."

"Actually, the movie is coming out this weekend. If you want to, I don't know, go see it with me when I finish the book."

"Wow asking me out on two dates in one day. Bold move, Lupin."

"It's only cause I know you'll say yes." Remus smiled at Sirius again. How could Sirius say no to that smile? So he agreed he would go see the movie, even though he hated horror. He figured at the least it would give him an excuse to hold Remus's hand again.

For the next couple of hours they talked about everything and nothing and anything.

Sirius told Remus that when he was grown up he thought he wanted to be a baker. Remus asked him why, and he said cause then he could be a stay at home dad and also he liked the smell of bread. Remus laughed and said that was a very punk rock answer and Sirius almost fainted. Remus had only said it so he could see Sirius blush again.

Remus asked him if he knew how to bake anything. Sirius said he could make muffins, and bread, and cake. Remus said he was shit at cooking and maybe Sirius could teach him someday. He eagerly agreed.

Remus talked forever about places he wanted to visit and things he wanted to do there. Sirius sat across the table with him as Remus's mind took him to Australia to see deserts and coral reefs and kangaroos.

He took them to India to see old temples and monkeys and walk barefoot with monks.

He talked about Iceland with its volcanoes and legends.

And Ireland with its castles and green.

He told Sirius he wanted to go to Mexico so he could pretend he was Miguel and had found El Dorado. Sirius told him he thought he was more of a Tulio, and Remus pretended to be hurt.

Sirius sat there fascinated, by Remus's imagination. He had the kind of mind that had been told to sit still for too long, and now no longer listened. Sirius wondered wistfully if he would ever get to go to any of these places with Remus.

It had been hours and they still hadn't run out of things to talk about. The coffee shop had slowly emptied out, and as Sirius was recounting some of his favorite jokes, the barista wandered over to their table.

"Hey guys, we're closing in like five minutes, are you guys gonna be done soon?"

A little embarrassed that they had let time slip away from them, they apologized, threw their cold empty cups away and headed out to the parking lot to get back in Remus's car. They had been in there so long it was getting dark now, and streetlights were starting to come on.

Remus drove Sirius to James's house, the two of them still chatting away like the conversation had never been interrupted.

Remus put the car in park in the drive way and for the first time in about four hours, silence over took them.

Remus looked over at Sirius, admiring the way his hair fell a little over his eyes, how his eyes looked in the warm amber of the street lights. All Remus could think was _why didn't I do this sooner?_

Sirius was thinking of wildly different things. Things that made him weak in the knees, and slightly nauseous. He was thinking of end of date things, of romance movie montage things, of love songs things, of-

And all of a sudden, he was living those things as Remus leaned across the gap between them and pressed his lips firmly against Sirius's. The pressure of Remus's lips parted Sirius's slightly. Sirius melted up against him, gasping a little as Remus pushed his hands into his hair. Their lips locked and moved together, Sirius's tongue eventually finding it's way into Remus's mouth.

Sirius used two of his fingers to tilt Remus's head up just a little bit, trying with all his might to seem cool and not like he wanted to do this for the rest of his life.

They broke apart after a minute, both knowing that this wouldn't be the last time they did this, but one of many.

No, millions.

As he watched Sirius close the front door, and started the drive home, Remus couldn't describe what he was feeling.

It wasn't until he got to his house that it clicked.

He was happy.


End file.
